Sunday, April 19, 2015

Recipes for Life

  Agent 54 here again.   I know it’s rude to listen in on the conversations of the ladies but, that’s what I get paid for and it’s so revealing.   Do you remember the Brady Bunch and the Partridge Family shows?  Shirley Partridge called Carol Brady the other day.  How cool is this?:
Shirley Partridge

Shirley Partridge:  Hello Carol?

Carol Brady:  Hi Shirley, how are you?

Shirley:  I’m okay but, my kitchen is a mess.  Mr. Kincaid took Danny hunting of all things and they came back with 3 very dead Porkypines and they insist that I prepare and cook them for the “Big Game Hunters”.

Carol:  Did you say Porkypines?  Nobody hunts Porkypines.

Shirley:  Oh yeah.  They said they were going for deer and came back with Porkypines.  Have you ever cleaned and gutted a Porkypine?  I’m gonna need a Tetanus shot.

Carol:  Oh my word.  Is there anything I can do to help?

Shirley:  Well, that’s why I called.  I’ve heard of a dish called Porkypine Meatballs but, you know, I’m a musician, not a great cook.  Do you or Alice have a recipe for something like that?

Carol:  Uh, you do know that Porkypine Meatballs aren’t necessarily made from Porkypine, don’t you?

Shirley:  What do you mean?  (panicky voiced) I have all this Porkypine here, I’ve got to do something with it and I promised,,,

Carol Brady
Carol:  (interrupting) Stay calm.  Alice is right here.  Alice can you help Shirley?

Alice:  Sure thing Mrs. B. (picking up the phone) Mrs. Partridge, you just listen to ole Alice here and we’ll fix everything.

Shirley:  Oh Alice, you’re a godsend.  How can I ever repay you?
 
Alice:  We’ll find a way.  Now, take that Porkypine and wrap it in a plastic bag and throw it into the trash dumpster.

Shirley:  But, I promised to,,,

Alice:  Nevermind that, just tell the boys you need to step out to get some more ingredients and you get your ass to Sam the butcher.  I’ll call him ahead of time and order some ground beef and ground pork and you’ll add the rice and make the sauce per the Baked Porcupine Meatballs - Southern Food - About.com recipe.

Shirley:  You want me to lie to the boys.

Alice:  I prefer to call it “Bullshitting them”.  Believe me, when you see the look on their faces after they taste the “Porkypine Meatballs” that they think they themselves shot, Bullshiting will become your favorite sport.

Shirley:  Are you sure this will work?

Alice
Alice:  Heck yeah, it will work.  Nobody knows what Porkypine tastes like.  I’ve been bullshitting a long time.  Believe me they’ll love you for it.  Here’s Mrs. B, bye now.

Carol:  Shirley, are you okay with doing this type of Bullshitting?

Shirley:  Well, what choice do I have?  I guess I’ll just have to go for it.

Carol:  That’s the spirit.   Don’t feel bad about bullshitting the boys.  Look at what they get out of it.  A delicious meal and the satisfaction of thinking they brought home dinner the “manly, old fashioned way”.

Shirley:  You’re right.  I’ll make this work and when it’s done I’ll take all the glory.  Why not? 

Carol:  And we’ll cover for you on this side if your guys talk to our guys.

Shirley:  Thanks a million Carol, you and Alice are life-savers.

Carol:  What are friends for.  Bye bye.


  Wow, makes you kinda wonder just how much “bullshitting” is going on in domestic kitchens around the world.  Aw, who cares, as long  as it tastes good. 


Here's  a great recipe for Porkypine Meatballs:    
Porkypine Meatballs

20 comments:

  1. Bwahahahahahaha. Good think Sam the butcher saved the day. And then there was all that bull....... Loved this.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww the art of Bullshitting can make it all taste good.


      Have a tasty week.

      Delete
  2. LOL i got well into that, I might try those meatballs...erm on the other hand...

    Have a bullshittingtastic week :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They do look tasty. I'm eatin.

      Have a delicious week.

      Delete
  3. Just serve them spam. They'll never know the difference.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who knows what Porkypine tastes like?

      Have a delicious week.

      Delete
  4. By bullshitting our food do you mean GMO's (alien DNA). It's obvious that SOMETHING is trying to destroy the human race. #WarinHeaven #SecretSpaceProgram :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would good ole Alice use GMOs?

      Happy Hockey Games!

      Delete
  5. this is my son and my husband's favourite meal - they are simple men and easy to please (or else the rest of my cooking is pretty grim!) anyway I'm glad they were made with ground beef and not something spikey! thanks for sharing at the #OverTheMoon linky :) ~ Leanne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for inviting me to dinner. I'm sure I' get along with your guys just fine.

      Happy Holidays.

      Delete
  6. Hahaha, great post. I haven't had Porkypine Meatballs in years. Thanks for sharing on Sunday's Best Linkup.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the diner invitation. I love Porkypine meatballs.

      Delete
  7. Hahahh - What a fun post!! Found you at the Bloggers Pit Stop - I'm needing to follow you! Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I live to make people laugh.

      I'm writing something silly today. I hope you will like it.

      Delete
  8. Awesome! So kind of Alice to share her recipe with us at Creatively Crafty #ccbg :) Be sure to thank her for us, will you?

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  9. never heard of porcupine meatballs. Thanks for sharing with #CCBG

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We learn something new every day, if we are not careful.

      Delete
  10. I have learned something new from you, Agent 54. Porcupine meatballs. This blog may be one of your best efforts & a fine tribute to America's mom, Florence Henderson.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to educate you.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete