Mega-Super Project

  Agent 54 here again.  The anticipation has been building all week.  I knew this phone call was going to be epic.  Finally, it came and it was so worth the wait.  Here’s my report on the call from Superman to Megamind.

Minion

Scene:  Inside Megamind’s Mega-Secret, impenetrable lair we see Megamind’s sidekick, Minion doing some light house cleaning.  The phone rings.

Minion:  Hello, Megamind’s Mega-Secret, impenetrable lair, tell us who you are and we’ll decide if we care.

Superman:  This is Superman calling for Megamind.  What was your name, Munchkin?

Minion:  Superman!  Uh, Minion, my name is Minion and I’ll go get my boss right away.

Megamind enters the room.

Megamind:  Minion, I’m getting hungry.  Who are you talking to?

Minion:  It’s Superman for you, Sir.

Megamind:  Superman!  What could he want?  Do you think he knows where the   Mega-secret, impenetrable lair is?  You better get out of here so I can concentrate on his call.

Minion:  Right, Sir,,, to the kitchen to make sandwiches!

Megamind:  Minion, please stop imitating Buzz Lightyear.  That’s so annoying.

Minion:  Sorry, Sir.

Megamind

Megamind: (on the phone)  Heeello, ha ha ha (evil laughter) this is Megamind, how can I help you?

Superman:  Yeah, Megamind, who was that other guy, Onion?  Nevermind, I wanted to discuss something with you.

Megamind:  Superman!  How did you find out where my Mega-secret, impenetrable lair is?  Who ratted me out?  What are your intentions?

Superman:  Hey, take it easy.  I don’t know where your,, your, I don’t know where you are and I don’t really care.  I got your number from Buzz Lightyear although 555-v-i-l-l-i-a-n  is pretty obvious, I mean I probably could have figured that one out by myself.

Megamind:  Is this a trick?  Are you coming to try to penetrate my Mega-secret, impenetrable lair?

Superman:  No, now c’mon.  You know that being a “Good Guy”, if you ask me if it is a trick and it is, I have to tell you.  So there now.  Can we talk?

Megamind:  Yes, I am aware of the “Good Guy” code.  Okay, so Superman, what’s on your mind?

Superman:  Well, I was talking to Buzz Lightyear about my little problem,,,

Buzz Lightyear

Megamind: (interrupting)  Buzz does like to talk, doesn’t he.  He’s alright, a bit of a Goody Two Shoes do-gooder but, he’s okay.  No offense!

Superman:  None taken.  So let’s get down to it.  I have a problem with Kryptonite.  I can use lead to shield myself from it but, did you ever try to make a costume out of lead?  I mean talk about clunky.

Megamind:  Yes, I can imagine that.  Definitely NOT Superhero like.

Superman:  Yeah, well, Buzz told me you use carbon nanotube fibers for your costumes so I put 2 and 2 together and thought that with your great mind you could find a way to blend lead with the carbon nanotube fibers and come up with a Super- Mega material for my new costume that would protect me from Kryptonite.

Megamind:  A lead-carbon nanotube fiber Super-Mega, no, no, a Mega-Super material.  That’s brilliant!  Why didn’t I think of that?  Yes, yes I could definitely do that.  I think I could do that.  If anyone could do that it would be me.  Okay Superman, If I decide to do this, what’s in it for me?

Superman:  Well, for starters you would get one third the credit for inventing the stuff and half the merchandising rights thereafter.

Megamind:  Nope!  No good.  I want all the credit for inventing the stuff and 75% of the merchandising rights or you’re on your own.

Superman:  All the credit!  Are you nuts?  What’ll I tell Buzz?

Megamind:  schrrrrrbizzz   Whoa Superman, looks like our connection is breaking up  schdddddbllzzzz,,,

Superman:  Okay, okay,  I’ll just have to make Buzz say yes somehow.  Okay you get it all.  Besides I do too much merchandising already.

Superman

Megamind:  I knew you’d see it my way, he he he (evil laughter).  Now, one more thing.   Suppose I make this suit for you and it works.  You’ll be virtually invulnerable  and undefeatable.  How do I know you won’t use your new invincibility against my evilness.

Superman:  Well, I’ll just have to promise to look the other way when you do your evil thing, as long as you confine yourself to doing it in Metro City.

Megamind:  It’s Metrocity.  We call it Metrocity.

Superman:  Yeah, Okay, Whatever, do we have a deal?

Megamind:  We have a Mega-Deal! I can’t wait to get started. (calling to the kitchen)  Minion, get in here and bring a note pad, we’re going shopping. (to Superman)  So, give me your number so I can call you when I get a proto-type ready.

Superman:  Right, it’s 555-S-u-p-e-r-m-a.

Megamind:  555-Superma?  Really?  That’s like a number some mommy blogger would have.  Not too well thought out there Superma.

Superman:  What!  I was in a hurry.  You know.  There’s 8 letters in Superman and only 7 in a phone number.  What was I to do?

Megamind:  I would have thought of something.  Nevermind, I’ll call you Superma.  Click

Megamind hangs up as Minion enters the room with a note pad.

Megamind's Impenetrable Mega-Secret Lair 

Megamind:  Ah, good Minion, I’m going to need a half ton of lead and half ton of Kryptonite from the Villianworld Super Supply store and then we need to go to Sears to check out the latest high-tech sowing machines.

Minion:  Can I ask you sir, what this is all for?

Megamind:  I’m working on a secret Mega-Super Project with Superman himself.

Minion:  Congratulations Sir!  Bye the way, our sandwiches are ready.

Megamind:  Great!  You know they say never go shopping on an empty stomach.  Thank you Minion.

Minion:  My evil pleasure, Sir.

Meanwhile, at Superman’s pad:

Superman:  (to author, Timothy)  Pad?  Really? Did you really call it a pad?  Austin Powers crashes at a “Pad”.  This is my Crystal Fortress.  You want to get it together now?

Coffee

Timothy:  Sorry Superman.  It’s just that, I’m a little tired.

Superman:  Okay, we’ll take 10 and you can get another cup of coffee and come back to fix it.

Timothy:  Yeah, thanks, I’m on it.

Meanwhile at Superman’s magnificent, secret, Crystal Fortress, Lois Lane walks into the living area where Superman is seated on a beautiful couch and watching his big screen giant holographic T.V.  She sits and snuggles next to him.

Lois:  Hey Hun, who was that on the phone?

Superman:  Hey Sweetie, it was Megamind.  I talked him into making me a new costume that will protect me from Kryptonite.

Lois Lane

Lois:  Cool, you always wanted one of those.  Hey, weren’t you going to call Buzz Lightyear about that. Why is Megamind helping you?  Isn’t he evil? 

Superman:  Nah, not really.  He’s just a bit of a control freak.  In the negotiations I had to fake like I cared if he got the credit for inventing the new material he’s making. Like I need the credit.

Lois:  That’s funny.  He sounds like a nuttball.

Superman:  Yeah, a super-genius nuttball.  Hey Honey, all that negotiating has made me kinda hungry.

Lois:  I got it,,to the kitchen to make a sandwich!

Superman:  Oh no, not you too.  

 OMG, was that worth the wait or what?

Super Problem

Mega-Super Fitting

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