Agent 54 : Is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. He works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. He reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Varmints in Love
here again. Okay, let me see a show of
hands. How many of you like to hang out in a cool bar sometimes and just relax
and be yourself. I’ll take a count,
1,2,3,4,,,,,okay 27. Yeah, sometimes you
just want to be around people who know where you are coming from. Oh,,, you can put your hands down now.
Sorry. Archie Bunker’s Place is that
kind of bar. And, who knows, sometimes
you might get lucky.
Let’s listen and
look in on a typical night at Archie Bunker’s Place.
Scene: As you walk in, the bar is along the far wall
going left to right. The opposite wall
has 4 booths and the far right of the bar has an old jukebox and a pool table. Seated at the left end of the bar is Alf and
he’s wearing my blue Hawaiian shirt that I lent him 5 years ago and he never returned (that SOB). Next to Alf is Rocket J. Squirrel of Rocky
& Bullwinkle fame and he’s talking to a cute little chipmunk chick called
Roxanne next to him. There’s a couple of
bikers and at the far end is the White Spy from Spy vs. Spy. There are a few patrons in the booths. Let’s listen
to the conversation.
Rocky: Yeah, Bullwinkle is a nice guy but, he’s not
the brightest star in the sky. I have to
spend half my rehearsal time helping him read his lines.
Biker Dude: Whoa, nice one Alf.
Dude: Yeah, did ya get any on ya? (he better not ruin my damn shirt!)
bar door flies open and Chip of Chip & Dale steps into the doorway. All eyes turn to the doorway except
Rocky’s. Rocky faces forward and sips
That’s my squirrel-friend.
trouble, the bar patrons, including Roxanne slowly start to back away from
Rocky. Alf passes out and falls to the
dirty floor (that rat fink!).
Rocky: (with his back to Chip in the doorway) Did somebody squeak something?
Chip: You heard me flyboy.
Rocky & Bullwinkle
Bunker: Now boys, I don’t want no
commotion in here like last time. I just got the place fixed up again.
(turning to face Chip) You talkin to me,
you talking to me, who the hell else, you talkin to me, well I’m the only one
here, you talkin to me?
Roxanne is my girl and I don’t want her talking to strange rodents.
Rocky: That’s big talk comin from a little rat like
Chip: We maybe small but, there’s two of us. (Dale
jumps up to be side by side with Chip).
Rocky: That’s it.
We on like Donkey Kong. (I don’t
know what that means)
Chip & Dale
at Chip & Dale as they charge him.
The three loveable varmints are entangled in a heck of a fracas. Roxanne screams and runs out the back door. Broken beer bottles, pool balls, chairs and tables fly. Things get gnawed. A beer gets spilled on Alf, temporarily
waking him up (and ruining my shirt, I’m gonna kick his furry butt).
Archie: I’m callin the cops!
finds its way out the door and continues down the side walk.
(Yelling down the street from the doorway)
Don’t you nutballs come back never again!
surveys the damage.
Archie: Aaawwww cheese and crackers, will ya look at
the mess they made. I shoulda known it
was trouble letting rodents in the place.
Archie and what fight! I hope everyone
is okay. I guess we learned that Love
sure can drive you out of your mind.