Agent 54 : Saluting the Troops and Veterans

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Saluting the Troops and Veterans

Agent 54 here again. Well, Ron Burgundy has conceded the Presidential race. It was a great race for Ron. Let's take a look back at the fun we had on the campaign trail.

We drop in on Ron Burgundy in his home town of San Diego with CAN campaign reporter Blitzed Wolfer. Let’s see what they are up to.

Blitzed Wolfer: Hello everyone, I’m Blitzed Wolfer with CAN the Cable Ass Network and I’m here at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot in San Diego California with 2016 Presidential Candidate Ron Burgundy. Ron, what are we doing here today?

Ron Burgundy: Blitzed, we’re here to watch about 480 brand new United States Marines graduate from USMC Basic Training or “Boot Camp”. You know Blitzed, living in San Diego, I sometimes come here to watch these graduation ceremonies. It makes me feel good that there are still so many fine young men who volunteer to become razor sharp Marines so they can defend our freedom.

Blitzed: Indeed it is an awesome sight to see.

Ron: You know that today, November 10^th was the Marine Corps 241^th Birthday and , November 11^th is Veterans day and it is also The Only Wendy Shade’s Birthday when I believe she will be 29, again. Wendy’s father was a Marine and she has a special love for Marines and Veterans. Campaign volunteer Tim is also a former Marine and volunteers Howard and Joe B. are both Army veterans.

Ron Burgundy

Blitzed: Yes, I noticed the Campaign volunteers aren’t here today.

Ron: Right, we let the Campaign have a couple weeks off to salute the Troops and Veterans and celebrate Thanksgiving with their own families.

Blitzed: How’s the Campaign going, by the way?

Ron: Quite well, quite well. I’m meeting all kinds of,,,,Americans, from all different walks of life. I went to Fenway Park and saw the World Champion Red Sox. I’ve been tailgating in the Midwest and I’ve eaten fresh Salmon in the Northwest and I may have had an alien encounter in the Southwest.

Blitzed: An alien encounter! What happened? Did you meet Spacemen? Did they beam you up? Did you get probed? Please explain?

Ron: Oh heaven’s no! Uh, I was just kidding. In fact, forget I mentioned that. You know I met Cher in Sedona, Arizona.

Blitzed: I met Cher some time ago as I was covering one of her tours. She still looks good and she is very nice.

Ron: Yes she is. Very nice. Very, very nice. Super nice. Hey! We were in St. Louis and we learned all about junk. I met a possible new Junk Czar or maybe Junkmaster General for my administration.

Blitzed: That’s great. So what are your immediate plans?

USS Midway

Ron: When I leave here I’m going over to the USS Midway which is docked here. They’ve turned it into a floating museum and there is all kinds of military history to learn there. It’s really neat to be on a WWII vintage Aircraft Carrier.

Blitzed: I’ve seen the ship but, I haven’t visited it yet.

Ron: We should go together. You know usually there are many vintage aircraft on the flight deck but, they can set it up the for banquet events and they even had a flag football game for charity on-board.

Blitzed: Sounds great. There really is so much to see and do here.

Ron: Taking a harbor tour is fun too. You go out on nice tour boat and you see all the docked warships that they are working on . There are Submarines, Aircraft Carriers, Destroyers and secret robot ships. Don’t bother looking for the “Stealth Cruiser”. You can’t see it. Did you see the statue of “The Kiss” next to the USS Midway?

Blitzed: No, I guess I missed that.

Ron: It’s a big statue of that picture of a Sailor kissing a nurse after Japan surrendered in 1945. It was in all the papers back then.

Blitzed: Well, now I have to go see it. As we wrap this interview up Ron, what would you like to say to the people?

Ron: I want to thank all the Troops and their families from all the different service branches and all the Veterans for their selfless sacrifices. Your fellow citizens do appreciate what you are doing and what you have done. We are aware that Freedom isn’t Free and you great guys and gals have paid or are paying the price and we can’t thank you enough for that.

Blitzed: Well said. That’s it from San Diego. I’m Blitzed Wolfer with Ron Burgundy on the campaign trail for CAN.