Sunday, September 22, 2013

The One That Got Away

  Don’t call me Ishmael.  I will not respond for my name is Commodore Agent 54 and I have a fish tale to tell.  I’m actually not a sea-fairing man despite serving in the United States Marine Corps.  I spent 4 years on Marine Air bases.  The first time I actually went aboard ship was as a civilian for my Honeymoon cruise. I  boarded the Nordic Empress, with my current wife Carol.  It is Carol who plays a pivotal role in this story.

  I don’t know how I acquired my love of salmon.  Is it in my heritage or something I picked up in the Marine Corps, I cannot tell you.   All I really know is that any way it is prepared, I always enjoy salmon.  Carol is keenly aware of this fact.

  Carol is very proficient in the galley.  She takes pride in creating complete meals that please her spouse.  Carol will at times, take risks and try new things that usually turn out well.  So, on a Monday Carol bought a $9.00 piece of salmon with the idea of saving it in the freezer for a Friday feast.  Anxious to try a new recipe, she awaited the end of the week. 

I do not go into my own freezer.  I have learned.  I will forego the ice cream sandwich to preserve my well-being.  In the past when I was young and dumb, I would open the freezer door only to have something frozen solid spring out at me like a coiled Cobra and then tumble toward my naked feet in an effort to break one of my toes.  No, I do not go into my own freezer.  I have learned.

  Friday came and I occupied my living room TV chair in anticipation of the creation of a meal fit for a Commodore.   Carol asked me “honey have you seen the fish?”  Like a true smart ass I replied “No, nothing has swum by in a while now.”  Carols said “I can’t find it.” “Would you take a look?”  I hesitated at the thought of taking on the dreaded freezer.   After a moment, I realized that I still had my titanium toed work boots on.  I could check the freezer in relative safety.

  Before I got near the dreaded freezer, I spotted something fishy atop the refrigerator.  “What’s that?”  I said hoping that I was wrong about what I thought it was.  Carol reached for it, grabbed it and on the way down it dripped on her.  “Ewwww” she cried as she dropped it on the counter.  There it was.  The $9.00 piece of salmon that I had anticipated eating had been sitting on top of the freezer since Monday.

  Carol was crushed.  She had tried to rearrange and repack the evil freezer to make enough room for the fish and then she forgot to actually put it inside.  Her plans dashed by an act of her own stupidity, she began to sob.  As Commodore, I had to console her.  “It’s okay dear, Taco Bell is open” I said.  Carol sobbed and said “I wasted a nice $9.00 piece of salmon.  I was going to,,,” I cut her off.  “Let it go dear and so it won’t be a total waste, this fish shall now and forever be known as The One That Got Away”    We will tell this story to our children and our children’s children and it will become an everlasting source of levity for future generations enduring on into infinity.


  That is my tale true as can be, of The One That Got Away from the deep blue sea.


Narwhals
The Commodore


52 comments:

  1. LOL, don't we all have a way to relate to that story. Hahahhahaa on the Taco Bell offer. Salmon, or Taco Bell? It's sweet that you consoled her. :)

    Thank you for linking to Super Sunday Sync. I follow you with G+.

    PS I too have experienced spring-loaded items flying out when the freezer door is opened, unfortunately, I'm usually in flip flops. ;)

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    1. It is these common experiences that forge a bond between us all. Thank you very much.

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  2. I quite enjoyed your story even though it had a fishy sweet ending mind you it is easily done I do hope the smell wasn't too bad LOL.

    I am always putting my mobile down and forget where I put it and have to ring it from my landline to locate it but sshhh don't tell anyone.

    PS: I think as a treat for Carol you should cook the dinner next Friday heheh!

    Have a fishtastic week and thanks for sauntering by ;-)

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    1. Uh, my cooking isn't really any good for anyone except barnyard animals. Thanks.

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  3. Poor Carol. Some of the best laid plans. Well you know. I love this post and it's nice that Carol is the center of what I think is just plain funny.

    Have a terrific day. :)

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    1. Thank you. Have a great day too.

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    2. Carol just read this one and she wasn't happy about being called my "current wife". We've been married for 22 years and she is my only wife and my last wife.

      There now, that should keep me out of the doghouse for a while.

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  4. it was really funny when the fish tail flopped over the freezer it was vacuum sealed whole fish :)

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  5. What a great fish story. I love how consoling you were. Nothing worse than making a mistake and having someone point it out to you ...but you didn't do that to her. YAY for you.

    Mistakes happen!!

    Great line, too. The one that got away for real.

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    1. Yes, the Commodore must be aware of his responsibilities especially if he wants anything cooked for him again.

      Thank you.

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  6. BTW, Tim...I have had some trouble with your feed coming to my reader. The problem is with my Feedly reader not picking it up so I joined through Google as well. I don't know if you ever look at the sources of your followers but that is why there may be two showing my address.

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  7. Thanks for coming by my blog - are you just on google+ and not GDC?

    I am laughing at how you don't go into your own freezer! No ice cream? Sad.

    Sandie

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    1. I don't dare go into the evil freezer. Thanks.

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  8. Ick! Poor Carol and her fish. I had a freezer like that a new years back, but de-hoarded. Now I am much more zen in my freezer. Me and my toes are happier for it.

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    1. A Zen freezer. Why didn't I think of that? Thanks.

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  9. The same thing happened to me one time, I think it was a steak, I can relate to your wife, I know what she went through

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  10. Sorry about the fish - I would have cried too. Also I can relate to that whole jumping out the freezer in attack mode thing, too.

    It happened to me in Walmart. http://www.roses2rainbows.com/2010/02/fumble-in-freezer.html

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    1. I recommend wearing a helmet and safety glasses at Walmart. Thank you.

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  11. I laughed, I cried. Poor Carol. Must have smelled like cat food. Btw, I agree with her objection to the term "current wife", however your consolation with Taco Bell proves what a good husband you are!

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  12. Congratulations on your Commodoreship

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    1. It's kinda an honorary thing. Thank you.

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  13. Sorry about the salmon, but you are right, it does make for a great story. On the brightside, its now soft sides won't hurt your toes. First time here. Love your style and I am now following. I also loved seeing the Silly Sunday banner, as I created it almost two years ago (and passed it on to the awesome Sandee).

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    1. You are too kind. Thank you for Silly Sunday

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  14. I love this story. Haha. I couldn't stop laughing at the thought of that "one that got away". If that happened to me, I would surely cry, especially if I was craving so much for salmon. :))

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    1. Thank you. I had to console my wife. She was very upset.

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  15. Funny story and even funnier that you offered Taco Bell as a solution! A man after my own heart!

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    1. I have a special love for Taco Bell although it rarely loves me back. Thanks.

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  16. This is a very fishy story and I enjoyed reading it. The one that got away indeed. Taco Bell? lol. Great writing and imagery to match.

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    1. Thank you. I'm trying to finish a story I started yesterday but, I'm a little sleepy from too much turkey.

      Have a great weekend and stop bye early and often.

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  17. Greatly appreciated this story coming from a husband's point of view. Thank you for sharing and for the fact that you were there and willing to console your wife for a faux pas we have all experienced at some point in our lives. When it happens we all would appreciate the one we love to play it down and make us feel better for something we already feel bad for.

    My point is "You are a great catch" even tho the story is about "The one that got away"!

    My hat is off to you my friend as my husband is like you and considerate, and girls like us who have blonde moments from time to time melt in your arms. :)

    Thank you,

    Donna/BookTiger :D

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. My wife is still hurting from an October car accident. She still made a fine Thanksgiving feast. I do have a keeper.

      Have a great Holiday Season.

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  18. Enjoyed rereading this one.Still lol'd. Glad you amd Carol had a nice feast in spite of her pains. I made mine today for Dan and Jess, since we were at Jenny's yesterday.

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    1. Happy leftoverday. You are excused. Thanks for reading my silliness.

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  19. Hi Agent 54,
    Thank you for sharing your entertaining wit with us with "The One That Got Away" at the Healthy Happy Green Natural Party! I'm Pinning and sharing this!

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    1. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Please come back to my blog early and often. You may enjoy some of my other funny stories.

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  20. Now that's a good story. :D
    Glad to have found you on The Joy Chaser.

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  21. Poor Carol. Tell her I cooked a roast with the plastic film on it. Couldn't see it to save my life but sure smelt it!

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    1. It's the thought that counts. Thank you ladies for cooking anything for me and my fellow men.

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  22. This cracked me up - it's exactly the kind of thing I would do! :)

    Thanks so much for sharing over at #FridayFrivolity

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    1. Great! What time is dinner?

      Thanks for playing.

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  23. I'm beginning to learn to cook now. Wish me luck!

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  24. Great fishy story. Now to get the smell of old fish off the freezer. #alittlebitofeverything

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    1. Yes, it takes some elbow grease and pine oil to freshen things up.

      Thanks for allowing me to share.

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