Sunday, November 6, 2016

The Rubbish Ranger versus Foilman


MACA!  Make America Clean Again

  Agent 54 here again.  Everyone knows that on my days off I like to get up early and clean-up my neighborhood by picking up trash using a plastic bag and my grabber stick ($19.97 at Home Depot).  I had an interesting encounter with a kindred spirit, sorta, yesterday while out doing my thing.  Here’s my report on my conversation with Foilman.

Scene:   Agent 54 is walking down his street with his grabber stick and a plastic bag.  A character is walking towards me who also has a grabber stick and plastic bag.  This person is wearing a red-colored eye mask, red cape and a blue t-shirt with a red F on it.

Agent 54:  Good morning.  Uh, whatcha doin?

Foilman:  Isn’t it obvious?  I’m Foilman!  I’m saving the environment by collecting foil, cans and other aluminum debris from the streets of this fair city.  Who are you and what are you doing, citizen?


$19.97 at Home Depot
Agent 54:  Uh, well, I’m just picking up trash in my neighborhood.  I’m Agent 54.  I mean that’s my nom de plume but, when I’m doing this I think of myself as The Rubbish Ranger.

Foilman:  Nam de what?  Sounds like you’re a little confused.  I hope you are recycling the aluminum cans you’re picking up.  You too can save the environment by recycling and helping to make the most of the earth’s resources.  You are recycling, aren’t you Mr. Rubbish?

Agent 54:  No, it’s, no, just call me Agent 54.  That’s the name I use for my blog because of my part-time job.  I do recycle at home.

Foilman:  And what about the aluminum trash you pick-up?  Do you know that Americans discard a billion tons of aluminum every day.   What will you drink your beer from when the earth runs out of aluminum?

Agent 54:  Huh, I don’t drink beer and where did you get that number.  Sounds like fuzzy math to me.  And another thing, what’s with the Halloween costume?  You’re not trying to get any attention or anything are you?

Foilman:  Hah! This outfit is smart and perfectly appropriate for an environmental Superhero.  I wouldn’t criticize anyone else’s apparel when you, yourself look like you are dressed for a felony.  Just because you call yourself Mr. Rubbish doesn’t mean you have to wear it.

Jr. Rubbish Rangers in training
Agent 54:  I told you to call me Agent 54 and I wouldn’t make fun of anyone else’s name with a greasy name like Foilman?  I mean really.  Foilman – Oilman?  What the heck?  And don’t you mostly pick-up cans?  What about Canman or The Canister? 

Foilman:  Now see here, I come from a long line of…

Agent 54:  (Interrupting).  Wait a minute!  What the heck are we doing here?  I didn’t come out to get into a pissing contest with you.  I actually admire what you do.  We are both protecting the environment in our own way on our time off work.

Foilman:  Yes, well, you do have a point except all my time is time off work.  I just like to use the extra money I get from selling the scrap aluminum to buy cigars.

Agent 54:  There you go, cigars!  I love a good cigar.  Hey! Are you saying you don’t work?

Foilman:  Correct.  I haven’t had to work for many years.

Agent 54:  How’d you pull that off?

Foilman:  I made some very smart investments when I first started working.  They have paid off quite handsomely .

Agent 54:  Well, spill the beans.  Who’d you invest in.

Foilman:  Well, if you insist, it was Waste Management.
Agent 54:  I should have known.  Alright, I’m getting hungry now.  I’m gonna go home for some chow.  You know, we’re both on the same team here.  We should be friends. (Agent 54 puts his hand out for shaking.)
Foilman:  (reluctantly shaking Agent 54’s hand)  Yes, I suppose we are on a similar mission though mine is much more thought out and  makes much more sense on many levels.  Maybe we should get together for a cigar sometime, sometime when you’re dressed more appropriately.
Agent 54:  (taken aback and turning to go and under his breath)  Don’t count on it.

Darth Ranger
So, who’s side are you on?  Foilman or The Rubbish Ranger?


PS:  Today (11/12/166) I ran into a woman who calls herself "The Litter Gitter".  She was on a nice Tricycle with baskets and she had her grabbers stick and a bag for her recycling.  The Litter Gitter said she takes the money from the aluminum she recycles and donates it to her church.  I'm glad there are other civic minded people out there like The Rubbish Ranger and Foilman.

34 comments:

  1. The Rubbish Ranger of course, also known as Agent 54. This was a very interesting tale of two very unlike individuals. I think the Foilman has gone of the rails.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe but, at least we can admire his public spirit.

      Thanks for playing and commenting.

      Delete
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  2. Im with the rubbish ranger too...

    ...I have a (funnyish tin can story)...

    ...when me & James started living together we saw an advert saying that if you took your empty aluminium tin cans to a local store they would pay you 50p per pound (or something) so we were drinking cheap cola from cans and we had a whole black sack full of them.

    So we went to where the person was who was collecting the cans for him to put his magnet in and (yes you guessed it all of our cans were steel and worthless) I think he gave us 50p because he felt sorry for us :).

    I think he even gave us a magnet too so we could test them in future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's interesting. I don't know what they are paying for aluminum now. I've heard it is declining.

      Thanks for your support.

      Delete
    2. I dont think they pay for it anymore (not here in the UK anyway) Im talking way back in 1995! :)

      Delete
  3. Both are on the side of good, and you both enjoy a good cigar so I can't take sides except I don't believe the billion tons a day stat and I seldom trust anyone with a cape so I guess I lean to Rubbish Ranger (aka agent 54)!

    ReplyDelete
  4. all is good-but Rubbish Ranger is my pick have a good week

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for supporting The Rubbish Ranger.

      Delete
  5. Of course, I am on team Rubbish Ranger. You are attired more appropriately for picking up refuse. I do like the message in your humor. Despite our differences, we have similarities. Well done! As always, great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for joining Team Rubbish Ranger.

      Thanks for all your support.

      Delete
  6. Rubbish Ranger, i like what you do. When you get that rubbish back home, i'm sure you do recycle whatever can be recycled, but you also picked up plain garbage. That means you are much more selfless than Foilman. He only grabs what will make him some dough. Bad form, that's what that is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, at least Foilman is doing something. Thanks for joining Team Rubbish Ranger.

      Delete
  7. Hmm...tapping my finger on this desk...this might take my brain a bit to weigh the pros and cons...Linda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Choose wisely for the fate of the planet may rest on your decision.

      Let's get together for a cigar sometime.

      Delete
  8. You need an Avengers style alliance. You'd all need a cool name though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An Environmental alliance. Very Interesting.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  9. Definitely The Rubbish Ranger! #WeekendBlogShare

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm all for recycling, but Foilman kind of sounds like a wanker. ha ha #fabfridaypost

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I admire what he does, even if he's a jerk.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete
  11. Go Rubbish Rangers! Nice one Agent 54! Sarah #FabFridayPost

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome to the team and thank you for commenting.

      Delete
  12. Foilman has that annoying holier-than-thou attitude, RR all the way!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. You are a great addition to the team.

      Delete
  13. I really like this light hearted post. It is really clever and made me smile too. I needed that. Thanks. Thank you for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

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  14. Ha! This is my first time to your site. I love your humor and quirkiness! A very noble way to spend your weekend, I might add. #fabfridaypost

    ReplyDelete
  15. So happy to see people cleaning up the environment!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, if we want a clean environment, we have to do something about it.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete