Sunday, February 1, 2015
Are You Ready for Some Football!
Agent 54 here again. I love my job. Sometimes I get to listen in on some of my favorite people from the past. This week we listened to a phone call from The Lone Ranger to his old buddy, Tonto. What a treat. Here’s my report:
The Lone Ranger: Hello, Tonto?
Tonto: Hello Kemosabe, it good to hear from you.
Ranger: I’m calling to confirm that you and the your tribe will be coming to my place for the annual Cowboys vs. Redskins game. The game is on November 23rd at 2:30pm but, we’ll be grilling from about noon on. It will be an all-day affair, as usual.
Tonto: As usual I will be by your side or on your couch.
Ranger: Fine, can I count on you to bring the Buffalo?
Tonto: Ah Yes, Buffalo burgers from Omaha Steaks. Cost much wampum but worth it. Speak of wampum, we bet fifty dollars on game again?
Ranger: You’re on. This time Tony Romo is going to tear up the Redskins.
Ranger: It’s called Medical Marijuana and I only used it after my hip surgery. This is going to be Romo’s breakout season.
Tonto: Yeah, Yeah, you say same thing last year. Who else coming to party?
Ranger: The usual crowd. Mick Dundee from Australia will be bringing the shrimp for the barby.
Tonto: Ah, Crocodile Mick. He big bullshiter.
Ranger: I’d watch who you call a bullshiter after some of the tall tales you tell.
Tonto: What you mean. The shit Tonto make up true.
Both men laugh.
Ranger: Davey Crockett will be here with some Tennessee moonshine.
Tonto: Firewater, powerful medicine, we have fun.
Ranger: Nanook of the North and Quinn the Eskimo will be bringing Reindeer again. I don’t eat that stuff. It smells like an old dog and tastes worse.
Tonto: Ugh. Me think Reindeer graze in yellow snow.
Ranger: I think you’re right. Sherriff Andy Taylor from Mayberry and his Aunt Bea will be there and they always bring some homemade pies.
Tonto: Mmm, good pies. Kemosabe, did you see new movie they made?
Ranger: No I didn’t and apparently nobody else did either. It bombed.
Tonto: Me heard Sherriff Joe Arpio in Mesa Arizona jail shows new movie to bad guys to make them go straight. Spirits say it works.
Ranger: Is this more of the stuff you make up that is “true”?
Both men laugh.
Ranger: So I’ll see you and the squaw and the little Indians on the 13th .