Agent 54 : Team Building?

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Team Building?

Nurse Ducttaper

Agent 54 here again. I woke up several hours ago in nurse Ducttaper’s office at the NSA under the DORD with a headache and couple of my buddies looking at me like I was a museum exhibit. Apparently, I had lost some of my short term memory of why I was there and what happened. The Weirdness was just beginning.

Scene: Nurse Ducttaper’s office.

Billy Idol: Hey, you’re awake you wanker. You scared me a bit.

Flo: Yeah, you have a nice nap?

Agent 54: What the hell? Ahh, who hit me with a bat?

Nurse Ducttaper: You’re gonna be alright there sleeping beauty. Here, put this ice bag on your noggin and take it easy.

Agent 54 sits up on the cot in the nurses office, holding the ice bag to the back of his head.

Agent 54: Well, is somebody going to tell me what happened or do I have to wait for Inspector Gadget’s report?

Flo: Don’t you remember?

Agent 54: I remember we had a meeting for some dumb-ass Team Building thing.

Billy Idol: Wadda ya remember about the meeting.

Agent 54: I remember donuts.

Billy Idol: Oh man! We gotta show you the tape! It was hilarious!

Flo: Billy! Agent 54 might not think it was so funny.

Billy Idol: Oh, yeah, right, no offense.

Agent 54: What was funny? What did you guys do?

Billy Idol: Hey, it wasn’t my idea. It was all The Joker from the start.

Flo

Agent 54: What! Owww!

Nurse Ducttaper: That’s enough, you two troublemakers. Agent 54 needs to rest. You all can show him the video of the accident later.

Flo: (under her breath) Accident my ass.

Nurse Ducttaper: Git!

Scene: In the group viewing room a bunch of us are watching the surveillance tape of the Team Building meeting. The video is showing an exercise where five of us stand up in a circle with our eyes closed. We are instructed to just lean back on the count of three and that one of our “Teammates” will catch us. Nobody can see which “Teammate” is behind them. The exercise is supposed to build trust between “Teammates”. Guess who gets to have The Joker catch him?

Billy Idol: I swear I didn’t know what The Joker was up to. Look at his face. He looks normal.

Agent 54: Normal! He looks demented.

Billy Idol: Well yeah, but, demented is normal for that bloke.

John Rambo: Yeah, you never know what that guy’s thinkin.

Agent 54: Why did I draw The Joker? Rambo, how the heck did you get to catch Flo?

Rambo: Just luck, I guess.

As the video progresses we hear the count down. 1,2,3,. As I start to lean back The Joker swiftly steps out of the way.

Video: The Joker: Whoops, So sorry, Ha ha ha, ho ho ho , now it’s time to go go go!

The Joker

The video continues and as Agent 54 falls back and cracks his head on the floor, we see The Joker bolting for the windows. We can hear his psychotic, evil laughter as he unlatches his favorite window and jumps out to make his escape across the lawn to his get-a-way car. Of course the whole video room is now howling in laughter, except for one guy who is holding an ice bag on the back of his head.

Agent 54: Thanks a lot, you donkeys.

Flo: Oh, com’on. You gotta admit, the video is great.

Billy Idol: Yeah, we gotta send a copy to that “America’s Dumbass Videos” show.

Inspector Gadget: Oh no my friends. This video is now “classified” and I’m personally going to take a copy to the boss. I should be able to get The Joker suspended for at least a week for you, Agent 54.

Agent 54: Great! I get a concussion and a goose egg on my dome and he gets a vacation.

Rambo: Quit you’re bitchin. If that video gets out, you’ll be a star.

Agent 54: (sarcastically) Yeah, Thanks!

So, I guess the lesson learned there is never trust a “Teammate” with a 40 year criminal record,,,or anyone else at the NSA either.