
We at the NSA are “under orders” to keep the Ron Burgundy Campaign under close scrutiny. We have to know where Ron is at all times. Today Ron’s campaign bus rolled into Sedona Arizona. I wonder what kind of whackos and weirdoes he’ll encounter there. Let’s see:
Scene: Ron Burgundy and his campaign staff have just
finished lunch and the Cowboy Club and they are walking towards the campaign
bus.
Ron: (to campaign Chairman The Only Wendy Shade) Great
Oden’s Raven, those Bison burgers are good.
Wendy: Oh yeah, especially when you get it really
rare.
Ron: That’s right you like your meat mooing. Do Bison moo?
Wendy: I believe Bison bark.
Finance
Director/Spiritual Adviser Howard joins the conversation.
Howard: I think Bison grunt, well it depends, you
know anything will bark when you stick it with an electric cattle prod.
Ron: Howard, you know I asked you to leave the
cattle prod at home.
Howard: I did leave it home. I’m just sayin.
Ron: Because you know what happened last
time. We don’t have that kind of bail
money with us on this trip.
Stopping
next to the campaign bus, Wendy tries to take charge of the conversation.
Wendy: Boys, Let’s go over this afternoon’s
agenda. First we are going to find
Melinda Leslie at the Center for the New Age so she can tell Ron about her
“UFO” experience.
Ron: Yeah, she met a real space alien.
Wendy: Yeah, sure she did.
Howard: You know as your Spiritual Adviser I’d advise
you Ron, not to say that out loud.
Ron: What?
Everyone knows that UFOs come to Sedona all the time.
Wendy: Whatever!
Can we get back to the schedule now?
Ron: And, how about that Vortex. I felt it.
Didn’t you feel a tingle in your legs?
Wendy: I felt a pain in my ass. Ron!,
after the psycho alien lady, you have to go the Chapel of the Holy Cross and
get a picture taken with the pastor.
Ron: Great, come all the way to Sedona to get
stuck in church.
Howard and Wendy
together: RON!
Ron: Hey, that’s Cher!
Wendy: No its not, now let’s get,,,
Howard:
(interrupting) I think that was Cher.
Ron: Yeah, it was and she went into that little
shop. Let’s go say hello to Cher.
Wendy: Ron, no, we have a campaign,,,
Ron starts
jogging toward the little shop. Howard
is caught in the middle. (should I stay or should I go?)
Ron: I’m just going to say hello. Be back in 2
minutes.
Wendy:
(grinding her teeth) Fine! I’ll be on the bus when you want to get
back to the campaign, children.
![]() |
Cher |
Ron pops
into the little shop to see Cher casually shopping.
Ron: Cher, I thought it was you.
Cher: Oh, hi, please no autographs, I just want to
do a little shopping by myself.
Ron: Oh, I’m not a fan. I mean, uh I’m a fan but, I don’t want your
autograph.
Cher: Gee thanks!
Ron: No, what I meant is that uh, well, I’m Ron
Burgundy and I’m running for President of the United States of America.
Howard comes
through the door.
Howard: It was Cher!
Or, uh it is Cher. Uh hi Cher.
Cher: (to Ron) Is he a friend of yours?
Ron: Yes, actually he’s my Finance Director/Spiritual Adviser.
Cher: That explains it. So, what the heck is a Presidential candidate
doing in Sedona Arizona?

Cher: Wow, that actually sounds pretty cool.
Ron: Oh yeah, well I’m a pretty cool guy, uh candidate.
Cher: Yeah, and you’re a pretty cute guy and your
hair is a work of art. You know I have
some friends in the Sinagua tribe and they are having a ceremonial dance
tonight. Why don’t I pick you up around
10:00. I’ll take you to a place where
you can really learn about the people of America before it ever was America.
Ron: Really?
I’d love to. That was 10pm, right?
Cher: Yeah, uh, 10pm. Where can I pick you up?
Ron: I’ll be on the campaign bus parked right out
there. It’s a big ole campaign bus with flags
and my picture on it. You can’t miss it. Great Caesar’s
Ghost! My Campaign Chairman, Wendy is going kill me. I’ve got to get back to the campaign.
Ron hurries
to the door and has to push a mesmerized Howard through it.
Ron: (over
his shoulder) It was nice to meet you Cher.
See you at 10.
LOL I go into a completely different world every week haha!
ReplyDeleteGood luck to Ron Burgundy & Cher on their date date LOL
Ahh Love. How long to you think they'll last together?
DeleteThanks for visiting.
No on Cher being the first lady. Just no, but this was mighty funny.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺
Yeah, I guess Cher wouldn't be my first choice. How about Sandra Bullock?
DeleteThanks for visiting.
So do you suppose if Cher were to become first lady that the presidential staff would be an assortment of gypsies tramps and thieves?
ReplyDeleteThat sounds likely. Stay tuned for updates to this story.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Now you have me wondering how that date turned out! And of course I had to look up what kind of sound a bison makes! Thanks for sharing with us at The Blogger's Pit Stop!
ReplyDeleteWell, you can check out this to find out what happens to Ron & Cher: https://agent54nsa.blogspot.com/2015/09/burgundy-campaign-bus-breakdown.html
Delete