
Blitzed Wolfer: Hello, I’m Blitzed Wolfer for CAN and today I’m interviewing people in the streets of San Diego to find out how they feel about the Smelly Pirate Hooker scandal that is consuming the Ron Burgundy Presidential campaign. Let’s give it a go.
Blitzed: Sir, can you…..
Mean Man: Grrrrrr get away from me!
Blitzed: Ma’am I’d like to ask…
Woman screams: (she runs away with the speed of the
Roadrunner).
Blitzed: Oh dear,
well, how about you sir?
Chong: Who me?
Blitzed: Yes, what’s your name? I’d like to ask you a question on the air,
about Ron Burgundy.
Chong: Far out man, it’s Chong, last time I was on
T.V. I had handcuffs on.
Blitzed: Oh, were you arrested?
Chong: No man, it ain’t illegal to wear handcuffs,,,,is
it?
Blitzed: I guess not.
Now, have you been following the Ron Burgundy….
Chong: (cutting Blitzed
off) Ron Burgundy is cool man and his
hair is a work of art.
Blitzed: Yes, yes but what about the smelly Pirates?
Chong: Ah, I guess they don’t have nice hair man cuz
they always got rags on their heads or a big ole funny hat and stuff man.
Blitzed: Okay Chong get lost huh, shoo (under his breath) can’t I find one person here who isn’t retar uh, mentally challenged.
A very tall
unidentifiable being in a Yellow summer dress approaches Blitzed
from a block away. As it gets closer it
became apparent……It’s Dennis Rodman!
Blitzed: Hello Dennis Rodman this is Blitzed Wolfer,
do you have a few minutes to chat on the air for CAN.
Dennis: Yeah, I can swing a few minutes for
yall. What’s up?
Blitzed: First, that’s a beautiful dress, where are
you headed?
Dennis: What, are trying to pick me up? Naw man, I’m Kiddin. Just going
shoppin for shoes.
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Dennis Rodman |
Blitzed: Oh, yes, well those red high-tops don’t go
very well with what you have on.
Dennis: No shit, you the fashion police now? Eh, eh where’s Joan Rivers? Is she here? Damn! Naw, you know I’m jokin right.
Blitzed: Sure, okay now Dennis how do you feel about
Ron Burgundy and the smelly Pirate
hookers?
Dennis: What, is that one of them oldies bands? Naw, I know Ron Burgundy, he’s that guy with
the hair that is a work of art.
Blitzed: Yes, yes but, I would like to know what you
think of smelly Pirate hookers.
Dennis: Well, I ain’t inta no smelly Pirate hookers
but, to each they own I guess. You know
this ain’t my town but, come to LA or Chicago and I can hook you up with any
kinda hookers or Pirates or whatever you’re inta there Blintzed.
Blitzed: No, my name is Blitzed and the smelly Pirate
hookers aren’t for me.
Dennis (cutting Blintzed,
Blitzed off) Yeah right, I know, they’re
for your cousin. (starting to walk away)
Have your (winking) cousin call me in LA next week and I’ll hook yall
up. (fist pumping his chest) Peace, out!
Blitzed: Well, I don’t know what the hell we learned
here today. This is Blitzed Wolfer for
CAN saying,,,saying,,, I need a drink.