Sunday, February 22, 2015

Smelly Pirate Hookers

 Agent 54 here again.  Well, Ron Burgundy has conceded the Presidential race.  It was a great race for Ron.  We met so many of the great American people. We had a wonderful time and lots of fun on the campaign trail. 
  Remember when this was a breaking news story?  Check it out:

Blitzed:  This is Blitzed Wolfer reporting for CAN and we’re talking to Brick Tanbottom about the “smelly Pirate hooker” controversy involving Presidential Candidate Ron Burgundy.  Hi Brick how are you?

Brick:   Aloha, dude, what’s C-A-N stand for?

Blitzed:  It stands for Cable Ass Network.   Hey!  You’re not on the Channel 4 News team.  Who the hell are you?

Wrong Brick:  Dude, I’m the surfin champ around here.

Blitzed: (to wrong Brick)  Well get the hell out of here!   (to right Brick) Hey!  Over there, Brick, Brick Tamland, (waving frantically) yeah you,  come on over here. (under his breath) what the hell is going on around here?  Somebody’s gonna get their ass kicked for this.
Brick Tamland

Correct Brick Tamland:  Hi dad.

Blitzed:  Hello Brick, it’s Blitzed Wolfer for CAN and I’d like to talk to you about the controversy following Candidate Ron Burgundy.

Brick:  I didn’t do it.

Blitzed:  Yes, yes I know, (speaking painfully slow) but I need to know if you know what Ron Burgundy meant when he used the term “smelly Pirate hooker”.  Which one is the smelly one?

Brick:  The Pirate.

Blitzed:  Ah ha, now we’re getting somewhere.  Brick, do you know how many smelly Pirates Ron Burgundy hangs out with?

Brick:  No, 5

Blitzed:  5 Pirates!  You are saying, Brick Tamlin, that Burgundy has nearly half a dozen smelly Pirate friends.

Brick:  My friend Brian Fontana says hookers are nice because they pop out of the cake and then their clothes fall off and…..

Blitzed: (cutting Brick off)  Thanks a lot there Brick.  Well there you have it.  Ron Burgundy has many smelly Pirate friends.  Will Burgundy’s smelly Pirate friends be a factor in his campaign for President of the United States of America?  For the best Political Coverage,,,go to the CAN.  

CAN with Blitzed Wolfer


  1. Bwahahahahahahahaha. Loved this one and I linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fantastic day. :)

    1. Thank you. Burgundy is definitely not a Bush or Clinton.

  2. Lmao loved it and LOL @ the name Blitzed Wolfer :-)

    Have a good week ahead :-)

    1. A fine reporter, Blitzed is. Thanks for playing.

  3. Maybe Ron Burgundy is just smelling his mustache.

  4. Ron Burgundy is an Old Spice kinda guy. He has confidence in his Smelf.

    1. Hey, I like Old Spice,... applied to a conservative it smells pretty good.

  5. Arrrr, the lid on the fish can must of fallen off, toss it overboard and swab the deck...

  6. I love Brick. I think I love him more than lamp. Smelly pirate hookers....too funny. Of course, Brian "Sex Panther" would have a comment about hookers. Funny post, Agent 54!

  7. Enjoyed the laugh! Thanks for sharing at The Blogger's Pit Stop! Roseann from This Autoimmune Life

    1. Great to make you laugh. Thanks for visiting.