Sunday, October 23, 2016

Shifting Alliances

  Agent 54 here again.  While I was carelessly watching football and baseball on my TV, I noticed some Shifting Alliances that made me curious.  When I brought these concerns up with my wife, she made me feel like I was the only one in the world who cared or even noticed these things.  Is that true?  Am I alone?  Do I need psychotherapy?  Let me explain before you answer these questions or before you send the guys in the white jump suits with the big butterfly nets and strait  jackets again. 
  
  I have long thought it was very odd that The General of General Car Insurance ran around with a Penguin for a pal.  Though Penguins are an up and coming species and may someday challenge Cats for WorldDomination of this puny planet, my thoughts were “What the heck do Penguins have to do with Car Insurance”?  Penguins don’t drive.  In fact, Penguins come from the South Pole.  Most of them have never even seen a car and they certainly don’t buy Insurance.  I’m sure there are damn few of them that could even hold a job.  Why a Penguin?

  The mystery deepened as I began to notice that The General did not treat the Penguin very well.  For years The General used the Penguin for a prop and never let him speak or fed him.  Then I saw The General driving his snazzy red Corvette without his usual buddy the Penguin in the passenger seat.  Did anyone else notice the sounds of kicking coming from the trunk of the Corvette?  I don’t care if The General had to clean Penguin poop from the passenger seat, locking him in the trunk was just plain wrong and I have a good mind to call PETA on his ass.

Shaq & The General
  The next thing you know, Shaquille O’Neal (Shaq) is riding shotgun with the General and has speaking parts in his advertisements.  It appears that The General had thrown the Penguin under the red Corvette.  I do like Shaq because he knows from funny but, he’s no Penguin and he should have had more respect than to break-up the General-Penguin team.

  Before you start to cry for the Penguin, let me tell you the good news.  In the most important and accurate article The New York Times has ever published, it was announced that the Penguin had landed a new gig as Winnie the Pooh’s new buddy and had even been given a cool new name, “Winter”.  There’s no word yet about the question of is “Winter” going to get a speaking part in his new roll or if eventually Pooh-bear (he is a bear, you know) will eat the penguin (a stunt penguin, of course).  Never the less, I was happy that the Penguin landed on his happy feet and I wish him well.

Winnie the Pooh & Winter
However, as usual, my examination of this subject has left me with more questions than answers like:  If the 7’1” tall former NBA MVP, Shaq is mistreated by The General, will Shaq stuff him into his own helmet and punt him off the Santa Monica pier into the middle of the Pacific Ocean?  Will Winnie the Pooh’s new buddy, Winter convince the bear to become a vegetarian?  Is the New York Times good for anything other than Penguin cage liner?  And finally, does anyone other than me give a crap?


What do you think?

38 comments:

  1. we dont have General Car Insurance here...

    ...but your comment on penguins not buying insurance made me laugh :)

    As an ex insurance type person (I have a theory that you have to be an interesting person to do a boring job) that Lloyds have missed a trick on offering "global warming" insurance to animals in the north and south poles :)

    LOL mind you how would they pay their insurance premiums? I suppose it could be in fish! "yes sir, that will be 36 fish and one tail including tax"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe I misunderestimated the penguins.

      Thank you for playing.

      Delete
  2. No the New York Times is only good for lining a cage. You nailed that one.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was an easy one.

      Thanks for playing and have a great week.

      Delete
  3. I must be snoozing during commercials, I don't remember the penguin, but your questions are certainly fair. I am familiar with Shaq in the new commercials, for some reason really big people are always funny.

    I guess penguins are just liked by everyone. SHow me a person who doesn't like penguins and I'll show you someone who has to clean their poop in the zoo.

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    1. Very interesting perspective. Maybe Penguins do have a chance to overtake Cats as the dominant species on Earth.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  4. No way could the General's body be crammed fully into his helmet for punting by Shaq. No way. His foo is too bushy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, his bushy foo may save his life in the end.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  5. Agent 54- You are extremely perceptive & observant. That is why they pay you the big bucks. I also noticed the penguin's departure. I just figured he was living the good life in Tierra Del Fuego & that Shaq needed something to do. I hope everything works out for Winter. I do know that if the General makes a move to take out Shaq, he will just take him out with some Shaq Fu. After all, he is a trained sheriff. Very funny post, like usual! 😆

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! Shaq Fu.

      Thank you for your comments and support.

      Delete
  6. Heeheehee! Shaq does have some moves, and Pooh does need a new friend. Good for the penguin, landing that gig!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm sure Winter will do well if he can convince Pooh Bear to become a vegetarian.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  7. hi timothy hecht your blog is interesting keep it up the good work i also have a blog that you can visit it if you want and tell me what you think about it
    https://iloseweightfast.blogspot.com/
    Thank you have a nice day (y)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Obviously I have no idea what you are on about. We have a car insurance ad where a statue called Harry talks to a seagull called Stephen. An unlikely friendship since seagulls tend to crap on statues. Who writes this stuff anyway?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I should be writing it. I could get a better deal for Harry.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  9. Doesn't only eating honey already qualify Pooh as a vegetarian? I think Winter is safe. Too bad the penguin could get a job like the gekko has. If only he had a British accent.

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    Replies
    1. I hope you are right, for the penguin's sake.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  10. I don't know of this advert, but you have addressed some very real and worrying issues here...! Your perception is clearly more acute than the average person, and although the penguin has now been transferred to the safer role as Winnie's bestie, the points you have raised still make me concerned for his well being. Please keep us informed of your findings!!
    #bigpinklink

    ReplyDelete
  11. Am I supposed to make the new G+ account it's telling me to make when I G plus this... even though I've had one there since I started five years ago...??? Onesunsamplerbook.blogspot.com /hot DT DFF lightcollective DEW ????

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  12. Hello there Agent 54. We have a penguin in an advert here for British Gas. It is a very cute penguin and they are always kind to it; I suspect they fear the RSPCA changing gas supplier should they mistreat the little chap. Please don't worry about Winter. Pooh is a bear of little brain, and as such has a diet that consists only of honey. I do worry about the whereabout of Piglet though. #WeekendBlogShare

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    Replies
    1. Ah yes, where is little Piglet?

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  13. I had no idea penguins were so hard up for work. #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the Obama recovery.

      Thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  14. LOL!! Too funny....Thanks for sharing at TaDa Thursday!!

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  15. Thanks for linking up to #weekendblogshare

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My pleasure. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Delete
  16. Hi Agent 54,
    Look, it's you, Winnie the Poo, and Shaq at the Linky Party.
    Thanks for bringing your post to last week's Pit Stop.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you again for allowing me to share.

      Delete
  17. What an interesting read. I have never doubted penguin would be out of work. ;) lol!

    Thank you for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

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  18. It's a tough gig for penguins these days - I bet the polar bears don't get these troubles! :D Thanks so much for sharing over at Friday Frivolity!

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  19. Is there a position in the new Trump administration for Shaq or The General or the penguin?

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