Sunday, July 26, 2015

Burgundy Visits Toronto,,,Uh,,,I mean Buffalo

   Agent 54 here again.  Well, Ron Burgundy has conceded the Presidential race.  It was a great race for Ron.  Let's take a look back at the fun we had on the campaign trail.

  Looks like the Burgundy Campaign is cranking it up again.  On the weekend they were in Toronto, Ontario Canada for the Buffalo Bills versus the Atlanta Falcons football game.  From there they, reluctantly, moved on to Buffalo, New York, USA.

Scene:   We catch up to most of the team in the lobby of “The Mansion on Delaware Avenue”.  It’s just after lunch and Ron, Joe B., John, Tim and Wendy are there.  They’re going over the campaign plans for the day and talking about the past weekend.

John:  Wow!  I still can’t get over that game.  34 / 31 in overtime.

Tim:  Yeah, real exciting, except for Bills fans.  That stadium, The Rogers Centere is incredible with the hotel built right into it.

Ron:  That whole city was amazing.  With the CN Tower and all.  We should be campaigning there.  Wendy, why aren’t we campaigning in the beautiful city of Toronto with those beautiful, healthy looking Torontasians.

Wendy:  Ron, you know it’s a different country.  Those Torontonaughts can’t vote for you.

Ron:  That’s nonsense!  This is a free continent and the Trontosians should be able to vote for whoever they want.   When I’m President I’ll fix this deplorable situation.

Wendy:  What are you gonna do, annex the Canadian City of Toronto?  Good luck, President Polk.

Ron:  This is no joke!  Those Torontagans deserve an American President and I don’t even do the polka.

Tim:  (under his breath)  Yeah, look how much good American Presidents have done for Detroit.

Ron:  What was that, Tim?  Why don’t you save your smartass remarks for your space alien buddies.

Tim:  Man, take a nap on a bus and they never let you forget it.  I’m going outside.

Tim gets up and walks out into the parking lot to smoke a small cigar.

John:  You know I’m writing a snappy new song.  “The Torontotula Polka”.

Wendy:  Out!

John:  I think I’ll go make sure Tim doesn’t disappear again.

John joins Tim on a smoke break but, does not light up.  Wendy and Ron look at Joe B. who silently smiles.

Wendy:  Alright, now when the Canadian Limo gets here, we’re,,,

Joe B.:  (Interrupting)  Canadian Limo?  You mean we’re going by dogsled?

Wendy stares bullets at Joe B.

Joe B.:  I better check on Tim and John.

Scene:  Joe B. Joins Tim and John in the parking lot.

Niagara Falls
Tim:  (to Joe B.)  Those two Torontonuttballs kick you out too?

Joe B.:  Wendy said she got a Canadian Limo and,,,

John:  (interrupting)  What, we’re going by dogsled? 

Tim:  I’m having a blast on this trip.  Gimme fist pump.

The men awkwardly fist pump each other and some of the fists sorta explode.  Back inside the hotel lobby, Wendy tries again to get the campaign back on track.

Wendy:  Ron, the limo takes us to Niagara Falls for some picture taking.  Right now, your hair is a work of art.  Keep it that way!

Ron:  Yes Dear.

Wendy:  After that, we’re going to Elmwood Village for some Christmas shopping for the best campaign manager ever.

Ron:  Absolutely, (tapping his inside pocket) and I’ve got my prepared remarks about the Christmas Lights Controversy in my jacket pocket.

Canadian Limo
Scene:  A white van pulls up in front of the hotel with “Canada Limousine Service” painted on it.  At the same time, campaign volunteer Maureen pops into the hotel lobby from the elevator.

Maureen:  Good morning.

Wendy:  Morning?  It’s 1:10 pm princess.  Let’s go.  The Canadian Limo is here and,,,

Maureen:  (interrupting)  Wait, we’re going by dogsled?


  1. They must all have the same joke writer! Heeheehee!

  2. Bwahahahahahaha. This is brilliant. Hope you don't have too many Canadian visitors though. They might take offense about the Limo.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

    1. I love Canucks. I skated with them for 19 years. They're the ones who told me that joke.

      Thanks for all your support and have a great week.

  3. LOL & this line cracked e up

    The men awkwardly fist pump each other and some of the fists sorta explode

    Have a limotastic day :-)

  4. Brilliant! Thanks for sharing and linking up to #AnythingGoes Janet

    1. Thank you. If you're ever in Toronto,,,well,,I'll be in Arizona.

      Thanks for playing.

  5. Haha great minds think alike. I guess they all want to go by dogsled. And what is up with that guy wanting to annex Toronto into the country? Very funny post.

    1. So glad you enjoyed it.

      Thanks for playing.

  6. Ron Burgandy for President. He has the brains, the hair, what's not to love about Ron #sharethejoy

    1. He was leading in the polls for a micro-second.

      Thanks for playing.