Burgundy Campaign with Elvis in New Orleans

  Agent 54 here again.  Well, Ron Burgundy has conceded the race to President Elect Donald Trump.  It was a great race for Ron.  Let's take a look back at the fun we had on the campaign trail.  

  The Burgundy Campaign has been busy buzzing around the country and getting to know America and Americans.  This week they flew to New Orleans “The Most Haunted City in America” for some Halloween fun.  They’re staying at the Lafitte Guest House on Bourbon St. in the French Quarter.  We pick up the conversation between The Only Wendy Shade and Ron Burgundy in his room. 

Wendy is busy with paperwork while Ron is looking out the window at all the people on Bourbon St.

Wendy:   It sure will be nice sleeping in a hotel room instead of that stinky old campaign bus on this trip.

Ron:  My friends at the Crystal Springs Automatic car wash on 6001 Erie St. & Kyrene Rd. in Chandler, Arizona 85226 are going to completely clean the Campaign bus inside and out while we’re here in Norlins.  Nolins, Nahlens or however the heck they say it down here.

Wendy:   You just say New Orleans.  Don’t try to fool anyone that you are from around here.  It won’t work.  Just be yourself only,,,less so.

Ron:  Yes dear.

Wendy:   Knock it off.   Listen, I’ve got to go to the office and fax these documents to Howard and then I have to call about our costumes for the parties from my room and I’ve got to arrange  tickets for a Haunted History Tour for after dinner.  I’ll be back in about an hour and a half or so.  Why don’t you lock the door and lie down and try to rest before dinner.  We’re going to be meeting important people tonight and I don’t want you to be groggy.

Ron:  Yes deaaaa, The Only Wendy Shade.

Rolling her eyes, Wendy hurries out the door with an armful of documents and a laptop.  Ron goes to the bathroom.  When he returns, Ron has a visitor sitting in the chair, looking out the window.

Ron:  Great Galloping Ghosts! It’s Elvis Presley.  Nice to meet you.  I’m a big fan.

Elvis gets up and the two men shake hands.

Elvis:  Thank you, thank you very much.

Ron:   You are really looking well.  Tell me, what brings you to New Orleans?

Elvis:  Norlins has always been one of my favorite haunts.  Lots of great music and food and I dig the whole creole vibe.

Ron:  Oh yeah.  I’m looking forward to exploring all that cultural stuff over the next few days with my campaign staff.  We’re gonna take a Haunted History Tour later and see some creepy stuff like the cemeteries where they don’t bury the dead.  They keep them in vaults above ground.

Elvis:  Man, that ain’t creepy.   “Cities of the Dead” are places where people come to commune and party with their passed loved ones.  People on both sides really dig it.  It’s very cool.

Ron:  Wow, it sounds cool.  Hey, we’re planning on visiting Graceland when we go campaigning in Memphis.

Elvis:  Cool man, I’ll see you there.  Say, I’ve watched your campaign.  Why you want to be President anyway, man?

Ron:  This great country is starving for leadership and I want to feed it.

Elvis:  Yeah man, that’s what Wendy told you to say but, I want to hear it from you.  Why do it?

Ron:   Well, for years I’ve thought that I was, you know, quote a pretty big deal but, then someone showed me that I really hadn’t done much in my whole life for anyone else.  So, when someone suggested that I had Presidential hair, I thought this was a way to really do something good for other people.

Elvis:  Now that’s what I’m takin about dadio.  Ron, you got my vote and I’ll get all my friends to vote for you too.

The Only Wendy Shade bursts into the room in a terrific hurry.

Wendy:   I forgot some of the Tax documents,  Ron you didn’t lock the door.

Ron:   Wendy!  Wendy, I’d like you to meet Elvis Presley.

Ron points to where Elvis was but, nobody is there.

Wendy:   (looking down her reading glasses) Yeah, I’d like to meet Elvis someday but, not today, I’m too busy.

Ron:  (flustered)  Where?  What?  Wendy he was here a minute ago.  He must have slipped out the door when you came in.

Wendy:   Sure Ron.  Did you get him to vote for us?

Ron:  As a matter of fact, I did and he said he’d get all his friends to vote for me too.

Wendy:   Great, now we just have to figure out how to get “his friends” to the polls.  There it is!  Okay, I gotta finish what I was doin.  You!  Lock door, lie down.

Ron:  Yes Wendy.

Wendy hurries out the door, documents in hand.  Outside she pauses to think. “Ron’s talking to ghosts, maybe I’ve pushed him too hard, maybe he’s too stressed out.  We should try to relax and have a little fun here in New Orleans.”

Inside his room Ron thinks “Wendy is really too busy, maybe I’ve pushed her too hard, maybe she’s too stressed out.  We should try to relax and have a little fun here in New Orleans.”

Wow, how cool was that!  Ron Burgundy has picked up the endorsement of Elvis Presley.  Could the "Rat Pack" be next?