Monday, March 2, 2015

Campaigning in Aruba?

  Agent 54 here again.  Well, Ron Burgundy has conceded the Presidential race.  It was a great race for Ron.  Let's take a look back at the fun we had on the campaign trail. 

  This was interesting.  We caught up with the Ron Burgundy Campaign on a beach in Aruba.  Hummm.

  Scene:  Ron Burgundy is lounging in a beach chair on a beautiful Aruban beach.  He’s wearing a red and white striped tank-top and blue swim trunks.  He has one sandal on and the other is missing.  He’s holding a folding tanning reflector in one hand and a Scotch in the other and his hair is a work of art.  Most of the rest of the campaign staff are at a thatch covered bar about 10 yards away.  They are dressed for the beach and seem to be enjoying Pina Coladas and Margaritas.  Along comes a reporter in a suit and his film crew.  It’s Blitzed Wolfer!  He sits down next to Ron.

Blitzed:  Hello Ron Burgundy, it’s Blitzed Wolfer for CAN covering the 2016 Presidential race.  How are you?

Ron:  Fine, have you seen my other flip-flop?

Blitzed:  No, I just got here.  I want to ask you how your campaign is going?

Ron:  It’s going great.  I went fishing yesterday and later today I’m going to take Samba lessons from a Gypsy.

Blitzed:  Ah, I thought the idea of your campaign was to meet the voters?  There don’t seem to be a lot of voters here.

Ron:  Whadda you talkin about.  Look out there, she’s a voter.  (Ron points to a beautiful girl with a great tan in a small bikini).

Beautiful Girl:  (calling out)  Ron Burgundy, your hair is a work of art.

Ron:  See, that girl is part of my most important constituencies, voters who love great hair.  You know Blitzed, you have a lot to learn about campaigning.

Blitzed:  But Ron, she’s probably not even an American voter.  Ron, you do know that this is a Dutch island and its citizens can’t vote for you

Ron:  What?  That’s stupid.  These people deserve to vote for whoever they like.  Why they’re as American as you and I.  Take Pepe over there.  (Ron points to a drunk in a straw hat laying on the beach).

Pepe:   zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Blitzed:  Believe me Ron, there aren’t nearly as many American voters in Aruba as there are in America.  So, why did you come to campaign here?

Ron:  (calling out to his campaign manager The Only Wendy Shade)  Hey Wendy, why’d we come to Aruba and have you found my flip-flop?

Wendy responds:  (under the influence of a couple of Pina Coladas) Why?  What’s wrong with Aruba?  Shut up and get a tan.

Ron:  (in an elevated tone)  No! really, have you seen my sandal?

Wendy:  (in a more elevated tone)  Yeah Ron, it’s out there in the ocean riding a dolphin and we came to Aruba because most of America is under 3 feet of snow right now thanks to Algore’s total defeat of Global Warming.  Drink your Scotch.

Howard:  (at the bar with Wendy)  I like Aruba.

Ron:  (turning to Blitzed)  So, there you go.  Any other questions?

Blitzed:  (looking shocked and frustrated)  Yeah, how can I get a Scotch?

Ron:  Oh that’s easy (calling out)  Garson!

 Well now.  I guess we learned that Ron Burgundy is probably the smartest candidate in this race.  Who wouldn’t want to be in Aruba right now?


  1. Bwahahahahahahahaha. He does have awesome hair you know.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  2. Hair is important in Aruba. Sunburn up there really hurts.

    Thanks for visiting and have a great week.

  3. Very funny. After January, lots of people would want to be in Aruba... #brillblogposts

  4. LOL Timothy, Ron Burgundy sounds like someone I'd definitely vote for

    1. Yes, maybe next time.

      Thanks for playing.

  5. Lol, Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofblog

    1. Happy to make you chuckle. Thanks for allowing me to share.

  6. Entertaining as always! Thanks for sharing at The Blogger’s Pit Stop! Roseann from

  7. Hilarious! Great post! Thank you so much for visiting #ThoughtFullThursday!