
A lot of people work here. I have a few friends here but, I haven’t met
most of the people. I’m not the only semi-famous person here. I think people like to work here because like me, they’re curious and amused by what
real people are talking about. Some blew
their fortunes and are here for the money while others couldn’t find anything
else. I guess it’s like anywhere else.
My cubicle is near the hallway to the
bathrooms and the cafeteria. People pass
by all the time and I try to ignore them.
Last week, late in the day, Inspector Gadget stopped bye. He's a former small town detective who thinks he works for the NSA Internal Affairs Department. The NSA doesn't even have an Internal Affairs Department but, don't try to tell him that.
![]() |
Inspector Gadget |
Agent 54
(weirded out) Uh, no. Was I supposed to?
Inspector Gadget: Of course. As an NSA Agent we must be alert and
vigilante at all times. So, you didn’t
see the very Un-American Graffiti in stall number 2?
Agent
54: Oh yeah, it said “Flush twice, it’s
a long way to Washington D.C. 20500.”
Inspector Gadget: Ah ha! And exactly what did you think about that?
Agent 54
(still weirded out) Uh, I thought it was
strange to include the zip code.
Inspector Gadget: Did you think about who might
have done this?
Agent 54
(still weirded out) Not at all.
Inspector Gadget: Nevermind. I’ll find the culprit. Meanwhile, get a small bucket, some pine oil
and a sponge and get rid of the offensive remark.
Agent 54
(still weirded out) Uh, okay.
I don’t know why I take orders from Gadget. He’s an Agent the same as
me. I also don’t know why he took
offense to the graffiti. I thought it
was funny, well, mildly amusing anyway.
In the Men’s room I’m about to enter stall
number 2 when my friend, Billy Idol burst in with a bucket, pine oil and no
sponge.
Agent
54: Hey Billy. Gadget come to see you too?
Billy: I don’t know why I take orders from that
wanker.
Next, John
Rambo comes in with a bucket, pine oil and a sponge. Rambo is another friend of mine. He's a former Army boxer with a dry sense of humor.
Agent
54: Rambo, you here to clean the
graffiti too?
Rambo: Yeah, Gadget sent me.
Agent
54: Okay guys, just let me get it and
I’ll see you at my cubicle. I think we
have to find out what is really up with Gadget.
After I got rid of the “offensive remark” and
put the cleaning stuff away I plop in my chair. Rambo and Billy are waiting for me.
Rambo: I got a waiver. My buddy, Col Trautman has friends in high places. They said as long as nobody complains,,,
Billy: The way I seen the chickies checkin you out,
they ain’t gonna complain. Some of the
blokes too.
We all
chuckle at that.
Inspector Gadget appears at the front of the
large office space that has mine and about 100 other cubicles in it. He addresses the room.
Inspector Gadget: Attention everyone, attention. I have an important matter to discuss.
About 97 heads pop up from the cubicles,
including my Supervisor, Agent 86 (Max).
Inspector Gadget: I recently
discovered a disturbing case of vandalism here in our building. In the Men’s room in stall number 2, someone
placed a very Un-American bit of graffiti on the wall. (pointing at me and the boys) Boys, tell everyone what it said.
Rambo, Billy
and I look at each other for a few seconds before I feel compelled to speak.
Agent
54: Uh, it said “Flush twice it’s a long
way to Washington 20500.”
Half the
room chuckles while the other half is really weirded out.
Inspector Gadget: That’s right! Now, using the investigative skills I learned
during many training seminars with the CIA, CSI, TSA, FBI, NSA and the DORD,
I have discovered exactly who the perpetrator of this offense is,,, haven’t I
MR. Joker!
The Joker’s
head pops up from a cubicle in the back of the room.
![]() |
The Joker |
Joker: Hee, hee, haa, haa, hoo, (psychotic evil
laughter) That’s right copper and you’ll
never take me alive!
With that he
leaps to the nearest window, turns the latch, opens it outward and jumps out.
After a
second of stunned silence.
Agent
54: Nice move. That guy is like a gazelle.
Billy: Yeah, I didn’t know he worked here. I thought he was locked up. Didn’t he get 3 to 5?
Rambo: He did.
You know that move would have taken courage if this wasn’t a one story building.
Everyone can
clearly see the Joker running across the 200 yards of grass between our
building and the parking lot where the purple and green Joker mobile is parked. Bob, the Joker’s top henchman waits outside
the car. Max goes to the
window and calls out to the Joker.
Max: So Joker, it’s 4:51 right now. I’ll clock you out at 4:45 and you can make
up the 15 minutes tomorrow if you want.
The Joker
stops in his tracks, turns toward us and gives us another burst of psychotic
evil laughter. Then he turns and bolts
for the getaway car.
Max: Right! Max closes
the window and turns to us.
Max: Okay everybody back to work.
Agent
54: (to Billy and Rambo) Max handled that beautifully.
Rambo: Oh, Max is the best.
Billy: Coolest bloke I ever had for a boss.
Agent
54: So, how’s the joker working here if
he got 3to 5?
Rambo: I dunno.
Maybe he got time off for hilarious behavior.
![]() |
Billy Idol |
Billy: I don’t see Gadget. Maybe he’s in the Ladie’s loo making sure
everyone flushed and flushed only once.
Rambo: Gadget, I hate small time cops who think
they’re Dick Tracey.
Billy: Take it easy Rambo. Gadget is harmless.
Rambo: Oh, I wouldn’t do anything unless he drew
first blood.
Agent
54: First Blood! He can barely draw a paycheck.
We all
chuckle at my wittiness.
It's was the Joker. Bwahahahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺
Yeah, I guess you didn't need years of training to figure that one out.
DeleteThanks and have a great week.
LMAO I think the day was weirder than weird heheh!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh have a wittytastic day ;-)
Looks left, looks right then leaves blog
Probably won't be the weirdest day at the NSA. Be careful. Thanks for playing.
DeleteWhat an entertaining story for a peaceful Sunday afternoon. I love the humour and characters and the "First Blood" line is terrific. Michelle
ReplyDeleteThank you. It makes my day when someone enjoys my stories.
DeleteYes, but that doesn't answer the question, "If a person is a part time band leader, is that person a semi-conductor?"
ReplyDeleteHave a great Holiday season and if I may say it... Merry Christmas!"
Steve
Merry Christmas! I worked in semi-conductors for many years and never saw a band leader.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Never thought I would see Rambo, Inspector Gadget, and Billy Idol in the same post. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteThere's still a lot of people that I haven't met yet at the NSA.
DeleteThanks for playing.
nice
ReplyDeleteGlad to make you laugh. I think I made you laugh. A little chuckle?
DeleteThanks for playing.
Flush twice, indeed! hahaha
ReplyDeleteAn old joke but, a relevant one.
DeleteThanks for visiting.
Thanks for sharing your post with Creatively Crafty Link Party #CCBG http://tryit-likeit.com/link-party-it
ReplyDeleteThanks for allowing me to share.
DeleteLOL! We all chuckle at my wittiness! Best line ever! Action packed installment, Billy and Rambo blew my mind, but throw in the Joker? It's a best seller!
ReplyDeleteThank you. This one practically wrote itself.
DeleteThanks for allowing me to share.
Wow! Is all I can say, wow.
ReplyDeleteBloggers Pit stop
Oh, glad you liked it. I think you liked it. I hope you liked it.
DeleteThanks.
Well you kept me amused to the end.
ReplyDeleteKathleen
Bloggers Pit Stop
Thank you for reading and commenting.
DeleteVery funny Tim! And thanks for joining #BlogCrush
ReplyDeleteJust a quick note - we'd love you to join us for #BlogCrush in future, but please double check the linky rules and make sure you link up a post from someone else too that you really love - that's what it's all about, spreading the blog love :)
Happy New Year!
Thank you.
Delete