Agent 54 is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. Agent 54 works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. Agent 54 reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Are You Ready for Some Football!
here again. I love my job. Sometimes I get to listen in on some of my
favorite people from the past. This week
we listened to a phone call from The Lone Ranger to his old buddy, Tonto. What a treat.
Here’s my report:
Ranger: Hello, Tonto?
Tonto: Hello Kemosabe, it good to hear from you.
Ranger: I’m calling to confirm that you and the your
tribe will be coming to my place for the annual Cowboys vs. Redskins game. The game is on November 23rd at 2:30pm but, we’ll be grilling from about noon on. It will be an all-day affair, as usual.
Tonto: As usual I will be by your side or on your
Ranger: Fine, can I count on you to bring the
Tonto: Ah Yes, Buffalo burgers from Omaha
Steaks. Cost much wampum but worth
it. Speak of wampum, we bet fifty
dollars on game again?
Ranger: You’re on.
This time Tony Romo is going to tear up the Redskins.
Tonto: Ranger must be smoking California Peace Pipe
again. RGIII will lead Skins to victory
Ranger: It’s called Medical Marijuana and I only used
it after my hip surgery. This is going
to be Romo’s breakout season.
Yeah, you say same thing last year. Who
else coming to party?
Ranger: The usual crowd. Mick Dundee from Australia will be bringing
the shrimp for the barby.
Tonto: Ah, Crocodile Mick. He big bullshiter.
Ranger: I’d watch who you call a bullshiter after
some of the tall tales you tell.
Tonto: What you mean. The shit Tonto make up true.
Ranger: Davey Crockett will be here with some
Tonto: Firewater, powerful medicine, we have fun.
Ranger: Nanook of the North and Quinn the Eskimo will
be bringing Reindeer again. I don’t eat
that stuff. It smells like an old dog
and tastes worse.
Tonto: Ugh. Me
think Reindeer graze in yellow snow.
Ranger: I think you’re right. Sherriff Andy Taylor from Mayberry and his
Aunt Bea will be there and they always bring some homemade pies.
Tonto: Mmm, good pies. Kemosabe, did you see new movie they made?
Ranger: No I didn’t and apparently nobody else did
either. It bombed.
Tonto: Me heard Sherriff Joe Arpio in Mesa Arizona
jail shows new movie to bad guys to make them go straight. Spirits say it works.
Ranger: Is this more of the stuff you make up that is
Ranger: So I’ll see you and the squaw and the little
Indians on the 13th .