Agent 54 : Is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. He works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. He reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Sunday, November 6, 2016
The Rubbish Ranger versus Foilman
here again. Everyone knows that on my
days off I like to get up early and clean-up my neighborhood by picking up
trash using a plastic bag and my grabber stick ($19.97 at Home Depot). I had an interesting encounter with a kindred
spirit, sorta, yesterday while out doing my thing. Here’s my report on my conversation with Foilman.
54 is walking down his street with his grabber stick and a plastic bag. A character is walking towards me who also
has a grabber stick and plastic bag.
This person is wearing a red-colored eye mask, red cape and a blue
t-shirt with a red F on it.
Good morning. Uh, whatcha doin?
it obvious? I’m Foilman! I’m saving the environment by collecting
foil, cans and other aluminum debris from the streets of this fair city. Who are you and what are you doing, citizen?
$19.97 at Home Depot
Agent 54: Uh,
well, I’m just picking up trash in my neighborhood. I’m Agent 54.
I mean that’s my nom de plume but, when I’m doing this I think of myself
as The Rubbish Ranger.
de what? Sounds like you’re a little
confused. I hope you are recycling the
aluminum cans you’re picking up. You too
can save the environment by recycling and helping to make the most of the earth’s
resources. You are recycling, aren’t you
Agent 54: No,
it’s, no, just call me Agent 54. That’s
the name I use for my blog because of my part-time job. I do recycle at home.
what about the aluminum trash you pick-up?
Do you know that Americans discard a billion tons of aluminum every day.
What will you drink your beer from when
the earth runs out of aluminum?
Huh, I don’t drink beer and where did you get that number. Sounds like fuzzy math to me. And another thing, what’s with the Halloween costume? You’re not trying to get any attention or
anything are you?
This outfit is smart and perfectly appropriate for an environmental Superhero. I wouldn’t criticize anyone else’s apparel when
you, yourself look like you are dressed for a felony. Just because you call yourself Mr. Rubbish
doesn’t mean you have to wear it.
Jr. Rubbish Rangers in training
Agent 54: I
told you to call me Agent 54 and I wouldn’t make fun of anyone else’s name with
a greasy name like Foilman? I mean
really. Foilman – Oilman? What the heck? And don’t you mostly pick-up cans? What about Canman or The Canister?
see here, I come from a long line of…
Agent 54: (Interrupting). Wait a minute! What the heck are we doing here? I didn’t come out to get into a pissing contest
with you. I actually admire what you
do. We are both protecting the
environment in our own way on our time off work.
well, you do have a point except all my time is time off work. I just like to use the extra money I get from
selling the scrap aluminum to buy cigars.
There you go, cigars! I love a
good cigar. Hey! Are you saying you don’t
Correct. I haven’t had to work
for many years.
Agent 54: How’d
you pull that off?
made some very smart investments when I first started working. They have paid off quite handsomely .
Well, spill the beans. Who’d you
Well, if you insist, it was Waste Management.
Agent 54: I should have known. Alright, I’m getting hungry now. I’m gonna go home for some chow. You know, we’re both on the same team
here. We should be friends. (Agent 54
puts his hand out for shaking.)
Foilman: (reluctantly shaking Agent 54’s hand) Yes, I suppose we are on a similar mission
though mine is much more thought out and
makes much more sense on many levels.
Maybe we should get together for a cigar sometime, sometime when you’re
dressed more appropriately.
Agent 54: (taken aback and turning to go and under his
breath) Don’t count on it.
who’s side are you on?Foilman or The
PS: Today (11/12/166) I ran into a woman who calls herself "The Litter Gitter". She was on a nice Tricycle with baskets and she had her grabbers stick and a bag for her recycling. The Litter Gitter said she takes the money from the aluminum she recycles and donates it to her church. I'm glad there are other civic minded people out there like The Rubbish Ranger and Foilman.