Early in Agent 54's Career

Young Agent 54

  Agent 54 here again.   For me the tradition of Sunday Silliness goes back 7 or 8 days.  I got such a positive response from my previous revelations about my comfort in my own scalp that I felt that I had to give my fans more personal insights on myself.  I’m sure my fans and I have had similar experiences.  It is these similar experiences that forge a common bond between us all.

  I was born very young.    I immediately realized that everything was going to be different.  For a while I played it cool.  Cautiously observing and getting used to my own senses and then, shit happened. 

  At first I just went with it.  Filling my diaper seemed natural and easy.  When the deed was done I became blissfully distracted with all the new stimulus in my brand new world.  Suddenly, I caught a whiff of jiff. Pueewww, stinky.   What had I done?  Was this new condition permanent? Being emotionally immature, I began to cry.   My cries brought another person who changed my diaper and made everything okay again.  I was again blissfully distracted.

  Later that same day I began to feel an annoying sensation in my tummy.  Slowly a vision of something large, long and brown came to my mind.  It was a Snickers bar and I was hungry for the first time in my life.  How to get a Snickers bar became my obsession.  I had no mode of transportation, no language skills, no cell phone and no pockets to put money in if I could even manage to find some money.  It seemed the odds were stacked against me. 

  Realizing that it would be impossible for me to score a Snickers bar at such a young age, I began to cry again.   Shortly, this brought another person who stuck something in my mouth with some kind of liquid libation in it.  I consumed it figuring that it would have to do but, knowing that, someday, I would eat as many Snickers Bars as I wanted and there would be nobody who could stop me (goo, goo, gaa ,gaa evil baby giggling)

  Because thinking was still new to me, it took a little while for this very young mathamagician to put 2 and 2 together and figure out that when I cried someone came and solved all my problems.  I decided to test my first hypothesis. Waaahwaaah I cried and sure enough a nice person showed up and checked the oil and filters and made sure I was thoroughly okay.  Bingo!  It works like a charm. 

  The rest of the day I reacted that same way to every event.  Burp – cry.  Fart – cry. Bored-cry and every time someone came and gave me the attention I desired.  Abuse of power? Let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone.

  Well, that was quite an eventful first day If you ask me.  So many firsts.  Lessons learned for a lifetime.

  I have to go now but, I look forward to sharing more personal insights on Silly Sundays to come.  Until we meet again, farewell my fans, farewell.

The Commodore

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