Agent 54 : Is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. He works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. He reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Sunday, August 30, 2015
here again. I woke up several hours ago
in nurse Ducttaper’s office at the NSA under the DORD with a headache and
couple of my buddies looking at me like I was a museum exhibit. Apparently, I had lost some of my short term
memory of why I was there and what happened.
The Weirdness was just beginning.
Scene: Nurse Ducttaper’s office.
Idol: Hey, you’re awake you wanker. You scared me a bit.
Flo: Yeah, you have a nice nap?
54: What the hell? Ahh,
who hit me with a bat?
Ducttaper: You’re gonna be alright there
sleeping beauty. Here, put this ice bag
on your noggin and take it easy.
sits up on the cot in the nurses office, holding the ice bag to the back of his
Agent 54: Well, is somebody going to tell me what
happened or do I have to wait for Inspector Gadget’s report?
Flo: Don’t you remember?
54: I remember we had a meeting for some dumb-ass Team Building thing.
Idol: Wadda ya remember about the
54: I remember donuts.
Idol: Oh man! We gotta show you the tape! It was hilarious!
Agent 54 might not think it was so funny.
Idol: Oh, yeah, right, no offense.
54: What was funny? What did you guys do?
Idol: Hey, it wasn’t my idea. It was all The Joker from the start.
Ducttaper: That’s enough, you two
troublemakers. Agent 54 needs to
rest. You all can show him the video of
the accident later.
Flo: (under her breath) Accident my ass.
Scene: In the group viewing room a bunch of us are
watching the surveillance tape of the Team Building meeting. The video is showing an exercise where five of
us stand up in a circle with our eyes closed.
We are instructed to just lean back on the count of three and that one
of our “Teammates” will catch us. Nobody
can see which “Teammate” is behind them.
The exercise is supposed to build trust between “Teammates”. Guess who gets to have The Joker catch him?
Idol: I swear I didn’t know what The
Joker was up to. Look at his face. He looks normal.
54: Normal! He looks demented.
Idol: Well yeah, but, demented is normal
for that bloke.
John Rambo: Yeah, you never know what that guy’s thinkin.
54: Why did I draw The Joker? Rambo, how the heck did you get to catch Flo?
Rambo: Just luck, I guess.
As the video
progresses we hear the count down.
1,2,3,. As I start to lean back
The Joker swiftly steps out of the way.
Joker: Whoops, So sorry, Ha ha ha, ho ho
ho , now it’s time to go go go!
The video continues and as Agent 54 falls back and cracks his head on
the floor, we see The Joker bolting for the windows.
We can hear his psychotic, evil laughter as he unlatches his favorite
window and jumps out to make his escape across the lawn to his get-a-way car. Of course the whole video room is now howling
in laughter, except for one guy who is holding an ice bag on the back of his
54: Thanks a lot, you donkeys.
Flo: Oh, com’on.
You gotta admit, the video is great.
Idol: Yeah, we gotta send a copy to that
“America’s Dumbass Videos” show.
Gadget: Oh no my friends. This video is now “classified” and I’m
personally going to take a copy to the boss.
I should be able to get The Joker suspended for at least a week for you,
54: Great! I get a concussion and a goose egg on my dome
and he gets a vacation.
Rambo: Quit you’re bitchin. If that video gets out, you’ll be a star.
54: (sarcastically) Yeah, Thanks!
So, I guess the lesson learned there
is never trust a “Teammate” with a 40 year criminal record,,,or anyone else at
the NSA either.