Monday, March 2, 2015

Burgundy Campaign in Aruba?

  Agent 54 here again.  Well, Ron Burgundy has conceded the race to President Elect Donald Trump.  It was a great race for Ron.  Let's take a look back at the fun we had on the campaign trail. 

  This was interesting.  We caught up with the Ron Burgundy Campaign on a beach in Aruba.  Hummm.

  Scene:  Ron Burgundy is lounging in a beach chair on a beautiful Aruban beach.  He’s wearing a red and white striped tank-top and blue swim trunks.  He has one sandal on and the other is missing.  He’s holding a folding tanning reflector in one hand and a Scotch in the other and his hair is a work of art.  Most of the rest of the campaign staff are at a thatch covered bar about 10 yards away.  They are dressed for the beach and seem to be enjoying Pina Coladas and Margaritas.  Along comes a reporter in a suit and his film crew.  It’s Blitzed Wolfer!  He sits down next to Ron.

Blitzed:  Hello Ron Burgundy, it’s Blitzed Wolfer for CAN covering the 2016 Presidential race.  How are you?

Ron:  Fine, have you seen my other flip-flop?

Blitzed:  No, I just got here.  I want to ask you how your campaign is going?

Ron:  It’s going great.  I went fishing yesterday and later today I’m going to take Samba lessons from a Gypsy.

Blitzed:  Ah, I thought the idea of your campaign was to meet the voters?  There don’t seem to be a lot of voters here.

Ron:  Whadda you talkin about.  Look out there, she’s a voter.  (Ron points to a beautiful girl with a great tan in a small bikini).

Beautiful Girl:  (calling out)  Ron Burgundy, your hair is a work of art.

Ron:  See, that girl is part of my most important constituencies, voters who love great hair.  You know Blitzed, you have a lot to learn about campaigning.

Blitzed:  But Ron, she’s probably not even an American voter.  Ron, you do know that this is a Dutch island and its citizens can’t vote for you

Ron:  What?  That’s stupid.  These people deserve to vote for whoever they like.  Why they’re as American as you and I.  Take Pepe over there.  (Ron points to a drunk in a straw hat laying on the beach).

Pepe:   zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Blitzed:  Believe me Ron, there aren’t nearly as many American voters in Aruba as there are in America.  So, why did you come to campaign here?

Ron:  (calling out to his campaign manager The Only Wendy Shade)  Hey Wendy, why’d we come to Aruba and have you found my flip-flop?

Wendy responds:  (under the influence of a couple of Pina Coladas) Why?  What’s wrong with Aruba?  Shut up and get a tan.

Ron:  (in an elevated tone)  No! really, have you seen my sandal?

Wendy:  (in a more elevated tone)  Yeah Ron, it’s out there in the ocean riding a dolphin and we came to Aruba because most of America is under 3 feet of snow right now thanks to Algore’s total defeat of Global Warming.  Drink your Scotch.

Howard:  (at the bar with Wendy)  I like Aruba.

Ron:  (turning to Blitzed)  So, there you go.  Any other questions?

Blitzed:  (looking shocked and frustrated)  Yeah, how can I get a Scotch?

Ron:  Oh that’s easy (calling out)  Garson!


 Well now.  I guess we learned that Ron Burgundy is probably the smartest candidate in this race.  Who wouldn’t want to be in Aruba right now?

6 comments:

  1. Bwahahahahahahahaha. He does have awesome hair you know.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hair is important in Aruba. Sunburn up there really hurts.


    Thanks for visiting and have a great week.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very funny. After January, lots of people would want to be in Aruba... #brillblogposts

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL Timothy, Ron Burgundy sounds like someone I'd definitely vote for

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, maybe next time.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete