Sunday, January 19, 2014

NSA Petting Zoo


  Agent 54 here again.  Well, I was in my cubicle at the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) when a group of VIPs were being given a tour of the building.  Because my cubicle is the first one they see, being right at the end of the hallway, the tour groups always pause right there and the person leading the groups always gives a brief description of us Listener/Readers.  This always makes me feel like an animal on display at the zoo.

  The other day it was even worse as some of the ladies in the group must have thought of it as a “petting zoo”.    I was just sitting there when one of them started rubbing my bald head.  She was petting me like a donkey or something.  Well, I don’t like to cause a big stink at work so, I just went with it and when the other lady started hand feeding me Doritos well, I figured “this isn’t so bad, let’s just go with it”.

Harbor Seal
  It was the third lady that took it to extremes.  When I think about it now I have to wonder why she was walking in a tour of a high security building, dressed in a business suit, with an open can of sardines?  However at the time she started dangling the sardines in front of me, well, I couldn’t help myself.  You know how much I love sardines, so who can blame me for clapping my flippers and barking like Harbor Seal?  Those sardines were delicious!

  Next thing I know, Commander Gasket is staring at me with that look of extreme disapproval on his face.  I felt like a fool but, the sardine lady still had half a can of sardines and the other lady still had some Doritos.  I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. 

  By the time everyone left my area I had so much orange spice powder from the Doritos on my face I looked like one The Joker’s henchmen.  I also had the breath of a gluttonous  Sea Lion.

  I don’t know why this happened but, I feel like I was set up.  I don’t know what
Commander Gasket
Gasket is going to put in his report.  This whole episode gives me pause to ask a lot of questions like:  Is someone at the NSA trying to get rid of me?  Why would anyone do that?  Does someone think I’m underfed?  Why would anyone think that?  Who walks around with an open can of sardines all day long?


  If you know the answers to any of these questions please type them in the comments boxes.  Without your help I may never figure what really happened that day at the NSA Petting Zoo.


22 comments:

  1. Bwahahahahahahaha. I think you dreamed all of this. Wait, with the sardines I think it was a nightmare.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And a sweet dream it was. I love sardines!

      Thanks and have a Special Silly Sunday :)

      Delete
  2. Sardines in the work place! Bad, bad, BAD idea!!! That's all I have to say about that. :) Have a wonderful Sunday, Tim!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, I have to agree but, what do you do when they are right there in front of you face? Well, you know what I would do.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Haldol, is that an appetite suppressant?

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  4. A definite ploy to see how far you'd go for sardines and Doritos. Next assignment for you: Seaworld.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder what is going on at Seaworld? This could be a very interesting assignment.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  5. Al of these questions have me STUMPED! You have the most interesting job I've ever heard of by a long shot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You never know what's next at the NSA.

      Thanks a lot. Have a great week.

      Delete
  6. LOL well that had me engrossed i do want to know if the patting of your head make you feel better? you know I will never be able to eat any Doritos without thinking of that now LOL although next time I do I won't bother with any sardines heheh!

    I hope you cleaned your teeth and mouthwashed after as gluttonous sea lion breath isn't very pleasant waves hand over mouth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sea Lion breath is not good. :(

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  7. The snacks were a ruse. Inside the sardines were tiny GPS locator chips that will follow your every move until, well, you visit the restroom. These chips alow the owner to track your every move, record every sentence spoken, in person and on the phone. The chips are so sensitive that they are capable of recording your keystrokes.
    Big Brother is certainly watching you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That will be okay if I get to write the report on myself.

      Thanks for solving the mystery.

      Delete
  8. Doritos are ridiculously hard to resist, especially for males. I know, I'm the mom of three of them. :)

    Thanks for the fun post and for linking up to Super Sunday Sync!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your continued support of my blog.

      Agent 54 is going through some changes at this time. Don't worry or be confused. I'm making improvements as I learn more about Blogging.

      Delete
  9. Something fishy is most certainly going on.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for visiting. I'm going through a transition right now. Thanks for reading my silly stuff.

      Delete
  10. After reading this all i want too , is sardine :)
    I saw ur post in Blog Zone on Linked in
    i will be happy if i can see you on my blog
    http://publicawaz.blogspot.com/2014/01/all-i-want-in-world-is-peace.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, sardines are delicious.

      Have a Super Silly Sunday.

      Delete
  11. Better hope they don't start posting photos of this or you might be deported to a zoo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it's the San Diego Zoo, that might be okay.

      Thanks

      Delete