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Presidential Candidate Ron Burgundy |
Agent 54 here again. Well, Ron Burgundy has conceded the Presidential race. It was a great race for Ron. Let's take a look back at the fun we had on the campaign trail.
We followed the Burgundy Campaign to Green Bay Wisconsin for division Rivalry football game between the Packers and the Bears. Even though the game is Thanksgiving Thursday, the tailgating has already started on this Tuesday morning. The campaign team travelled by the freshly cleaned Campaign bus, minus their leader, The Only Wendy Shade who stayed home to take care of some personal matters. She put Joe B. in charge since this is his home area. Let’s see how it’s going. We catch up to the campaign just as the bus arrives at Lambeau Field.
We followed the Burgundy Campaign to Green Bay Wisconsin for division Rivalry football game between the Packers and the Bears. Even though the game is Thanksgiving Thursday, the tailgating has already started on this Tuesday morning. The campaign team travelled by the freshly cleaned Campaign bus, minus their leader, The Only Wendy Shade who stayed home to take care of some personal matters. She put Joe B. in charge since this is his home area. Let’s see how it’s going. We catch up to the campaign just as the bus arrives at Lambeau Field.
Joe B. Here we are friends, beautiful Lambeau Field.
Various cheers
and Whoo Hoos from the campaign staff on
the bus.
Joe B.: Now everyone, Wendy gave me some very
detailed instructions for us all.
(looking at his tablet) Now, Tim
and John are going to go in opposite directions, passing out campaign materials
and buttons and signing up volunteers.
Maureen is going to stay with the bus and act as a home base for
communications. Any problems and you
call Maureen’s cell phone, okay? Ron and
I are going to walk down the main tailgating isle and meet as many Cheeseheads
as we can. You ready Ron?
Ron: Ready, willing and very, very handsome.
Joe B.: Wendy wants us out for only 1 hour at a time
so it’s 10:54 now so everyone meets back here at 12:00 noon, okay? Let’s go!
The Campaign
hits the bricks. After just 10 minutes
of Ron and Joe B. meeting and greeting, Ron meets a cute little Cheesehead.
Ron: Hello, I’m Ron Burgundy and I’m running for
President in 2016.
Kim: Oh yeah, I know who you are. Come on over and have a seat.
Kim is
cooking various bratwursts on the grill while watching ESPN on a TV in the back
of a huge old truck. There are several
folding chairs all around and an ice cooler full of adult beverages. Ron takes a seat while Joe B. watches
nervously.
Ron: Sweet set-up you got here.
Kim: Thanks, my name is Kim. We drove Dusty there (pointing to the big ole
truck) from Arizona. My friends are
throwing the football around on the grass over there. Hey, grab yourself a Mike's Hard Black Cherry
Lemonade from the cooler. These brats
will we take a few more minutes.
Ron: (as he pulls a bottle from the cooler) Mike's
Hard Black Cherry Lemonade? I never
heard of such a thing.
Joe B.: Ron, I don’t know if that is a good idea.
Ron: Nonsense!
I’m a mature adult. It’ll be
fine. Kim, that’s Joe B. my campaign
babysitter for the day.
Kim: Whoa, uh don’t let little ole me corrupt the
morals of a Presidential candidate there now.
It’s just a hard lemonade. No big
deal.
Two women
walking by say in unison “Ron Burgundy, your hair is a work of art”.
Kim: See, you got fans around here.
Ron: (after tasting the Mike's Hard Black Cherry
Lemonade) Great Green Goblins that’s good.
Kim: Uh huh, I told ya. They go great with the brats.
Joe B.’s
cell phone rings and he answers it.
After a short phone conversation he speaks to Ron.
Joe B.: Ron, Maureen has a problem on the bus, let’s
go help her.
Ron: You know Joe, why don’t you go help her and
I’ll just keep the campaign going here.
She probably doesn’t need both of us.
Joe B. Uh I dunno.
What would Wendy do.
Ron: Oh come on now. Whose campaign is it anyway? I’ll be fine right here. Shoo now, go and help Maureen.
Joe B. (as he starts walking to the bus) Okay, don’t go anywhere and don’t drink any
more Mike’s.
Kim: Wow, they kinda got you on a short leash there,
eh Ron?
Ron: They mean well. It’s just that they don’t want me to get into
any trouble or do anything embarrassing that could end up in the news.
Kim: I guess.
What could happen here? It’s just
a tailgate party.
Ten minutes goes by and Joe B. returns to
Kim’s tailgating truck but, No Kim, no Ron and no brats. Joe B. starts to panic as he calls out and
looks for Ron.
Joe B.: (calling out)
Ron! (to himself) Not good, this is not good. Wendy is gonna kick my butt. (calling out)
Ron! (to himself) Not good, what to do now?
Joe B. tries
Ron’s cell phone but he doesn’t answer.
After 15 minutes of looking Joe B. calls everyone else back to the bus
to organize the search for Ron Burgundy Candidate for President in 2016.

Maureen: Listen, Tim and John go search the biggest
gatherings of people in the crowd. Joe
B. you stay here with me and everyone, if Wendy calls you, just tell her that
Ron is taking a nap and you are just handing out campaign stuff. Alright, everyone’s got their cell phones and
they all have my number right?
Joe B.: I told him not to drink that Mike’s Hard
Lemonade. I told him…
Maureen: It’s okay Joe, we’ll find him. Tim, John get going!
As they open
the bus door, Tim and John get a big and sloppy surprise.
Ron Burgundy
Candidate for President in 2016: Hallo
(slurring his words) look what I found, burp, in Curly’s Pub, Smelly Pirate
Hookers!
Ron falls
into the bus with two scantily clad Cheeseheads on his arm, laughing at him. His tie is gone and his hair is a mess. He’s very drunk.
Scantily
Clad Cheesehead: (slurring her
words) Hey! We’re not Smelly Pirate Hookers. No!
We’re Smelly Cheeeseyhead Hookers. Burp
Maureen: (barking out orders) Okay boys get him back there and clean him
up. Girls, we’re done with you, go home
now . Driver, start this thing up and take us to
the nearest Outback Steak House. Let’s
go people move it. And nobody answers
their cell phone until Ron sobers up.
Ron: (slurring his words) Hey I’m pretty soooo…..
Ron passes
out as Tim and John drag him back to the shower.
Joe B.: Hey Ron, great to have you back. I was starting to worry.
Maureen: Everybody, this is now our secret. This did NOT happen. You all are now sworn to secrecy because if
Wendy finds out about this Ron won’t be able to fart without written permission
and we’ll all be fired from our volunteer jobs.
Got it?
The silence
confirms that they are all on the same page.
Maureen: Driver, to the Outback.
Wow, that was a wild one for the
Burgundy Campaign in Cheesehead land.
Please do NOT tell The Only Wendy Shade anything about this.
Bwahahahahahahahaha. You just can't leave Ron alone. You just can't.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
The campaign is still going strong.
DeleteThanks for playing and have a happy holiday.
Gave me a lovely giggle. :)
ReplyDeleteDropped by from Blogger's Pit Stop, so glad I did. :)
Hope this weekend treats you kindly. :)
Thank you. Please come back early and often for chuckle.
DeleteThanks for sharing with #CCBG
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting.
DeleteHi! Next time you join the #weekendblogshare, please read the rules and link your blog home page only once, not to an individual post and certainly not a number of posts. Let me know if there's any confusion!
ReplyDeleteOkay.
DeleteRon's campaign takes my mind off the hijinxs of Hillary and Donald. Give me hair of the gods and rich mahogany every time! BTW, looks like I will be avoiding the Mike's Black Cherry Lemonade. Great read, Agent 54.
ReplyDeleteThank you again. I don't drink often but I did have a Mike's Black Cherry Lemonade this year.
DeleteCan't wait until this election is over. Just two weeks.
Hehe, loved this one! #FridayFrivolity
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you. You know Ron is still the best looking candidate in the race.
DeleteThanks for playing.
I can't read Lambeau Field without saying "Laaaammmmbbbeeeeaaauuu Field" out loud! Have a great week and thanks for joining us at #FridayFriviolity this week!
ReplyDeleteVery cool. Thanks for allowing me to share.
DeleteThanks for bringing your post to the Blogger's Pit Stop last week.
ReplyDeleteJanice
Thank you for allowing me to share.
DeleteHilarious but I'm pretty sure no self respecting Ched isn't pulling anything but a Pabst or Leinies outta dat cooler. Maybe a Miller if yer down by Milwaukee der.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, you know the Cheds better than I. Thanks for visiting again.
DeleteVery funny! Thanks for linking up with me!
ReplyDeleteShelbee
www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Thank you for visiting. Please come back early and often.
Delete