Sunday, April 12, 2015

Ron Burgundy’s Big Announcement

Crystal Springs Carwash Chandler, AZ
  Agent 54 here again.  Well, Ron Burgundy has conceded the race to President Elect Donald Trump.  It was a great race for Ron.  Let's take a look back at the fun we had on the campaign trail. 

  Blitzed Wolfer:  Hello I’m Blitzed Wolfer for CAN the Cable Ass Network.  A crowd has gathered here at the Crystal Springs Carwash,  6001 Erie St. & Kyrene Rd. in beautiful Chandler Arizona 85226 for an event that could have major consequences for the 2016 Presidential race.   The place is highly decorated with Patriotic Red White and Blue balloons, Flags and streamers.  A podium awaits a speaker.  There is excitement in the air.

(Ron Burgundy approaches the podium to speak)
  Hello everyone and thank you for coming to the Announcement of the Ron Burgundy Campaign for President of the United States of America.  (wild cheers)


  I want to give a special thank you to Campaign Chairman The Only Wendy Shade and Campaign Volunteers Maureen, John and Tim.  (small applause)

 This great country is starving for leadership and I want to feed it. (cheers)

   America needs a real man with brawn and great hair (shout from the crowd “your hair is a work of art, Ron)  Thank you, little lady.   We face many challenges in the future down the road and I want to be behind the wheel. (cheers) 

  I want to steer America around the potholes and through the toll booths to greener pastures.  It is in those pastures that I want to milk the cows of human kindness so that no child is left without milk.  I want to be the Duct Tape that repairs the split we see in our society today. (cheers)

  Will this be easy you ask?  Heck No!  It’s gonna be hard as hell but, with a great team like the Channel 4 News Team behind me and all Americans everywhere behind me, we can do this. (cheers)

  I know that you may have heard some “small voices” talking of smelly Pirate hookers and such.  Well, those “small voices” are jealous of my hair and they seek only to divide this great nation.  Well, this nation is not dividable! (cheers) 

We will move on past such nonsense and just ignore it until it goes away. (cheers)

Presidential Candidate Ron Burgundy
  I’m asking you to join me in this monumentous task as my friends Jack Nicholson, Ricky Bobby, Cam Brady, Buddy Hobbs, Megamind, Brennan Huff, Allan Gamble, Frank Ricard, Jackie Moon, Mugatu, Chazz Michael Michaels, and many others have joined me for the future of America (wild cheers)

  Thank you, I’m Ron Burgundy and I want to be President of the United States.


Blitzed:  Well, there you have it.  Ron Burgundy has officially thrown his hat into the ring for President in 2016 and what a race that will be.  That’s all from Crystal Springs Carwash,  with $4.00 Touchless Automatic service at 6001 Erie St. & Kyrene Rd. in beautiful Chandler Arizona 85226.  I’m Blitzed Wolfer for CAN



16 comments:

  1. Bwahahahahahaha. How appropriate on the very day that Hilliary is supposed to throw her hat in the ring once again.

    Have a terrific Silly Sunday. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ron had to throw his hat into the ring before it messed up his hair.

      Have a great week!

      Delete
  2. LOL and the names make me laugh,

    Have a politicallytastic week :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, Ron has quite a group of friends and supporters.

      Have a great week.

      Delete
  3. Think I'll decide my vote this time around based on great hair. Nothing else seems to work or be accurate. :) Thanks for the great idea and this wonderful laugh! Hope you have an excellent day, Timothy. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most of the great Presidents have had great hair, even if they had to buy it.

      Thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  4. Heeheehee! Yes, i guess to be president now, you'd better have great hair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. America deserves a President with great hair.

      Delete
  5. We need a mustached president like Roosevelt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Men and mustaches like that of Teddy Roosevelt, don't come along often enough.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Politics certainly brings out some characters.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  7. Agent 54- we used to go by that car wash all the time in beautiful Chandler. I am so glad Ron isn't giving up. We need him more than ever now. Another great post, Tim!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much. Yes, that is my neighborhood car wash.

      Delete
  8. If Ron had won the sound bites certainly would have been more entertaining. ;)

    Thanks for sharing on #FridayFrivolity

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes they sure would.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete