Spacebeard |
Blitzed Wolfer:
Welcome everyone to the fourth installment of The Warrior’s Studio. I’m your host, Blitzed Wolfer and it’s my
distinct pleasure to welcome the intergalactic swashbuckler, Spacebeard to the
studio today.
Audience:
Polite applause for Spacebeard.
Spacebeard:
Ahoy maties! Yo ho ho, it be great
to be here with ye land lubbers.
Blitzed: So,
I noticed you’re standing on your chair.
Is that due to your wooden leg?
Spacebeard:
Aye! Quite perceptive of ye there
matey. Yea, since I lost me leg I find sitting to be quite uncomfortable for me.
Blitzed: Oh,
did you lose your leg in a fierce battle with Empirical forces?
Spacebeard:
Arrrrgh! No, no it weren’t quite
like that.
Blitzed:
Well, please tell us how it happened.
I’m sure my audience would be fascinated to hear this story.
Spacebeard:
Arrrrgh! Very well then. One space day when I be just hangin out on me
Millennium Buzzard, arrrrgh, that’s me ship, with some Smelly Pirate Space
Hookers I,,,
Blitzed: (interrupting)
Wait! You hang out with Smelly Pirate
Space Hookers?
Spacebeard:
Aye! Why else would a man become
a Space Pirate?
Spacebeard:
Arrrrgh! Uh, No! That would be dumb. No, hanging out with Smelly Pirate Space
Hookers and enjoying tons of fine booty taken from the Empire are the only
reasons to become a Space Pirate.
Aye! That and to be yer own boss.
Blitzed: Very
interesting. Please tell us more about how
you take the booty from Darth Vader.
Spacebeard: Aye! Well, me ship, the Millennium Buzzard is equipped
with the latest electronic cloaking devices.
That allows us to be hiddin near the shipping lanes between the largest vessels
the Empire’s got and their space bases.
Ye may know that the Empire uses EMPEX (Empirical Express) to send
supplies from their bases to their largest star cruisers. Aye! Me
maties and I, we wait until the coast is clear, then we be apouncin, or I mean
we beam aboard the courier ships and yo ho ho, the booty is all ours.
Blitzed: Oh
my! That sounds terribly dangerous. Don’t the couriers have security aboard? Do they put up a good fight?
Spacebeard:
Arrrrgh! Hell no! That would be dumb. No, no we’ve taken care of them by cutting
them in for a share of the loot from the booty we be sellin on the black space
market.

Spacebeard: Yo
ho ho, hell no! We be far too small a
fly in the Empire’s ointment for them to catch us. Oh yeah, sometimes the lads on courier ships
have to fake injuries or even their own deaths but, I makes it worth it for
them. Darth don’t give a space rats ass
about them.
Blitzed: I
see. So, what kind of booty do you get
from the EMPEX ships?
Spacebeard:
Well, we be collectin lots of spare parts and electronics and weapons
for sellin on the black space market but, the booty me and me mates prizes the
most be the Pepperoni Pizzas.
Blitzed:
Fascinating! I had a previous
guest who told us the Empire loves Pepperoni Pizzas.
Spacebeard:
Aye! It be true! And Space Pirates love Pepperoni Pizzas
too. My mates and me, we’ve taken
millions of frozen space Pepperoni pies from the Empire over the years. Aye! I
even took the liberty to be fillin the mini fridge in yer green room with
stolen Pepperoni Pizzas, courtesy of Darth Vader.
Blitzed: Oh,
thank you. That was very kind of
you. Maybe I’ll take advantage of that
after this interview.
Spacebeard:
Aye! I’m a thinkin the two Smelly Pirate Space Hookers I brought with me
tonight might be enjoyin that too.
Blitzed: Wha,
wha, wait! You brought a couple of
Smelly Pirate Space Hookers with you?
Really? Can I meet them?
Spacebeard:
Aye! They be awaitin us in that
there green room ye got with the Pizzas and a few space brews. Tonight ye be like one of me crew. Ye be partying like a real proper Space
Pirate as soon as we wrap this up.
Blitzed: Oh
boy! Well I guess that’s all the time we
have. See ya later on the next episode
of The Warriors Studio.
Wow! Didn’t I tell you these interviews were
getting better and better. I’m sure this
one was Blitz’s favorite.
Bwahahahahahahahaha. I'm stuck on Millennium Buzzard. That made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteWatch out for those smelly pirate hookers.
Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺
Everybody loves Smelly Pirate Space Hookers.
DeleteThanks for playing. Have a great week.
Bloody hilarious do we get some of the pizza LOL
ReplyDeleteHave a tanfastic week :-)
I'll ask Spacebeard to leave some for you.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Heeheehee! That's just what i'd expect a Space Pirate to sound like!
ReplyDeleteThank you for laughing.
Deletelol too funny I so love the pirate character
ReplyDeletecome see us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com
Thank you for laughing.
DeleteFun...stumbled on this by accident. Will pass it along to my boys...I think they will enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Please come back early and often.
DeleteOMG what a fun Post, you had me on Smelly stinky hookers. Thanks for sharing at the Pit Stop!
ReplyDeletePit Stop Crew
Thank you for allowing me to share.
DeleteOh very funny! What an imagination you have! Thanks for joining the #weekendblogshare
ReplyDeleteThank you. It's fun. Thanks for allowing me to share.
DeleteSmelly pirate hookers! Everyday is like Christmas on your blog, Agent 54. I am always finding little gifts! This was very inventive combining Star Wars, Anchorman & Legos. So glad I ran into you in the blogosphere!
ReplyDeleteOh, you are too kind. I hope to be writing something new soon.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Hilarious, thanks for putting a smile on my face! Thanks for linking up to #BloggersBests
ReplyDeleteHappy to make you laugh. Thanks for visiting.
Delete