When Agent
54 was in high school my best buddy was Bob.
Bob was smarter than me, funnier than me, more devious and a better
street Hockey player. He could make me
laugh so hard that I’d go home feeling like I had been beaten up because my
ribs were so sore.
After high school he went to work at Keystone
Lighting (yes the same place where Snyderman worked) in the shipping warehouse
as a fork truck operator. I had another
job but, things didn’t work out there, so I joined Keystone Lighting about a
year and a half after Bob.
The warehouse had many official policy signs
that were white ovals with red letters and a red stripe around the edge of the
oval. They said things like: No Smoking Please mgmt. and Use Handbrakes
Please mgmt. or Safety Glasses Required Please mgmt.. These signs were always posted on the steel
beams that went from the floor to the ceiling and always at eye level.


A little while later I joined the Marine
Corps for 4 years. When I came back I
went back to work at Keystone Lighting (yes, in Snyderman’s department). Bob had been fired at least 3 different
times by then and had given up on the place.
I had to walk through the warehouse one day for whatever reason and to
my surprise, there it was: No Hard-ons
Please mgmt.. Yup, right where Bob first
put it. This was 7 or 8 years after he
first installed it.
I had to wonder how many people had seen that
sign over the years and thought “No Hard-ons Please” was official policy of
Keystone Lighting? I wondered if maybe
it had become official policy of Keystone Lighting because some middle
management idiot saw it and wrote it into policy? I wondered if there was someone who was in
charge of enforcing the “No Hard-ons Please” policy? Were there written instructions as to exactly
how to enforce that policy?
I had to wonder how many new employees saw
that sign and it became a straw, maybe the last straw, that broke the camel’s
back and caused them to quit? People
quit Keystone Lightning constantly. “No
Hard-ons Please” could have been just enough to push some guys over the edge.
Finally I had to wonder how many vendors and
customers saw that sign and thought “gee, if “No Hard-ons Please” is official
policy at Keystone Lighting, maybe it should be official policy where I
work? Did this bogus policy spread?
To this day whenever I’m in a warehouse
anywhere I always find myself looking for that devious little sign: No Hard-ons Please mgmt.. I hope I never find it but, you never know.
I think I would have noticed that sign. Seriously. I'm just saying. I like your silly friend though.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day and weekend filled with laughter. :)
I haven't seen him in a very long time. Thanks.
DeleteHee Hee. There's always one. He sounds like fun, though. I'm surprised he didn't erect (oops, sorry about that) a "No Farting" sign somewhere in the building.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I never came across it but, it was a huge building. Thanks.
DeleteI'm sorry I just keep staring at the pic of Kate Upton.
ReplyDeleteWhat's this post about again?
I noticed I get more page views when I have a cutie at the top. Thanks.
DeleteHmm, I could have used that sign back when I was a professional ball waxer at an upscale spa!
ReplyDeleteUh, I don't want to touch that. Thanks for visiting.
DeleteLOL! Small blog world. I was just getting ready to introduce you to Phil on Twitter and I see up there that he commented. Of course you two know each other ;-)
ReplyDeleteSmall blogosphere. Phil is great. Thanks for visiting. How are the Good, the Bad and the Ugly doing?
DeleteI'm glad they don't implement that rule everywhere! Thanks for the laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteAs far as I know it is NOT actually policy anywhere. I wonder what the penalties would have been? First offense? Second offense? 10,000th offense?
DeleteThanks for playing.
LOL.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Delete[ Laughs ] I am surprised that management actually kept the sign up.
ReplyDeleteThat post of yours was quite enjoyable to read!
I don't know if they ever really saw it because the warehouse was so far from the offices.
DeleteThanks for playing.
A prank worthy of an award!
ReplyDeleteBob always was hilarious.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Reminds me of a friend of mine- there is always one person in each group with this quality!
ReplyDeleteYes and thank god for that.
DeleteThank you for playing.
I love he made the sign, that's so funny. (And I love the ninja and pirates sign)
ReplyDeleteBob is a real funny guy.
DeleteThanks for playing.
LOL!!! I can think of a few places that might need that sign. Thanks for sharing it at #WoW Words on Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteThanks for playing.
DeleteThanks for making me smile this morning! Great story! :) Too bad there was no photo of the sign!
ReplyDeleteThanks for playing.
Delete