|Young Agent 54|
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Early in Agent 54's Career
I was born very young. I immediately realized that everything was going to be different. For a while I played it cool. Cautiously observing and getting used to my own senses and then, shit happened.
At first I just went with it. Filling my diaper seemed natural and easy. When the deed was done I became blissfully distracted with all the new stimulus in my brand new world. Suddenly, I caught a whiff of jiff. Pueewww, stinky. What had I done? Was this new condition permanent? Being emotionally immature, I began to cry. My cries brought another person who changed my diaper and made everything okay again. I was again blissfully distracted.
Later that same day I began to feel an annoying sensation in my tummy. Slowly a vision of something large, long and brown came to my mind. It was a Snickers bar and I was hungry for the first time in my life. How to get a Snickers bar became my obsession. I had no mode of transportation, no language skills, no cell phone and no pockets to put money in if I could even manage to find some money. It seemed the odds were stacked against me.
Realizing that it would be impossible for me to score a Snickers bar at such a young age, I began to cry again. Shortly, this brought another person who stuck something in my mouth with some kind of liquid libation in it. I consumed it figuring that it would have to do but, knowing that, someday, I would eat as many Snickers Bars as I wanted and there would be nobody who could stop me (goo, goo, gaa ,gaa evil baby giggling)
Because thinking was still new to me, it took a little while for this very young mathamagician to put 2 and 2 together and figure out that when I cried someone came and solved all my problems. I decided to test my first hypothesis. Waaahwaaah I cried and sure enough a nice person showed up and checked the oil and filters and made sure I was thoroughly okay. Bingo! It works like a charm.
The rest of the day I reacted that same way to every event. Burp – cry. Fart – cry. Bored-cry and every time someone came and gave me the attention I desired. Abuse of power? Let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone.
Well, that was quite an eventful first day If you ask me. So many firsts. Lessons learned for a lifetime.
I have to go now but, I look forward to sharing more personal insights on Silly Sundays to come. Until we meet again, farewell my fans, farewell.