Monday, July 8, 2013

Poopsicles!


Holy crap! The first 3 posting on my blog reading list today were all about Poop. No shit, Damn, what happened this past weekend?

Anyway, Agent 54 suffers from IBS so I can play this game all day long.

Phoenix from South Mtn.
The last time I almost crapped my pants was on South Mountain in Phoenix Arizona. For an 8 year old kid I guess it's pretty funny when you find yourself outside with your pants around your ankles letting loose while starring at a city of 2 million people.  For a 48 year old, not so much.

 I had run out of emergency TP which I always have in my hiking back pack (yes, ran out as in used it all) so I had to waste my favorite orange do-rag.

So, if you are ever hiking in Phoenix and you see a small orange flag in the bushes, you will know Agent 54 was here.


They call it the Garden State.  When you see wild flowers there, remember that many of them have been grown with a very special fertilizer, for many a time I have pooped outdoors in New Jersey, the state of my birth.

My worst New Jersey experience was when the poops hit me hard just before I drove onto the Tappan Zee Bridge which was backed up like the Hoover dam backs up the Colorado river. With nowhere to go I just had to hold on with excruciating pain until we got to the New York side. (20 mins.) I must have threatened to kill my wife 8 times just because she was there.

That was the largest outdoor monument I have ever left anywhere. I swear an Elephant would have been proud of that one and if I had had a cell phone camera I would have posted a pic of it here.

There are many more states that I have decorated in my own personal way. I guess I’ll save some of those stories for an appropriate time. (is there such a thing?)



The Zero Acre Woods

12 comments:

  1. I call our dog Patsy's frozen winter dooody "poopsicles" ha!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have learned through blogging that many people throughout the world enjoy a good poop story or joke. Who knew?

    I guess that since I was born with IBS I have been sitting on a gold mine all this time and never knew it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL I love a poop or fart story too and lol @ the That was the largest outdoor monument paragraph.

    Have a pooptastic day :-)

    Holds nose and leaves blog :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a way too true story.

      May you always have sufficient TP wherever you travel.

      Delete
  4. So this now makes four posts about poop? I'm guessing so. Keep up the good work.

    Have a pooptastic Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you.

      Do you remember Pay Toilets? Anyone got a dime.

      Delete
  5. Funny story Tim. At least it's more natural than sitting on a porcelain throne sending it down a pipe. So the lesson learned today is stay away from orange flags. Avoid them like the plague!!!
    Have a pooptastic week

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you and don't forget the paperwork.

      Delete
  6. I am so glad I stopped by to read this. Bwaaaa.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2015/11/can-you-feel-your-face.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I could make you laugh.

      Have a great week.

      Delete
  7. So, you were the one that left that "memento" on South Mountain? #luckyme. Just kidding, Agent 54. I know how you feel though. When I was in college I used to run 5-6 miles a day. Of course, the urge to have a mondo duke would usually overtake me when I was far away from campus. Good times...... ps avoid Clarion, PA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been to Clarion Pa. Small world again. You know I lived in NC a couple of times too.

      Thanks for playing.

      Delete