Sunday, December 29, 2013

Balls!

 Agent 54 here again.  Some people might say that I have been blessed with a lot of balls.  Those people would be right.

  In fact, I collect balls. What kind of balls you ask?  Many different and diverse kinds of balls.  From small red rubber balls to bowling balls, I find, clean and care for my balls.

  I have a pretzel jar where I keep my small, colorful bouncy balls.  These are my favorites.  I find them when I’m out treasure hunting with my metal detector.  No silly, the metal detector does not detect balls unless they are brass or steel, iron, copper, silver or gold.  No, I find these small bouncy balls by being observant and watching where I’m going.  I have become a bouncy ball snob as it were.  If the balls are discolored or cracked or have, heaven forbid, pieces missing, I throw them into the trash.  Balls that pass my initial inspection get washed in anti-bacterial soap and then further cleaned and shined with Avon’s Skin So Soft.  This makes my balls smell nice and they feel soft and smooth to the touch and of course, Skin So Soft is great for my hands too.

  I often find Baseballs and Tennis balls but I don’t keep them long.  I sell some of my balls at the Play-it-Again Sports shop.   I take a large bag of balls into the store and the shopkeeper inspects them.  He gives me $.50 for the baseballs and $.10 for the tennis or as I call them, the dog balls.  (I call the tennis balls, dog balls because that is what they sell them for.  Dogs love my balls.) 

  Some would say that my obsession with collecting balls is NUTZ!  They might say that I’m losing my marbles but, they would be way off base.  I actually find the marbles that everyone else is losing.  I clean and shine them the same way I do with my balls and keep them in a small glass jar that once held a Yankee Candle.  If they want to challenge my sanity, ha!, let them.  I’ll just look at my jar of their marbles on my coffee table and I’ll know who the sane one is.




Bobbers!  Bobbers are not balls.





Footballs!  I love footballs and I love watching football.  I used to love to play football and I have the scars to prove it.  I find Footballs in the park behind my apartment.  Usually I find them in the lake.  People love to play football in the park but, every now and then they throw the ball into the lake and then eventually it floats down to my end of the lake and it becomes part of my collection.  Again, the Skin So Soft treatment makes them feel nice as I hold onto one of my footballs while watching a game.

  I have many other kinds of balls, many Golf balls, Soccer balls, Basketballs etc… in my collection.  I don’t think my fascination with balls is any more nutz than anyone else’s fascination with Ghosts, Space Aliens, Bigfoots, Fruit Flies or Politics.  I hope you don’t think I’m a Nuttball.  Thank you for allowing me to show and share my balls with you.


Remember, I’m wishing you a Happy New Year as we all watch the sparkling ball of lights drop in Times Square.





28 comments:

  1. Bwahahahahahahaha. You do have a lot of balls.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, so many I don't even bother to count them.

      Thank you and Happy New Year.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Thank you for the compliment. Please visit again. Happy New Year.

      Delete
  3. LMAO you love your balls, and as for counting them it's no problem for me I just have the two :-)

    Have a bouncetastic day

    Best wishes for the New Year :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bwahahahahahahaha. You do have a lot of balls.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your cousin isn't Pete Schwetty is it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think we're related. Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  6. Thank you for visiting my blog. It is always good to meet new bloggers.
    I read your previous post (about cats)....and smiled. And smiled again.
    As a prior cat "owner" I can nod my head in agreement. Totally.
    It didn't take us long to learn "who" owned "who." :))
    Thank you again for your visit to my blog.
    Happy New Year to you and to those you love.
    Jackie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for visiting me. Please come back early and often.
      Are you aware that I'm involved with the Ron Burgundy Campaign for President in 2016? If you would like to volunteer for the campaign, I can arrange that.

      Thanks again and Happy New Year!

      Delete
  7. Do you listen to Lewis Black the comedian? He wants to hire a virgin to be his ball washer...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lewis Black is funny. I clean my own. If you want the job done right,,,,

      Thanks for playing and following me and Happy New Year!

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. I like that idea. Thank you and Happy New Year!

      Delete
  9. "Please grab your balls...." I try not to use this phrase when I teach a group fitness class and we are using Stability Balls. Hee Hee. I think they would be too big for you to collect.

    Glad you had the balls to post this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who else would have the balls to post this? Thank you for playing and Happy New Year!

      Delete
  10. If there is one thing you do have that is very apparebt from your blog and especially this post is that you do have plent of balls ;) Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  11. My dd also collects balls, and also favors the bouncy balls. I gotta admit they are fun. My ds is always finding things on the ground - though not with a metal detector. His favorite? A hundred dollar bill.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very nice. I like colorful things. Still haven't found a Hundred dollar bill yet.

      Thanks for playing and Happy New Year.

      Delete
  12. Well, that's. um. quite a collection you have there. I have a small jar of marbles that I found in the basement, but that's about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm quite proud of my balls. As you know, I'm an Agent too. We must occasionally mingle in the same circles. Tonight I'm going to the NSA New Year's Party. I'll file a report on it tomorrow. I'm still in a Google timeout so, if you could help me share the report, that would be cool. Happy New Year!

      Delete
  13. You definitely have more balls than anyone else I know!

    Happy New Year to you and yours!

    ReplyDelete
  14. tee hee. :)

    thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. i love watching the kingfishers, here, too. such chatterboxes! :) hope 2014 is kind to you and yours!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know I've tried to imitate and describe the call of the Kingfishers but, I just can't do it.
      Thanks for visiting. Come back early and often. I have a large archive of funny stuff.

      Delete