Clowning Around

Agent 54 here again.  My best friend, Howard tells this worn out old joke that goes:  If attacked by a group of clowns, go for the Jugular,  Yeah, I apologize. 

  Not everyone likes clowns but the one good thing you can say about all clowns is that they are not mimes.  There are good clowns and there are bad clowns. Unfortunately, bad clowns have recently become topical.  However, to lighten the situation, I’ve decided to rate my all-time favorite clowns,  See if you agree with my choices.

1.      Ronald McDonald :   Probably the best known clown, worldwide and generation to generation.  Everyone knows Ronald and associates him with eating delicious and nearly poisonous food.  Ron is rich enough to have me killed for saying what I just said.  Update 10/12/16:  Due to the current "Bad Clown" public relations situation, Ronald McDonald has agreed not to have me killed for this post.  Praise be to Odin. 

Freddie the Freeloader

2.     Bozo:   I don’t really understand why but, as a kid I used to love to watch Bozo the Clown on early morning TV.  I don’t remember him being funny, except for his huge red hairdo but, I couldn’t wait to see him.  Later people used his name to describe people who were screw-ups.  I don’t remember Bozo screwing anything up but, he must have been the king.

3.     Jack in the Box or just Jack:  Another restaurateur, I like Jack’s TV commercials.  They’re almost funny enough to forgive him for the horrible Tacos his restaurants sell.  ALMOST!

4.     Freddie the Freeloader:   Freddie was a character played by great, old-time comedian Red Skelton who seemed like a one- time high society type who was just a bit down on his luck.  Freddie was charming and everyone liked him but that same cigar he smoked for 40+ years stunk.

5.     The Joker:  The joker was my favorite bad and scary clown until he let me drop on my head during a Team Building exercise at my NSA under the DORD.  Never trust anyone with a 40 year criminal record.

Lying Brian Williams

6.     Brian Williams:   Williams was a newscaster on a large TV Network who always thought way too much of himself.  Brian would twist and fabricate stories and then feed them to the public as the truth.  Once the public caught on to Brian Williams and realized that he was so full of bullshit he could fertilize all the farms in all 57 states, his name became synonymous with lies and deception.  Appropriately, Williams wound up doing comedy at MSNBC where he still spreads the bull like it’s going out of style.

  So, that’s my list.  Are some of your favorites on there too.  Let me know who’s on your list of favorite clowns and remember to always leave’em laughing.