Agent 54 is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. Agent 54 works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. Agent 54 reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Ron Burgundy Salutes the Troops and Veterans
Agent 54 here again. Well, Ron Burgundy has conceded the Presidential race. It was a great race for Ron. Let's take a look back at the fun we had on the campaign trail. We drop in on Ron Burgundy in his home town
of San Diego with CAN campaign reporter Blitzed Wolfer. Let’s see what they are up to.
Wolfer: Hello everyone, I’m Blitzed
Wolfer with CAN the Cable Ass Network and I’m here at the Marine Corps Recruit
Depot in San Diego California with 2016 Presidential Candidate Ron Burgundy. Ron, what are we doing here today?
Burgundy: Blitzed, we’re here to watch
about 480 brand new United States Marines graduate from USMC Basic Training or
“Boot Camp”. You know Blitzed, living
in San Diego, I sometimes come here to watch these graduation
ceremonies. It makes me feel good that
there are still so many fine young men who volunteer to become razor sharp
Marines so they can defend our freedom.
Blitzed: Indeed it is an awesome sight to see.
Ron: You know that today, November 10th
was the Marine Corps 241th Birthday and , November 11th
is Veterans day and it is also The Only Wendy Shade’s Birthday when I believe
she will be 29, again. Wendy’s father
was a Marine and she has a special love for Marines and Veterans. Campaign volunteer Tim is also a former
Marine and volunteers Howard and Joe B. are both Army veterans.
Blitzed: Yes, I noticed the Campaign volunteers aren’t
Ron: Right, we let the Campaign have a couple
weeks off to salute the Troops and Veterans and celebrate Thanksgiving with
their own families.
Blitzed: How’s the Campaign going, by the way?
Ron: Quite well, quite well. I’m meeting all kinds of,,,,Americans, from
all different walks of life. I went to
Fenway Park and saw the World Champion Red Sox. I’ve been tailgating in the Midwest and I’ve
eaten fresh Salmon in the Northwest and I may have had an alien encounter in
Blitzed: An alien encounter! What happened? Did you meet Spacemen? Did they beam you
up? Did you get probed? Please explain?
Ron: Oh heaven’s no! Uh, I was just kidding. In fact, forget I mentioned that. You know I met Cher in Sedona, Arizona.
Blitzed: I met Cher some time ago as I was covering
one of her tours. She still looks good
and she is very nice.
Ron: Yes she is.
Very nice. Very, very nice. Super nice.
Hey! We were in St. Louis and we learned all about junk. I met a possible new Junk Czar or maybe
General for my administration.
Blitzed: That’s great.
So what are your immediate plans?
Ron: When I leave here I’m going over to the USS
Midway which is docked here. They’ve turned
it into a floating museum and there is all kinds of military history to learn
there. It’s really neat to be on a WWII
vintage Aircraft Carrier.
Blitzed: I’ve seen the ship but, I haven’t visited it
Ron: We should go together. You know usually there are many vintage
aircraft on the flight deck but, they can set it up the for banquet events and
they even had a flag football game for charity on-board.
Blitzed: Sounds great.
There really is so much to see and do here.
Ron: Taking a harbor tour is fun too. You go out on nice tour boat and you see all
the docked warships that they are working on .
There are Submarines, Aircraft Carriers, Destroyers and secret robot ships. Don’t bother looking for the “Stealth
Cruiser”. You can’t see it. Did you see the statue of “The Kiss” next to
the USS Midway?
Blitzed: No, I guess I missed that.
Ron: It’s a big statue of that picture of a Sailor
kissing a nurse after Japan surrendered in 1945. It was in all the papers back then.
Blitzed: Well, now I have to go see it. As we wrap this interview up Ron, what would
you like to say to the people?
Ron: I want to thank all the Troops and their
families from all the different service branches and all the Veterans for their
selfless sacrifices. Your fellow citizens
do appreciate what you are doing and what you have done. We are aware that Freedom isn’t Free and you
great guys and gals have paid or are paying the price and we can’t thank you
enough for that.
Blitzed: Well said.
That’s it from San Diego. I’m
Blitzed Wolfer with Ron Burgundy on the campaign trail for CAN.