Agent 54 is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. Agent 54 works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. Agent 54 reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Aquaman's Poker Night
Agent 54 here again. Max (Agent 86) personally assigned me to this
one. We heard an interesting phone call
and that lead us to stake out the docks and pier number 7 in particular. Here’s what we got.
John: Vicente’s Pizza, John speaking. Can I take you order.
Aquaman: Hi John.
John: Hey, A-man, how ya doin? Want the usual?
Aquaman: Not tonight John. I need 2 Aquaman Specials, extra anchovies
and 2 large pepperoni and 2 Italian meatlovers pies delivered to pier 7. You got that?
John: You want all six large pies and say 6 one
liter bottles of assorted sodas. Poker
Aquaman: Can’t fool you, John.
John: Hey, I’m happy to cater your little
affair. Let’s say about 45 minutes for
Aquaman: See ya then.
Scene: Docked at Pier 7 is a submarine that is
shaped to look something like a Blue Whale.
A submarine crew man stands by each end of the ship. The hatch is open and Aquaman waits on the
pier. About 45 minutes after the phone
call, John and his sons arrive.
Aquaman: Hey guys, take that stuff in and put it on
the counter in the galley.
and his sons come out of the sub, Aquaman hands John a $100 bill.
Aquaman: Man your boys are growing like weeds. Hey keep the change.
John: Thanks a lot and good luck in the game?
pizza is my good luck charm. Thank you.
John and his sons depart the first “guest” arrives.
Penguin: Wa, wa How are you my old friend?
Aquaman: Ship shape, how have you been?
Penguin: Busy, busy, planning and scheming, scheming
Aquaman: Well, take it easy tonight. Relax, go on board and pour yourself a drink.
Penguin: Don’t mind if I do. Don’t mind if I do my friend.
boards as another player shows up.
Flipper: Hey, Aquaman as I live and breathe, nice to
see you again my man.
Aquaman: Good to have you come aboard. Where’s your buddy, Shamu?
Flipper: He sends his apologies. He’s still got another day of shooting on
Aquaman: Yeah, how’s that going?
Flipper: I finished up today but, Shamu got a bigger
part and I’ll tell you, it’s gone to his head,,,and his gut too. Ha ha ho
boards the submarine and shortly thereafter another player comes striding up
the dock in a beautiful black tuxedo.
Pesci: (Pesci is Italian for Fish) Hey
Aquaman, is this your submarine or are you just happy to see me?
Aquaman: C’mere and gimmie a hug ya gangster you.
The men hug
and then Joe pretends to punch Aquaman in the gut. They both laugh.
Joe: Hey who’s here?
Aquaman: The Penguin is in there waiting for you.
Joe: Oh my God, I love that guy. Oh boy, you’re in trouble tonight when me and
The Penguin get together.
Aquaman: Go onboard and get a drink.
Joe: Don’t have to ask me twice.
Joe boards. A strange fellow with a squinty eye and corn
cob pipe approaches.
Sailorman: Well blow me down, Aquaman
how is ya?
Aquaman: (as they shake hands) Fine and you’re looking fit. So, Olive Oil let you out tonight?
Popeye: (under his breath) I’m supposed to be takin a shift patrollin
the docks for the Harbor Master as far as Olive knows.
Aquaman: You better sneak on board now in that case.
Popeye: (muttering quietly) Just doin me job and,,, (louder) what’s this?
A submarinizer! I better go
aboard and have a look-see ta makes sure tings is on the up and up and all ship
boards. Charlie Tuna is the next guest
Charlie: Aquaman, I heard you need someone with good
taste to class up this little affair you’re havin here tonight.
Aquaman: Thanks for coming. We have a few class acts here tonight. I’m sure it will be a lot of “tasteful” fun.
Charlie: Not too “tasteful” I hope.
chuckle as Charlie boards the submarine.
A stunning picture of seduction in a mink
coat manifests itself on he pier. It’s
Octopussy and she’s dressed to kill with a beautiful, low cut blue dress under
the mink. She is sporting enough fine
jewelry to make the Queen jealous. Her
full and lovely brown hair accents her piercing blue eyes. She walks in high heels down the pier with
the grace of a ballerina.
Aquaman: Madam, you are fashionably late.
Octopussy: I trust it was worth the wait for you.
Octopussy: Let’s cut the crap. How many suckerfish do we have here tonight?
Aquaman: There are six, not counting myself. Shamu couldn’t make it, he’s working.
Octopussy: Good, I always feel like we’re packed into
that submarine like sardines when he comes.
Aquaman: It’s not that bad. This is a big ship and there is plenty of
room at my underwater home, Atlantis.
Let’s get aboard. We’ll be in
international waters in about 30 minutes.
Octopussy: Let’s do this.
Aquaman: Gives the order “cast off” to the crew and boards
the ship. In a couple of minutes the
submarine slowly departs.
have any surveillance onboard the submarine.
Aquaman must have the latest electronic de-bugging and anti-spy
equipment on board. We’re working on
electronically penetrating his underwater home, Atlantis but, this is difficult
because it is so deep in the ocean.
Because the Poker game is probably played in International waters, I
don’t think an actual crime is being committed but, It sure would be
interesting to listen in on it anyway. I
wish Commodore Agent 54 had been invited.
Maybe next time.