|Snidley Whiplash and Dudley Do Right|
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Bullwinkle and the Polar Vortex
Agent 54 here again. We caught some old friends dealing with the Polar Vortex and a couple feet of “Global Warming” that it dumped on them. Some dastardly deeds did occur. Check out what’s happening in Frostbite Falls.
Scene: Frostbite Falls Minnesota. At dawn residents are waking up to 24 inches of newly fallen snow. In town residents must park on the street and must shovel their vehicles out before they can drive to work. Bullwinkle Moose steps out onto his porch, snow shovel in hand. His new neighbor is already hard at work.
Bullwinkle: Oh what a glorious new morning to do hours of back-breaking shoveling (not to mention that it’s freezing out here).
Dudley Do Right: Howdy neighbor. Dudley Do Right at your service.
Bullwinkle: Bullwinkle Moose here. I don’t suppose that “at your service” means you’ll do my shoveling too?
Dudley: And deprive you of the exercise you obviously need so badly.
Bullwinkle: Hey, you ain’t exactly John Rambo or Rocky Balboa there neither. Where exactly did you come from anyway.
Dudley: I relocated to Frostbite Falls from Canada because it’s way too cold in Canada.
Bullwinkle: Whatda ya think Frostbite Falls was, Tropical?
Scene: After 2 hours the neighbors have shoveled their walkways and are starting to clear their vehicles of snow.
Dudley: Say Bullwinkle, what kind of car is that you have there.
Bullwinkle: Why it’s an Oldsmoosebile of course.
Scene: 30 minutes later the cars are nearly cleared and the guys are nearly exhausted when a very large snow plow appears at the end of the block.
Bullwinkle: We must stop him then.
Scene: The two neighbors shout and wave their arms in an attempt to stop the snow plow from clearing the street and burying the cars but, it’s no use. As the plow passes our heroes see that none other than Snidley Whiplash is driving the plow truck. The plow stops just past the two homes.
Snidley Whiplash: Hello boys, having fun?
Dudley: Snidley Whiplash you fiend! You’ve buried our cars after it took hours for us to dig them out.
Bullwinkle: Yeah! Now what ya gonna do about it?
Snidley: Well now Bullwinkle for a tiny fee I’ll use break out my super-duper snow blower and have you cleared out in a jiffy.
Bullwinkle: How much is a tiny fee?
Snidley: A hundred dollars.
Snidley: Well, it’s more like side-street robbery but, who am I to quibble? Oh, and for you Dudley I will have to figure in the exchange rate for Canadian currency. Let’s see, 6 and 2 is 8, carry the 7 hmm, duda do, uh that’ll be 2 hundred Canadian dollars please.
Dudley: Absolutely not. I won’t pay!
Bullwinkle: You scoundrel you.
Snidley: I don’t blame you boys. I’ll just hop back in the truck and I think there is a shopping center nearby that might need my services, ha ha ha
Scene: The two tuckered out buddies look at each other and,,,
Bullwinkle: Wait, we’ll pay. We gotta get to work, what else can we do?
Dudley: Well Whiplash, looks like you win this time.
Snidley: Of course I do, ha ha ha. Just hand over the cash and I’ll get right to work. It’s a pleasure doing business with you boys.
What can our heroes do but pay the price. Looks like this has been another case of Snidley gives Bullwinkle The Business or Dudley’s Frozen Assets.
Agent 54 here. I’ve got turn this one over to my boss, H. Cuffs. We’ve got find out if Dudley Do Right is in America legally and if Snidley Whiplash has his green card?