Friday, July 19, 2013
Agent 54 here again. My boss, H. Cuffs said I could listen in on anyone so today I’m listening in on him and his golf buddy Barry. This should be fun. We pick them up on the 18th hole where we see H. Cuffs wearing his usual white shirt, black tie and black wingtips (no spikes). He has his sleeves rolled up.
H. Cuffs: Chief, that’s a terrible lie.
Barry: As I told the press, I did not know that the IRS was targeting my political enemies during an election year even though the head of IRS visited the White-house 157 times that year.
H. Cuffs: I meant your ball sir, it’s in pretty deep grass.
Barry: Oh, is it?
Turning his back to H. Cuffs, Barry gives his ball a little side kick.
H. Cuffs: Chief, your lie is getting better and better.
H. Cuffs: We’ve heard he’s one classy dude and his hair is a work of art.
Barry: H. Cuffs, what do you know about the Ron Burgundy campaign?
H. Cuffs: Not a heck of a lot Chief. We have an operative on it but, he hasn’t had much luck getting close to the campaign. In fact, the last time he tried to get something he was run off the Santa Monica pier by an angry Jack Nicholson.
Barry: I see. Do you know who’s behind the campaign?
H. Cuffs: It appears to be a Technician named Tim. Apparently he works in a machine shop during the day and runs the campaign in his free time.
H. Cuffs: Chief, I don’t think the Burgundy campaign poses much of a threat to anyone. I think that once the campaign pressure hits, they’ll fold like a tent, collapse like a lung, cave like a…..
Barry: (cutting H. Cuffs off) Okay H. Cuffs, I get it.
H. Cuffs: Nice shot Mr. President,
H. Cuffs plays a Sand wedge shot from 40 yards and leaves it 10 feet from the hole.
Barry: You dirty dog, you had to get inside me.
H. Cuffs laughs: Ha!
Barry: H. Cuffs can you keep an eye on Burgundy for me?
Max: Yes we scan!
Barry: Not funny. Not funny H. Cuffs.
Max: Sorry about that Chief.
Barry hits his putt missing by 8 inches to the left and rolling 6 feet past the hole.
Barry: That’s a gimmie, right H. Cuffs?
H. Cuffs putts his ball directly into the center of the hole.
H. Cuffs: Good, Another Par.
The two men are walking towards the Presidential golf cart.
Barry: H. Cuffs, how do you think this match went today?
H. Cuffs: You lost by 14 strokes Chief.
Barry: That’s not how I see it.
H. Cuffs: Okay, I won by 4.
Barry: Check again.
H. Cuffs: Alright, we tied.
Barry: Now that’s what I’m talking about when I say “Yes we can”. See you next week. Keep up the good work.
H. Cuffs: Yes sir, Mr. President.