Agent 54 : Is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. He works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. He reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Holy crap! The first 3
posting on my blog reading list today were all about Poop. No shit, Damn, what
happened this past weekend?
Anyway, Agent 54 suffers from IBS so I can
play this game all day long.
Phoenix from South Mtn.
The last time I almost crapped my
pants was on South Mountain in Phoenix Arizona. For an 8 year old kid I guess
it's pretty funny when you find yourself outside with your pants around your
ankles letting loose while starring at a city of 2 million people. For a 48 year old, not so much.
I had run out of emergency TP which I always
have in my hiking back pack (yes, ran out as in used it all) so I had to waste
my favorite orange do-rag.
So, if you are ever hiking in Phoenix
and you see a small orange flag in the bushes, you will know Agent 54 was here.
They call it the Garden State. When you see wild flowers there, remember that
many of them have been grown with a very special fertilizer, for many a time I have
pooped outdoors in New Jersey, the state of my birth.
My worst New Jersey experience was
when the poops hit me hard just before I drove onto the Tappan Zee Bridge which
was backed up like the Hoover dam backs up the Colorado river. With nowhere to
go I just had to hold on with excruciating pain until we got to the New York
side. (20 mins.) I must have threatened to kill my wife 8 times just because
she was there.
That was the largest outdoor monument
I have ever left anywhere. I swear an Elephant would have been proud of that
one and if I had had a cell phone camera I would have posted a pic of it here.
There are many more states that I
have decorated in my own personal way. I guess I’ll save some of those stories
for an appropriate time. (is there such a thing?)