
Scene: Sound stage at Cable Ass Network’s Secret
location with 4 podiums set up but only 3 candidates are behind them. The Debate Monitor, Blitzed Wolfer sits at a
desk facing the candidates. The only audience
allowed are campaign staffers and security personnel.
Blitzed
Wolfer: Welcome everyone to CAN’s Secret
location for the 2016 Democrat Presidential Debate.
Staffers
& Security: Mild applause.
![]() |
Martin O'Malley |
Bernie
Sanders: What the hell was that BS?
Martin
O’Malley: Yeah! Why the loud cheers for
Hillary and not us?
Hillary
Clinton: (in a southern drawl) I didn’t
hear nothin.
Blitzed
Wolfer: Where’s the Vice President?
Blitzed
Wolfer: Well, we can’t wait for
him. Let’s get started with our first
question for Candidate Bernie Sanders.
Senator, why the heck are you running against Hillary?
Bernie
Sanders: What the hell kinda BS question
is that? I gotta right to run like every
other PC Commie Pinko Meathead in America.
Blitzed
Wolfer: Thank you Senator. Now Governor O’Malley, are you out of your
mind?
Martin
O’Malley: Say, what’s going on
here? Are you working for Hillary
Clinton’s Foundation or what?
Blitzed
Wolfer: Thank you Governor. Now Mrs. Clinton, with your vast experience,
intelligence, charm and overall talent, how do you think you will benefit every
single American best?
Joe
Biden: I’m here teacher.
Joe
Biden: I’m sorry but, I fell asleep at
another of those boring National Security briefings we have every stupid day. OMG!
Blitzed
Wolfer: I’ve been told by my staff that,
Mr. Vice President you did not pay the full million dollar entrance fee. It says here you only paid $999.999.00.
Joe
Biden: I found a Nickel on the way in.
Blitzed
Wolfer: Well, that’s not good
enough. I’m afraid you’ll have to stay
and participate in the rest of the debate.
Joe
Biden: Darn!
Martin
O’Malley: What gives here? I thought we would all be treated equally
here tonight?
Hillary
Clinton: (sternly but, with a southern
drawl) Quit you’re whinin! You got ta
answer uh question.
Bernie
Sanders: (to Hillary) What’s up with
that phony Southern accent? You’re about
as Southern as I am.
The lights suddenly go out and there’s the
sounds of a lot of commotion for 10 seconds.
When the lights come back on, Bernie Sanders is gone and at his spot
behind the podium is a polar bear. Everyone
including the polar bear turns and stares at Hillary Clinton.
The polar bear pops his head off to reveal a
very sweaty Al Gore.
Al
Gore: Hi everyone. Boy this Global Warming is really getting
bad. I’m sweating up a storm.
Martin
O’Malley: I guess you would be, in a 50
pound polar bear suit. Why are you
wearing that?
Al
Gore: It’s comfortable.
Blitzed
Wolfer: Welcome Mr. Vice President
Gore. As long as you’re here, I may as
well ask you a debate question too. Tell
us, why do you think Hillary Clinton would be a great President?
Martin
O’Malley: I thought this was going to be
a real debate. Why has no one asked
Hillary Clinton about her Top Secret emails?
The whole room collectively gasps.
![]() |
Special Agent Gracie Hart |
Special
Agent Gracie Hart: Mrs. Clinton, the FBI
would like to ask you about your classified emails.
Hillary
Clinton: (starting to force a tear) But, my mother had it so hard…..
Wow! That was wild and crazy but, at
least it had a happy ending.
Donkey Discrimination
Monica Mess Game Show
Are You Nutz!
That's a Terrible Lie
Donkey Discrimination
Monica Mess Game Show
Are You Nutz!
That's a Terrible Lie
Most people just don't like Hillary. Good grief she was second place in 2008. We want second place? No.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
At this point Hillary is more likely to go to "the big house" than The White House.
DeleteThanks for your support.
Hahaha haha haha haha Trump🔁Clinton. Who would make the most effective president?
DeleteWell, if Hillary is governing from jail, at least we can keep an eye on her 24-7.
DeleteThanks for playing.
This is Great! A laugh a minute, thanks Bro. Sgt Lion USMC
ReplyDeleteThanks for playing. Please come back early and often.
DeleteI'm not looking forward to the upcoming Presidential campaign mess...but your blog might make it easier to bear!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'll do what I can.
DeleteLOL Great read thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure. Please come back early and often.
DeleteLMAO as usual you had me laughin me head off again ..poor Hilary ..."coughs"
ReplyDeleteThanks. Poor ole Multi-Millionaire One-Percenter Hillary.
DeleteThanks for the invite. I enjoyed the excerise. I needed a good belly laugh. Lol
ReplyDeleteThank you for the great compliment.
DeleteGlad to be here. Thank you for the invite. Impeach the bastard!!
ReplyDeleteYes we should!
DeleteThanks for visiting.
The goal is to split both parties into 5 different factions. Hopefully the Nazi party will not gain too much power before the WAR starts. I think impeachment will only slow down the split. The only thing that would help is to prosecute bad cops to end the "war on cops," which is really a war on RACE.
DeleteWe need change in this country. Our corrupt Government and Media are killing America.
DeleteGlad to see VP Joe Biden made it to the debate. A little bird (Spaceman), who was close to Hillary told me that nothing will happen to her. A different bird told me it would be impossible to put her in handcuffs anyway because she's probably just a hologram. Maybe we should just eat her; she probably tastes good with all that artificial flavoring! As for Blitzed Wolfer, you can follow him directly on Twitter @schlichting1103
ReplyDeleteIf we have to use Holographic handcuffs for Hillary then, beam me up Scotty!
DeleteThis is a perfect example of why there are no right-wing comedians. They just don't understand humour.
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you very much.
DeletePlease come back early and often.
Ahahahaha your "Hilary Clinton's coronation" line had me laughing out loud. ;P So glad you linked up at Friday Frivolity and looking forward to getting to know you better!! Pinning and tweeting your post...
ReplyDeleteYou are too kind. Love to make people laugh.
DeleteThanks for visiting.
This year the elections are not a happy subject. We need change, not to put someone into office that will land us into hot water. Where are the JFK's and the Ronald Reagan's of this generation? Answer that Blitzed Wolfer!
ReplyDeleteYes indeed. Trying to make fun of it is difficult because it is so messed up.
ReplyDeleteI probably won't touch the subject again until well after the election. Thanks for your thoughts.
lmao
ReplyDeleteHappy to make you laugh.
DeletePlease come back early and often.
Hillary for Prison 2016. Great post! Thanks for sharing on Wordless Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteWe can only hope.
DeleteThanks for visiting and commenting.
Your debate would have been definitely more entertaining than the real thing. I would live to see your take on the current wastes of time!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, this was the best debate by far.
DeleteThanks again.
Thank you for coming to the Blogger's Pit Stop on Thursday!
ReplyDeleteJanice, Pit Stop Crew
I appreciate the opportunity to share my silliness.
DeleteThank you.
Thank for joining the Awww Mondays Blog Hop. This is still a great post. 😎
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Delete