Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Viking Pep Talk

I tried to help the Vikings in 2013.  It didn't work out so well.  Ahh,,,Maybe this year?  

Agent 54 here again.  Only 2 weeks into the NFL season and my Minnesota Vikings are facing playoff elimination after losing close games to the Lions and the Bears.  I listened in to an interesting conversation designed to address this problem.  Check it out:

 Scene:  Christian and Samantha Ponder’s home.  The telephone rings.

Chris:  Hello

Leif Eriksson:  Hello, am I speaking to Christian Ponder of the Minnesota Vikings?

Chris:  Yes you are, who is this?

Leif:  I am Leif Eriksson, also known as Leif the Lucky.  I hail from Greenland by way of Norway.  I am a fan of your Minnesota Vikings.

Chris:  Oh, well thanks.  You know we have fans all over the world.

Leif:  Yes, I’m sure that is the case.  I want to talk to you about the season so far.

Chris:  Well, we had a couple of close loses on the road but, I’m sure we will bounce back.  There still is time.

Leif:  Yes, Lions and Bears can be quite challenging prey.  When my people hunt Lions and Bears we also have an 11 man team.  We use 5 archers and 5 hand axe men.  The 11th man carries the finest, sharpest spear our craftsmen can make.  It is the job of the Spearman to lead the hunt, to direct the other men and to deliver the final killing blow by throwing the spear through the heart of the prey.

Chris:  So, you had your own Quarterback too.

Leif:  Quite, and It was my honor to be the Spear-man for my village’s team.  I learned that it takes great qualities of character to lead the team to a successful hunt.  You must show leadership and inspire confidence in your men by making the correct decisions with split second timing and never showing your fears.

Chris:  Wow, that sounds so much like the NFL.

Leif:  Yes, they are very similar except you don’t eat your vanquished opponents.

Chris:  Thank God for that.

Leif:  Thank Odin.  So, I want to tell you that I have all the confidence of Thor, the God of thunder, in your ability to lead your village team to many successful hunts in the future if you can demonstrate your leadership and command of the team.

Chris:  Well, I found your story very inspirational. I’ll certainly do my best to lead the Minnesota Vikings on to victory in the Superbowl. 

Leif:  Good Luck and may Odin’s favor be upon you.

Chris:  Thanks, good bye.

Samantha Ponder enters the room.

Sam:  Who was that honey. 

Chris:  It was Leif Eriksson and we had a great conversation.  He’s a big fan.

Sam:  Who?  Have you been drinking?

Scene:  Eric the Red’s condo where he and Leif are hanging out and drinking Heinekens.

Eric:  So son, do you think he bought it? 

Leif:  Oh yeah, you watch, there will be a big improvement next week against the Cleveland Browns.

Eric:  Good.  Say, didn’t we used to dig a dead fall with sharp spikes in the bottom and cover it with brush and then chase the Lions and Bears into the pit when we hunted them?

Leif:  Sure father but, that doesn’t fit the NFL and it’s actually kinda boring.  I took the liberty of Bullshitting young Christian Ponder.

Eric:  Hey, whatever works, praise be to Odin.

Leif:  Praise be to Odin.

Holy cow!   I can’t wait to see next weekend’s Browns vs Vikings game.  We’re gonna win for sure with an inspired Quarterback leading the way.  Go Vikings!

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  1. If they win next week we'll know why. Bwhahahahahahahahaha.

    Have a terrific day. ☺

  2. Annnnnnndd the Vikings have gone the way of my team, the Giants.
    Oh, well, who wants to play football in January and February, anyway?

    1. Well, I kinda did. I think the Vikings are going to clean house now. Maybe Mike Shananagans and Josh Freeman are the answer? Who knows?

      Thanks for playing and Happy New Year!

  3. All year the Vikings started the wrong Ponder.
    Hey, a fellow Viking fan.

    1. Skol! May Odin bless us with a coach who hasn't got his head up his ass.

      Thanks for playing.

  4. Hey Football Fan,
    I don't know much about football. I hope your team wins.
    Thanks for coming to the Blogger's Pit Stop Linky Party last week.