Old Marine Corps Joke

Gunnery Sgt Lee Ermey

  Agent 54 here again.  Today is November 10th, 2015, This is the 240th  Birthday of the United States Marine Corps.  The Marine Corps was born in Tun’s Tavern in Philadelphia, PA in 1775 and we’ve been kicking ass ever since.  I first heard this old Marine joke when I was a Marine Recruit (maggot) in 1981.  I love this joke.  This is my version:

  A platoon of U.S. Army Soldiers was out hiking in formation when the Platoon Leader, a Lieutenant, spotted a Marine Gunnery Sergeant on top of a hill on the platoons left flank.   The Marine began to yell things at the platoon like “you pansies couldn’t fight your way out of a paper bag” and various other taunts and insults. 

  The obviously furious Lieutenant halted the platoon and barked out an order.  “Sergeant, pick your two best fighters and send them up the hill to teach that Marine a lesson”.  The Sergeant sent his two best up the hill.  When the men got near the top of the hill, the Marine disappeared over the top of the hill and the soldiers followed him.

 

Two minutes later the Marine GSGT. Was on top of the hill yelling again.  “Hey you dog faces, is that the best you got?  My grandmother could whip them. 

The obviously very furious Lieutenant bellowed again.  “Sergeant!  Send ten men up the hill to teach that Marine a lesson”.  The Sergeant sent ten men up the hill.  When the men got near the top of the hill, the Marine disappeared over the top of the hill and the soldiers followed him.

  Ten minutes went by and then, one soldier could be seen crawling over top of the hill back to the platoon. looking through his field glasses the Lieutenant could see the soldier was missing his cover and one boot.  His uniform was torn and dirty and he was bleeding from the mouth.

  The obviously very, very furious Lieutenant bellowed again.  “Sergeant!  Prepare the platoon to go up the hill and teach that Marine a lesson.  As they were preparing the crawling soldier tumbled down the hill stopping at the Lieutenant’s feet. 

The obviously very, very, very furious Lieutenant bellowed again.  Private! Report!  The poor Private gasped for air and gave his report the best he could.  “Don’t do it sir. (wheezing) Don’t go up the hill. (gasping) It’s a trap (wheezing) sir, there’s TWO of them!

Semper Fi and Happy Birthday to my band of brothers and sisters.