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Wolf 461 |
Agent 54 here again.
We at the NSA under the DORD, picked up some strange communications from
very very very far away and I had to analyze it. It appears that the communications are coming
from a couple of the new exoplanets that astronomers are finding in our own
Milky Way galaxy. Exoplanets are planets
that orbit stars other than our Sun. The
really strange part is that the decoded messages are not from beings on these
planets but, from the planets themselves.
Yeah, I know, really weird.
Here’s my report.
Exoplanet Wolf 1061 (Wolf) is chatting with
Exoplanet Kepler 442 B (Keps)
Wolf: Hey
Keps, whazzzzz uppppp?
Keps: Awe,
you know same ole, same ole, orbitin and rotatin. Hey, you been checking out that weird solar
system with that planet with the humans on it again?
Wolf: Yeah, a
little. Tell the truth I get bored with Earth. Too stable for my tastes. You know I like little red hotties like
Venus. You know her surface is about 900
degrees.
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Kepler 442 B |
Keps: Oh
yeah, she could keep you warm at night.
You know my favorite is Saturn. I
dig those groovy rings. Outta sight!
Wolf: Man,
you always fall for those big stinky gas giants. I mean, I know they’re colorful but, dating
them is like going out to a cosmic porta-potty, ain’t it?
Keps: Shut
up! You know your Venus has a thick
stinky atmosphere too. Hey no planet is
perfect.
Wolf: Yeah,
well I never tried to score with no giant ice queen like Neptune or
Uranus. Remember when Uranus gave you
the cold shoulder?
Keps: Will
you listen to yourself? Talking like
some kinda intergalactic Romeo or something.
You ain’t even got what it takes to attract a moon yet. Let me know when you got someone orbiting
night and day and then we’ll take about the laws of attraction.
Wolf:
Shiiit! That slimy, dirty pile a
debris you got orbiting you is nothing but a cosmic dumping sight. That thing is the trailer trash of the
Universe.
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Venus |
Keps: You’re
just jealous of my trailer trash cuz you ain’t even got that. Anyway, when you gonna make a move on
Venus? You know, she ain’t getting no
younger.
Wolf: Hey,
I’m a planet with a plan. I’m just waiting
till the time is right and our systems are just the right distance from each
other, then boom! I use a volcano to
send her some of my life forms.
Keps: Yeah,
be careful. With that thick and hot
atmosphere of hers, she’s likely to crush and fry your little “gifts of life”.
Wolf:
Com’on! You know I thought of
that. I’m gonna send her some extreme
life-forms that can survive and thrive all over my little Venus.
Keps: Yeah,
well good luck with that. Me, I’m
looking forward to the day I can look Saturn in the eye and tell her how
beautiful she is.
Wolf: Yeah,
and if that don’t work out, you can look Jupiter in her big red eye and tell
her you love her too.
Keps: You
jerk! You know nobody likes that big fat
cyclops.
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Saturn |
Wolf: Whadda
ya mean? She’s a big stinky gas ball
too. Ain’t that your style?
Keps: You
really are a jerk, there Wolf. Why do I
talk to you?
Wow!
This opens up a whole new field of investigation for my NSA under the
DORD. I’m sure everyone in the Universe
is going to want to know what the other planets are thinking about their
celestial neighbors. I could end up with
a TV show on the Bravo Network or something.
Heeheehee! No matter where you go in the universe, the locker room talk is the same. Have a blessed and beautiful Sunday!
ReplyDeleteSome things are Universal.
DeleteThanks for playing.
those planets are all the same...
ReplyDelete...I think that some of them just have rocks in their heads :)
Yes, while others are hot heads.
DeleteThanks for playing.
What messymimi said. I was thinking the same thing.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺
Well, boys will be boys.
DeleteThanks for playing and have a great week.
My favorite planet is Earth ;)
ReplyDeleteYes, I would bet that Earth is the favorite of many humans because that's where they keep all their stuff.
DeleteThanks for playing.
I just want to give out the universal greeting to any sentient beings that might be on other planets. ;)
ReplyDeleteVery well, I'll be happy to relay those sentiments.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky - We only allow one blog post per person so I have the deleted the additional two leaving just the one - I couldn't find you on twitter hence the message here!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm not on Twitter.
ReplyDeleteThanks for playing.
Hi Timothy, Thank you for joining us at #TriumphantTales. Unfortunately, we only accept two posts per week therefore this post has been removed. Feel free to reshare this with us again on Tuesday with one other post!
ReplyDeleteOkay, thank you.
Deletepopping back from #TriumphantTales, Thank you for linking up again! Lovely to have you back.
DeleteThanks again. My pleasure to share.
DeleteReally intersting post Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it. Happy to contribute.
DeleteThanks for playing.
I'm shocked that planets are such gossips! Can you imagine what they'd say after a few drinks?
ReplyDeleteYes, that may be for a later post.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Keep taking the meds Tim! 🖖
ReplyDeleteYes I will.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Boys are after all boys, and they will remain so.
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining the Bloggers Pit Stop
Launching SIM Organics This April
*Menaka Bharathi *
*SimpleIndianMom*
Glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteThanks for reading and commenting.
So funny! This would make a great tv show. Thanks for linking up to #fridayfrivolity! 😊
ReplyDeleteHappy to make you laugh.
DeleteThanks for visiting and commenting.
Tis is amazing, I'm such a space nerd I love it! Keep up the good work it's hilarious :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting.
Delete:D Loved this one!
ReplyDeleteThank you and thank you for visiting.
Delete