My wife was torturing me on Labor Day with
another Romantic Comedy (chick flick) starring The beautiful and talented
Sandra Bullock and dumbass Englishman Hugh Grant. After a few minutes of casual observance, I
stated that “this flick would be better with the sound off”. I said
“So, she works for him, what’s her job, keep him from being an asshole? “She’s a lawyer” Carol responded. I said “I think it’s going to take more than
a Lawyer. I think he needs a doctor, lawyer
, an Indian Chief and a Rabbi”. “Shut up
and eat your bagels” Carol barked. “Yes
Dear” Nothing wrong with this movie that
a few car chases, some explosions, a pole dance or two, a Lunar landing and
some gun shots wouldn’t fix, I thought quietly to myself.
I saw something about a book titled 50
Shades of Grey . My wife called it
“mommy porn”. The main character is
Christian Grey. I guess if I was the
main character in a book, because I have IBS it might be titled 50 Shits a
Day. My wife musically said “Dump to
da dump, to da dump to da dump, dump, dump”.
Was that funny? I usually know
from funny. I think she may have made a
funny.
Nuttball with Football |
Watching NASCAR I asked her “don’t you think
Jimmy John’s sandwich co. should sponsor NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson? “Shut up and finish your sandwich” said
Carol.
When we watch football it’s like
Punnsylvania in my living room.
University of Pittsburgh Quarterback is named
Savage. Just before halftime they had a
chance to score. I told my wife “ the
coach has to turn Savage loose”.
I saw
some NFL news and I said “the Jets just signed QB Brady Quinn because they
think he can win and they threw QB Graham Harrell into the trash barrel.
Watching Purdue vs. Notre Dame
football game. I told Carol that Purdue
missed the field goal. She said “the
chickens missed it”. I said “yeah, they
clucked it up”.
One Purdue
player is named Bob King. He has a cousin who is a good golfer named Par
King. His other cousin is a Norseman named
Vi King. He has a skinny cousin who is
wicked smart named Thin king. They say his sister is a drunk and a real dog named Bar King. His other sister is a terrible dancer named Twer King. His Pirate cousin is the lookout on the crows mast. Name is Sea King.
I saw a
player named Herring. Something fishy
about him. A. Hunter plays for
Purdue. His first name is Antelope. His brother B. Hunter is on the team. Yes he is Bear Hunter. Their cousin is T. Hunter. That’s right, Treasure Hunter.
Did I tell you about the cajun family that goes by the name Ting? The twin brothers were One Ting and Same Ting. We had a party but, we didn't invite them. We had no Ting.
Did I tell you about the cajun family that goes by the name Ting? The twin brothers were One Ting and Same Ting. We had a party but, we didn't invite them. We had no Ting.
I apologize.
Your wife must roll her eyes at you a lot. Okay, you two have a very interesting life. I like that.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)
Carol found Stinky yesterday and she screamed and laughed.
DeleteHave a great Silly Sunday yourself.
'... They clucked it up'
ReplyDeleteNow THAT'S funny!
We do the same actually, we have fun with people's names and so on, but because we both do it, it works quite well. Unless we're in the company of outsiders, in which case we run the risk of being carted off to the lunatic asylum.
Its a fun part of the game. thanks
DeleteLMAO my mind is going ten to the dozen ;-)
ReplyDeleteHave a fabularse week ahead :-)
Thank you.
DeleteThat's quite the play on words you two have going on there. My gal would either laugh at me or strangle me after a while!
ReplyDeleteWe laugh. Thanks for playing.
DeleteYou two sound like you are just meant to be together. I bet you make each other laugh a lot. You're especially lucky to have a wife that likes sports.
ReplyDeleteVery clever name revisions. Does Bob King have any brothers named Joe King? I think he would find you extremely funny.
Joe King is a cousin. Thanks for playing.
DeleteLOL this made my day! Thanks for visiting and sharing your post with us on Monday Madness link party!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I live to make people laugh.
DeleteI am so delighted that you shared your witty and delightful insights in Conversations from Punnsylvania at the Healthy Happy Green Natural Party! I'm Pinning and sharing this!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Come visit Punnysylvania anytime.
DeleteThis post like so many of your posts had me in stitches. I especially liked your version of mommy porn. That movie is truly laughable. I do agree that Jimmy John's should sponsor Jimmie Johnson. That would make all things right in the universe. 😆
ReplyDeleteJust trying to straighten out the Universe, one joke at a time.
DeleteThanks again.
Socks and sandals, you're ready for the big league! Great post!
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, I don't do that every day. Weekends.
DeleteThanks for playing.
GROAN!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny, though? Puns are considered to be one of the lowest forms of humor... unless I'm the one who came up with it. Then I feel so clever!
Thanks for linking up at https://image-in-ing.blogspot.com/2017/09/pop.html
That's the goofy truth.
DeleteThanks for playing.
You must be an interesting fellow to live with. You certainly keep it coming.
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting. Come back early and often.
DeleteBernie Sanders he is a liberal democrat and soecialists nothing new for the Democrats they have never been like JFK ASK NOT WHAT YOUR COUNTRY AND DO FOR YOU ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY they have forgot hat
ReplyDeleteYes they have. Thanks for playing.
Delete