Sunday, November 10, 2013

Old Marine Corps Joke

Gunnery Sgt Lee Ermey
  Agent 54 here again.  Today is November 10th, 2015, This is the 240th  Birthday of the United States Marine Corps.  The Marine Corps was born in Tun’s Tavern in Philadelphia, PA in 1775 and we’ve been kicking ass ever since.  I first heard this old Marine joke when I was a Marine Recruit (maggot) in 1981.  I love this joke.  This is my version:

  A platoon of U.S. Army Soldiers was out hiking in formation when the Platoon Leader, a Lieutenant, spotted a Marine Gunnery Sergeant on top of a hill on the platoons left flank.   The Marine began to yell things at the platoon like “you pansies couldn’t fight your way out of a paper bag” and various other taunts and insults. 

  The obviously furious Lieutenant halted the platoon and barked out an order.  “Sergeant, pick your two best fighters and send them up the hill to teach that Marine a lesson”.  The Sergeant sent his two best up the hill.  When the men got near the top of the hill, the Marine disappeared over the top of the hill and the soldiers followed him.
 
Two minutes later the Marine GSGT. Was on top of the hill yelling again.  “Hey you dog faces, is that the best you got?  My grandmother could whip them. 

 The obviously very furious Lieutenant bellowed again.  “Sergeant!  Send ten men up the hill to teach that Marine a lesson”.  The Sergeant sent ten men up the hill.  When the men got near the top of the hill, the Marine disappeared over the top of the hill and the soldiers followed him.

  Ten minutes went by and then, one soldier could be seen crawling over top of the hill back to the platoon. looking through his field glasses the Lieutenant could see the soldier was missing his cover and one boot.  His uniform was torn and dirty and he was bleeding from the mouth.

  The obviously very, very furious Lieutenant bellowed again.  “Sergeant!  Prepare the platoon to go up the hill and teach that Marine a lesson.  As they were preparing the crawling soldier tumbled down the hill stopping at the Lieutenant’s feet. 

The obviously very, very, very furious Lieutenant bellowed again.  Private! Report!  The poor Private gasped for air and gave his report the best he could.  “Don’t do it sir. (wheezing) Don’t go up the hill. (gasping) It’s a trap (wheezing) sir, there’s TWO of them!


Semper Fi and Happy Birthday to my band of brothers and sisters.


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46 comments:

  1. SandeeNovember 10, 2013 at 7:34 AM

    Love this. I do love those marines. Semper Fi and Happy Birthday to all the marines out there.

    Have a fantastic Silly Sunday. ☺

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    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtNovember 10, 2013 at 7:47 AM

      Thank you so much for Silly Sunday and have a great day.

      Delete
  2. AnonymousNovember 10, 2013 at 8:12 AM

    That's great! I can believe I never heard that before. And me, the spawn of a proud Marine. Have a great day!

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    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtNovember 10, 2013 at 10:51 AM

      I'm glad you enjoyed it and have a fabulous birthday.

      Delete
  3. stevebethereNovember 10, 2013 at 8:33 AM

    LOL brilliant one I had never heard also ;-)

    Have a tanfastic week and thank you for your visits ;-)

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  4. Marcia Shaw WyattNovember 10, 2013 at 8:46 AM

    Not surprised I haven't heard this one before... my nephew's in the Army. :) So- don't tell him, but I think this is super funny! Thanks Tim, and thank you also for your visits to Blogitudes. Have a great Sunday!

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    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtNovember 10, 2013 at 10:53 AM

      Thank you for visiting me. I enjoy your blog too.

      Delete
  5. Lucky LadyNovember 10, 2013 at 11:51 AM

    good one, have a good week

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  6. ReformingGeekNovember 10, 2013 at 1:05 PM

    Haha! Love it!

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  7. Phil HoltbergNovember 10, 2013 at 7:58 PM

    That's a good one Tim. Needed a laugh heading into Monday.

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    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtNovember 10, 2013 at 8:19 PM

      Yeah, I get to work on Monday. Happy Veteran's Day.

      Delete
    2. UnknownNovember 10, 2015 at 10:39 AM

      Heard on conservative radio Mark Levin that there is a bill in till Wed Veterans off on Veteran's Day, we damn sure deserve it! Good week to you maybe see you at the range someday? 🐊

      Delete
    3. you all areNovember 10, 2015 at 10:40 AM

      Heard on conservative radio Mark Levin that there is a bill in till Wed Veterans off on Veteran's Day, we damn sure deserve it! Good week to you maybe see you at the range someday? 🐊

      Delete
    4. you all areNovember 10, 2015 at 10:40 AM

      Heard on conservative radio Mark Levin that there is a bill in till Wed Veterans off on Veteran's Day, we damn sure deserve it! Good week to you maybe see you at the range someday? 🐊

      Delete
    5. Timothy HechtNovember 10, 2015 at 5:04 PM

      Yeah, I worked today and I get to work tomorrow too but, I have a good job so, I'm not complaining.

      Delete
  8. Rhonda AlbomNovember 11, 2013 at 12:36 AM

    LOL - thank for the laughs. I never heard this one before :)

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  9. LindaNovember 11, 2013 at 7:27 AM

    That's a good one!. Happy Monday...or not depending...

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  10. Me-Me KingNovember 11, 2013 at 11:30 AM

    Ahahaha, that's one I've never heard before, good one. Thank you for your service!

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    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtNovember 11, 2013 at 3:01 PM

      You are welcome. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

      Delete
  11. brendaNovember 12, 2013 at 2:42 PM

    Yes, Semper Fi and happy bday. I'm a little late to the celebration, but wishing it all the same.

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  12. KatherineNovember 12, 2013 at 5:53 PM

    I am grinning ear to ear. That story had me at every word. I am a product of the Navy and proud of it - and am so grateful to every single branch of service - so much sacrifice... so much hard work.... I just can't imagine being that brave!

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    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtNovember 12, 2013 at 6:32 PM

      Thank you. I have had friends from all the branches and I respect all those who served. Just a little inter-service rivalry. Army - Navy football game coming soon. Go Navy!

      Delete
  13. Kenya G. Johnson @ KenyaGJohnson.comNovember 12, 2013 at 7:49 PM

    LOL! Love it. OOORAH back at cha. Retired Marine spouse here - nice to meet you by way of the PINcentive blog hop.

    BTW I read this whole thing in the voice of Ermey as Sarge in Toy Story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtNovember 12, 2013 at 7:56 PM

      Thank you so much for being a new fan. I love Gunney Ermey. I'm working of something with Buzz Lightyear right now. Please come back early and often.

      Delete
  14. stuNovember 14, 2013 at 2:37 AM

    I think Mary Gentle does a nice version of this joke in her orcs/marines mash up Grunts, only with tiny glittery fairies rather than marines, which adds a certain something.

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    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtNovember 14, 2013 at 4:08 AM

      I have to look for that and read it. Thanks for contributing.

      Delete
  15. Julie MaloneyNovember 14, 2013 at 10:22 AM

    Oh this was a great time for me to read this, with it being Veterans Day week, I'm glad I stopped by!

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    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtNovember 14, 2013 at 3:15 PM

      I did time it that way. Thanks and come back soon.

      Delete
  16. SandeeMarch 2, 2014 at 10:19 AM

    Okay, did you quit blogging? I've been missing you. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtMarch 2, 2014 at 2:19 PM

      I have a new job and I'm working a lot right now. I don't know when I'll get to blog again. Thanks for the kind words.

      Delete
  17. Ricky CARRIERENovember 1, 2015 at 2:32 AM

    I remember this. HHOOOOORAH !!! SEMPER FI, TO MY BROTHERS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. rickyjmyeverlastingsoul.rc@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. Janice WaldJune 15, 2016 at 12:58 AM

    Interesting! November 2016! Tongue in cheek post!
    Thanks for bringing your post to the Pit Stop last week.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtJune 15, 2016 at 5:28 AM

      Uh, actually that was a goof on my part.
      Thanks for pointing that out.

      Please come back early and often.

      Delete
  19. Stacey LoringAugust 30, 2016 at 11:59 AM

    Hey this was awesome. Also, my birthday is November 10th. Thanks for stopping by Wild Wednesday Link Up Party. I'm hoping you weren't the one who was passed out with your head in the toilet. If so, I was the one who put you in the bunny jammies and tweety pie slippers. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Timothy HechtAugust 30, 2016 at 6:14 PM

      I'm telling you, I had nothing to do with any damn Flink Pamingos!

      Delete
  20. Lydia FilguerasDecember 21, 2016 at 1:09 PM

    My brother-in-law would appreciate this :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Mary K.- The Boondocks BlogJune 1, 2017 at 5:18 AM

    Haha that was a good one. Thanks for putting a smile on my face!

    ReplyDelete

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