Sunday, January 17, 2016

The Warrior’s Studio, with Blitzed Wolfer Vol. III

AJ "Buckehead" Smith
  Agent 54 here again.   I’m very uh, happy and somewhat surprised to bring you the third episode of Blitzed Wolfer’s new interview series, The Warrior’s Studio.  As you may have noticed, it’s not going real well yet but, Blitzed Wolfer is hoping it’s just the learning curve.  Here’s my latest report from the (CAN) Cable Ass Network studio.

Blitzed Wolfer:  Welcome everyone to the third episode of The Warrior’s Studio.  I’m Blitzed Wolfer and today’s guest is AJ “Buckethead” Smith who has worked as a Radioman on several Rebel Alliance ships.

Audience:  Polite applause for “Buckethead”.

Buckethead:  Thanks Blitzed but, I’m not a Radioman.  I’m a Level 3 Communications Expert.  On the ship were referred to as Commie 3s.

Blitzed:  Oh, Commie 3s?  Why don’t you then wear a Red helmet?  (chuckling).

Buckethead:  Uh, I hope this is not supposed to be a comedy show.

Blitzed:  No, I apologize, I don’t know what’s gotten in to me.  Please tell me what ship are you currently serving on? 

Bob
Buckethead:  Yeah, I’ve worked my way up to the MC80 Home One Type Star Cruiser named “Bob”.

Blitzed:  Bob?

Buckethead:  Affirmative.  Bob is so big that I don’t think they’re even done building it yet.  It has as many people on it as a small moon.

Blitzed:  But, why Bob?  Who was Bob?

Buckethead:  Bob was probably a guy named Robert. 

Blitzed:  That would make sense.  Let’s move on.  Tell me why you’re still wearing that magnificent helmet with the antennae even though you’re off duty.

Buckethead:  It is magnificent isn’t it.  Really puts the Bucket in ole “Buckethead”.  I just love wearing it.  In fact I don’t ever take it off.

Blitzed:  Never?

Buckethead:  Nah, with all the great electronic scanning devices build in, I can listen to anything in the Universe with this hat on.

Blitzed:  Anything?  What do you like to listen to?

Buckethead:  Cubs games.  Let’s go Cubbies!

Blitzed:  You mean the Chicago Cubs?  Aren’t they the baseball team that hasn’t won in over a 100 years.

Buckethead:  Back off there Blitzed!  They’re my favorite and besides, any team can have a bad Century or so.

Blitzed:  Okay but, you never take that helmet off?  I mean, don’t you have to wash it?  Wouldn’t you like to shampoo your hair?

Buckethead:  How do you know I have any hair?

Blitzed:  But, just for hygiene purposes, I mean your face is looking a little green and your eyes are kinda red.

Buckethead:  Yeah, well I just thought I’d smoke a doobie to relax before coming in here.  Hey don’t you want to know more about my job as a Warrior for the Rebel Alliance?

Blitzed:  In a minute but, I think my audience would like to see you without the helmet.

Buckethead:  Yeah, well too bad.  The helmet stays on.

Blitzed: (turning to the audience)  Don’t you want to see “Buckethead” without his bucket?

Audience:  (the half that are still awake, kinda moan and groan)  Mmmfm.

Buckethead:  Blitzed, let me guess, you’re not the ratings leader in this time slot, are you?

Blitzed:  Uh, no, far from it.  So, what exactly do you do aboard “Bob”?

Buckethead:  Okay, now we’re getting back on track.  I listen to the non-coded communications of the people on the ships of the Empire.

Blitzed:  Non-coded messages?  Don’t you listen to secret communications? 

Buckethead:  Nah, that’s what the Commie 5s and above do.

Blitzed:  So, what does the enemy say in their “non-coded” messages?

Buckethead:  Well, they mostly order a lot of Pizzas. A lot of Pizzas. Sometimes they switch it up and call Jimmy John’s but, most of the time, Pizzas.

Blitzed:  Fascinating, so what have you learned about the Empire by listening to them?

Buckethead:  The Empire loves Pepperoni.

Blitzed:  Amazing.  What else do they talk about?

Buckethead:  Sports betting.  A lot of them bet against the Cubs.  I hate those rich bastards.

Blitzed:  Yes, don’t we all.  Well, that’s all the time we have on The Warrior’s Studio for today.  Join us next week for another inside look at our Intergalactic Warriors.

Wow!  That was the best of the series so far.  I guess we might have figured that the Empire was fueled by Pepperoni.



To Cubs fans everywhere, may the force be with you. 

Congratulations to Cubs fans everywhere.  The Cubs are World Series Champions!


10 comments:

  1. I don't want to see his head after wearing that bucket all this time. I don't think I could take it.

    I do agree that the universe is fueled by pepperoni though. Why not.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, old Buckethead needs to flush out his head gear.

      I gotta go get a slice my self now.

      Have a pizza on me and thanks for playing.

      Delete
  2. Well that had me amused throughout LOL @ Cable Ass Network Studio

    Have a pepperonitastic day & thanks for reporting by :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for playing and have a slice on me.

      Delete
  3. Ahahahaha Bob was probably a guy named Robert... too funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would make sense.

      Thanks for playing. Please come back early and often.

      Delete
  4. My husband loves pepperoni pizza too! Thank you so much for sharing your gems and for your support! I'm pinning and sharing! All the best, Deborah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I live to make people laugh.

      Please come back early and often.

      Delete
  5. Ok now I'm smiling at the thought of a light saber slicing pepperoni. :) Thanks for sharing with us at Creatively Crafty #ccbg. Hope to see more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So happy you enjoyed my silly story.

      Thank you for allowing me to share.

      Delete