
Agent 54 here again. Only 2 weeks into the NFL season and my Minnesota Vikings are facing playoff elimination after losing close games to the Lions and the Bears. I listened in to an interesting conversation designed to address this problem. Check it out:
Scene:
Christian and Samantha Ponder’s home.
The telephone rings.
Chris: Hello
Leif
Eriksson: Hello, am I speaking to
Christian Ponder of the Minnesota Vikings?
Chris: Yes you are, who is this?
Leif: I am Leif Eriksson, also known as Leif the
Lucky. I hail from Greenland by way of
Norway. I am a fan of your Minnesota
Vikings.
Chris: Oh, well thanks. You know we have fans all over the world.
Leif: Yes, I’m sure that is the case. I want to talk to you about the season so
far.
Chris: Well, we had a couple of close loses on the
road but, I’m sure we will bounce back. There still is time.
Leif: Yes, Lions and Bears can be quite challenging
prey. When my people hunt Lions and
Bears we also have an 11 man team. We
use 5 archers and 5 hand axe men. The 11th
man carries the finest, sharpest spear our craftsmen can make. It is the job of the Spearman to lead the
hunt, to direct the other men and to deliver the final killing blow by throwing
the spear through the heart of the prey.
Chris: So, you had your own Quarterback too.
Leif: Quite, and It was my honor to be the Spear-man
for my village’s team. I learned that it
takes great qualities of character to lead the team to a successful hunt. You must show leadership and inspire
confidence in your men by making the correct decisions with split second timing
and never showing your fears.
Chris: Wow, that sounds so much like the NFL.
Leif: Yes, they are very similar except you don’t
eat your vanquished opponents.
Chris: Thank God for that.
Leif: Thank Odin.
So, I want to tell you that I have all the confidence of Thor, the God of
thunder, in your ability to lead your village team to many successful hunts in
the future if you can demonstrate your leadership and command of the team.
Chris: Well, I found your story very inspirational. I’ll certainly do my
best to lead the Minnesota Vikings on to victory in the Superbowl.
Leif: Good Luck and may Odin’s favor be upon you.
Chris: Thanks, good bye.
Samantha
Ponder enters the room.
Sam: Who was that honey.
Chris: It was Leif Eriksson and we had a great
conversation. He’s a big fan.
Sam: Who?
Have you been drinking?
Scene: Eric the Red’s condo where he and Leif are
hanging out and drinking Heinekens.
Eric: So son, do you think he bought it?
Leif: Oh yeah, you watch, there will be a big
improvement next week against the Cleveland Browns.
Eric: Good.
Say, didn’t we used to dig a dead fall with sharp spikes in the bottom
and cover it with brush and then chase the Lions and Bears into the pit when we
hunted them?
Leif: Sure father but, that doesn’t fit the NFL and
it’s actually kinda boring. I took the
liberty of Bullshitting young Christian Ponder.
Eric: Hey, whatever works, praise be to Odin.
Leif: Praise be to Odin.
Holy cow! I can’t wait to see next weekend’s Browns vs
Vikings game. We’re gonna win for sure with
an inspired Quarterback leading the way.
Go Vikings!
Mega-Super Project
The One That Got Away
Are You Ready for Some Football?
Mega-Super Project
The One That Got Away
Are You Ready for Some Football?
If they win next week we'll know why. Bwhahahahahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific day. ☺
Thank you and I will take credit.
DeleteAnnnnnnndd the Vikings have gone the way of my team, the Giants.
ReplyDeleteOh, well, who wants to play football in January and February, anyway?
Well, I kinda did. I think the Vikings are going to clean house now. Maybe Mike Shananagans and Josh Freeman are the answer? Who knows?
DeleteThanks for playing and Happy New Year!
All year the Vikings started the wrong Ponder.
ReplyDeleteHey, a fellow Viking fan.
Skol
Skol! May Odin bless us with a coach who hasn't got his head up his ass.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Hey Football Fan,
ReplyDeleteI don't know much about football. I hope your team wins.
Thanks for coming to the Blogger's Pit Stop Linky Party last week.
Janice
Thank you for reading my silliness.
Delete#SKOL
ReplyDeleteSKOL!
DeleteThanks for playing.