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Taylor Swift is Photogenic. |
Agent 54 here again. Let’s talk about another one of my former
co-workers. Why not? After all, what good is it to work with so
many weirdoes, geeks, creeps and jerks if you can’t make fun of them later?
Shirley Whistlebottom wasn’t an imposing
figure at four foot nothing but she had a weapon. It wouldn’t be accurate to say her mouth was
big. It was probably regular size for
her body but, boy was it active. I don’t
think you could shut Shirley up with a pair of vice grips and she had an
opinion on absolutely everything and she never hesitated to tell you exactly
what she thought. I guess the true term
for Shirley would be to say “she had no internal filter”.
Shirley worked in the Plateroom at Moore Business
Forms for over 26 years and she was sure that she knew more about printing than
anyone else ever. She probably did have
a wealth of knowledge about printing but, nobody would ever ask for her help or
advice because it would come with that mean, sharp tongued mouth of hers. Shirley wasn’t above calling a co-worker an
idiot or moron to their faces. If you
made a mistake, watch out! Shirley made
sure that everybody knew about it.
Being %100 Pennsylvania Dutch, Shirley could
never admit to making a mistake or being wrong in any way what so ever. As former President Obama did, whenever
anything Shirley was working on went wrong, she immediately blamed someone else
for the error.
I was working in the Press department and I decided
to transfer into the Plateroom to learn something new and work second shift so
I could play Ice Hockey or Golf during the day.
My friend Debbie worked there and I knew we would get along well at work. Shirley worked Days and after a week of
training I really wouldn’t have to deal with her much so I went for it.
When the transfer became official Debbie gave
me the low-down on Shirley. She said one
thing to me that I’ll never forget.
Debbie told me that Shirley would tell me that she was gifted with a
“Photogenic Memory”.
There is something called a “Photographic
Memory” or “Eidetic Memory” Wikipedia: Eidetic memory /aɪˈdɛtɪk/ Commonly referred
to as photographic memory or total recall, is the ability to recall images,
sounds or objects in memory with great precision, and is not acquired through
mnemonics.
Of course, if you can’t remember the common term
for a Photographic Memory then you don’t have one. A Photographic Memory is very rare and people
who have them are usually genius’s or savants.
Shirley was neither. Not by a
long shot.
My first day in the Plateroom came and my
supervisor Pete escorted me to the room to introduce me to everyone just before
shift change. Shirley started her mouth. In a minute I learned exactly how Shirley was
God’s gift to printing and then she dropped the bomb. In front of me, Pete, Debbie, John and 4
other co-workers and with her hands on her hips and a look of pride on her face
she said “I was gifted with a Photogenic Memory and I never forget
anything”.

So we said nothing, until break time. I looked at Debbie and she cracked up and
John went too. It was our own little
inside joke. All you had to do was say
“I forgot” or “is that tape Memorex” or anything involving memory and we would
burst out laughing. Laughing that is,
when Shirley wasn’t there.
From time to time we would get visitors in
the Plateroom. Sometimes it was a new VP
of the entire company, coming in from Canada and Pete would always bring them
in to see the Plateroom. What was so funny
to me was that every time to every visitor Shirley repeated her “I was gifted
with a Photogenic Memory and I never forget anything” claim. Never, not once
did anyone challenge her on it. Debbie,
John and I never said anything because we thought it was hysterical how she
made a fool of herself every time. Pete
didn’t say anything because he probably didn’t know any better and everyone
else who knew Shirley just didn’t want to confront her.
I had to wonder though, what did those VPs
think? Could they tell what kind of
shrew they were dealing with after only meeting her one time? Did they decide, like the rest of us, to just let it go
or did they think Shirley was an idiot and that she represented all of us in
the plant? We never knew and we didn’t
care. It was just funny.
Further
I had to wonder why nobody outside of work ever challenged her on that
statement that she must have made with pride to everyone else she had ever
met. I could imagine an eight year old grand kid trying to tell Nanny
that she was wrong. The kid probably got a spanking they’ll never forget.
Eventually she retired but, I’ll never forget
Shirley Whistlebottom and her “Photogenic Memory”.
I too have a photogenic memory; I remember that, at one time, I actually looked pretty good in photos.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you still look good in photos. Does that mean I have ESPN?
DeleteEstimating Some Photos are Nice. Thanks for visiting.
I think I worked with a few "Shirleys" over the years but none quite so memorable.
ReplyDeleteSnort.
For a tiny person she left a huge image in many memories, i'm sure. Thanks.
DeleteI know I've worked with a few of these Shirley's. Bless their hearts. Bwahahahahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific day. :)
I'm sure she meant well. Yeah right! She was mean as a snake. Have a great day too.
DeleteEvery job's got one too, it seems. Sometimes more. I've been lucky most of the time, but I've had a doozey or two too, and no one ever challenged their nonsense. Easier not to, I guess. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for linking to Super Sunday Sync.
My pleasure. Thank you for playing.
DeleteI stopped reading as soon as you told your lie about my president.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2013/11/musical-monday-john-lennon.html
Thank you for visiting.
Delete"Couldn't shut her up with a pair of vice grips!" Love it - that's a must-use catch phrase for sure now! Thank you! :)
ReplyDeleteIt is a "memorable" visual. Thanks for visiting.
DeleteI have known a few people like that. It's freaky. Better to just bite your tongue and yes her to death.
ReplyDeleteI was amazed that people who had just met her figured that out right away. Thanks.
DeleteI can't believe you were able to keep your mouth shut around Shirley. I was never able to around similar characters I worked with. I'm guessing you just used your awesme sense of humor to win her over :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for noticing my awesomeness. We worked different overlapping shifts so I didn't have to spend too much time with her. I was always in danger of laughing at her, especially when John and Debbie were there.
DeleteIt's amazing how well you can recall the story. Talk about a photographic memory!
ReplyDeleteOh I know I don't have a photographic memory. You know my stories may have a little Bullshit in them to smooth out the edges.
DeleteThanks for visiting.
Haha so funny :) I've defintiely met a few of those, I won't tell you what we call them ;)
ReplyDeleteI guess we've all met someone like Shirley.
DeleteThanks for playing.
A photographic memory would be pretty cool! Thanks for joining #TriumphantTales
ReplyDeleteYes it would. I have to take notes. I have 6 notebooks on my desk at work.
DeleteThanks for playing.
thanks for sharing with us at #BloggersPitStop and have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteThank you for allowing me to share.
DeleteThanks for sharing at #WoW Words on Wednesday Linkup
ReplyDeleteThanks for allowing me to share.
Delete