
Here’s my report.
Scene: Large
union hall with hundreds of audience seats and small stage with a podium and 6
chairs flanking it on each side. There
are many flags behind the podium and chairs and a portrait of the union
President is hanging above center stage.
As the union members are milling about and filling the seats, Inspector
Gadget takes the podium.
Inspector Gadget:
Alright everybody, settle down. I
want to get this meeting started on time.
Flo walks up
to the podium from the side of the stage.
She is wearing her official BSers Union jacket with the official seal on
it.
Flo: (As
she’s walking) Com’on Inspector Gadget, you know I’m the head of
our local. This is my meeting. Git!
Shoo!
Flo chases
Gadget off the stage.
![]() |
Flo |
Flo: Alright everybody,
we get enough BS doing our jobs so I want to cut the crap and get right to the
results of the election of this year’s negotiating team for the BSers Local
1099. Okay, let’s settle down and get to
it.
Audience of
union members politely applauds and settles down. Agent 54 is seated next to John Rambo in the
middle of the audience.
Agent 54 (to John Rambo): I sure hope I was elected to the team.
Rambo (to Agent 54):
Me too. I hope they didn’t elect
a bunch of butt-kissers like last year.
Flo: Okay,
I’m going to read the list of winners.
As I call your name, come join me on the stage and take a seat. Here we go.
As Flo reads
the names there are various cheers and even some jeers and the room gets noisy. As Flo goes on the jeering gets louder. When Flo is done Agent 54 and Rambo have
looks of stunned disappointment on their faces.
Agent 54:
What the hell!
Rambo: What
the hell! Who the heck voted for them
bozos?
Agent 54: I
demand a recount! Can I demand a
recount? What the hell?
Rambo: Yeah,
I dunno. What the hell can we do?
Agent 54: How
are those knuckleheads going to negotiate?
I mean, the language
barrier alone is a reason to vote for someone else,
like me!
![]() |
John Rambo |
Rambo: Yeah,
I mean El Guapo is going to be a real problem on that team.
Agent 54:
Well actually, I was thinking of the Minions. I mean, what the hell language do they speak
anyway?
Rambo: Yeah,
there’s that and you know I love Billy Idol but, com’on.
Agent 54:
Right! Who’s going to keep Billy
sober for the negotiations?
Inspector
Gadget startles us by suddenly appearing next to us.
Inspector Gadget:
Take it easy boys. This election
was rigged from the start. Why else do
you think I’m not up there.
Rambo: I
could think of a few reasons.
Agent 54:
Wait! What the hell? You mean you knew who was going to win before
we voted? (Stuttering with anger) An, an, and why would someone rig it to have
the phreaking Geico Gecko on the team? Tha, tha, that don’t make no sense!
Inspector Gadget:
Believe me boys, there’s no one on that team that wasn’t hand-picked by
the union President.
The Joker
startles us again by suddenly appearing.
The Joker:
Well, I knew there was something fishy when I saw Charlie Tuna up on the
stage.
![]() |
The Joker |
Inspector Gadget:
Boys, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll forget this election and
just support the negotiating team,
Goodnight.
Inspector
Gadget gets up and walks away and The Joker is gone too. A stunned Agent 54 turns to Rambo.
Agent 54:
What the hell just happened?
Rambo: I
think we was just sent a message.
Agent 54: What
the hell are we going to do.
Rambo: What’s
this “we” crap? I’m going to keep my
mouth shut and go with the flow.
Flo startles
us again by appearing out of nowhere.
Flo: That’s
good advice. You best take it, Agent
54. Com’on, let me buy you a Dr. Pepper.
Agent 54:
Yeah uh, I guess, Uh, alright,
uh, go team go.
So,
Agent 54 lost another one. Oh well,
there’s always next year. Just got to
figure out who’s butt to kiss. “Go team
go!”
Sometimes there's just no fighting City Hall. Or whoever is in charge of the Union. Maybe next year.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your support.
DeleteNo one cares what the people want anymore. They know best. Not.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺
I guess we just have to go with the Flo.
DeleteThanks for playing. Have a great week.
Fab piece if writing and so true in a sense, half of getting ahead in life seems to be about who you know #ReadWithMe
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading. I have written a few pieces about my part-time job at the NSA under the DORD. Please come back and review them all at your leisure.
DeleteHi Agent 54,
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing your brand of humor to the Blogger's Pit Stop Linky Party.
Janice, Pit Stop Crew
Thank you for allowing me to share.
ReplyDeleteI am Flo's faithful servant! ha ha. Thanks for sharing on #FridayFrivolity
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm going with the Flo now too.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Hehe, love the Joker putting in an appearance! Thanks so much for sharing over at Friday Frivolity :)
ReplyDeleteI never know how to take what The Joker says.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Very original! #DreamTeam
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it.
DeleteThanks for playing.
This sounds like how it all works. True story #kcacols
ReplyDeleteKeepin it real. Thanks for playing.
Delete