Agent 54 is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. Agent 54 works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. Agent 54 reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
The Warrior’s Studio, with Blitzed Wolfer Vol. VI
Agent 54 here again.
I have really enjoyed Blitzed Wolfer’s series of interviews with his
intergalactic warrior guests. Let’s
check out the latest episode.
Thank you for joining me today for The Warrior’s Studio. Can you believe it’s our 6th
show? Ah, where does the time go? This week we have Leonard Vader of The Evil
Empire for you.
Mild mix of boos and clapping.
High Blitzed. It’s good to be
I understand that you are related to Darth Vader himself. What’s that like?
it’s pretty cool. Uncle Darth is pretty
busy most of the time but, we still find time to watch NFL football games together
Really. Fascinating. Tell us, what is Darth Vader’s favorite team?
the Oakland Raiders of course.
should have known. So, I have heard that
you work for your uncle.
Darth and Leonard at Raiders Game
That’s right. I’m in the Empire’s
Public Relations department. By the way
Blitzed, you introduced me as being of The Evil Empire. We prefer just The Empire. We don’t see ourselves as evil. Sure we’re firm but, I think we’ve been
misunderstood and poorly represented in the main stream media.
Firm? You guys created a “Death
Star” that destroys planets. That’s more
than a bit firm, don’t ya think.
Well, when you are trying to bring order to the chaos of some rebel
controlled galaxies, sometimes you have to break a few eggs. The Empire only destroys worlds for the good
of the universe.
you’re right. I don’t understand you
guys at all.
Blitzed, The Emperor has a grand plan and Darth Vader is just helping
him implement that plan. You media guys
need to trust in The Emperor. He’s only
thinking of all of us.
guess. I hope he’s not aiming the Death
Star at this planet “for my own good”.
ha, of course not, ha ha.
well, I’ll sleep better now, maybe. So,
let’s get back to you. As a relative of
Darth Vader, how do you use the power of “The Dark Side of The Force” to help
you do your job.
There you go again with your labels.
It’s just “The Force” Blitzed and I don’t use it. No, I just issue press releases and come on
shows like this one to get The Emperor’s message of peace and unity out there
you don’t have the ability to use “The Force” like your uncle?
Well, I tried it once. I tried
real hard but, it just made my ears ring and my hair fell out.
that why you wear that black helmet?
the helmet is standard Empire issue for my department. Did you know Uncle Darth designs all the
uniforms himself? He’s really a talented
and nice guy when you get to know him.
guess I’ll take your word for it.
Blitzed, I have to ask you about all those Empire Pizza boxes in your Green
room here. How did you get your hands on
so many of our Pepperoni Pizzas? You
know there’s been a shortage of Pepperoni Pizza due to a rash of EMPEX high-jackings
in this quadrant of the galaxy. I’ll
tell ya, stealing Uncle Darth’s pizzas, that’s evil and not very nice. You wouldn’t know anything about that would
Well, I’m afraid that’s all the time we have today for The Warrior’s
Studio. Thank you for joining us
here at CAN, the Cable Ass Network.
oh, is this the final interview for Blitzed Wolfer?