Agent 54 here again. I recently had to fly across country for personal reasons and so I thought there might be some humor I could write about in the whole air travel process, but I was wrong.
Well, I
thought I was wrong until one of the voices in my head, Bob, corrected me. Bye the way, Bob is the voice that I sent
looking for that comedy idea I had lost in 2013 (Voices). I hadn’t named Bob at that point and he
received some emotional injuries then but, Bob has made a full recovery and I
know everyone is grateful for that.
So, three of
the voices in my head and I are sitting here drinking coffee and discussing
domestic air travel. You know Bob so, let
me introduce Stu and John, Stu is the
annoying voice that stutters and John is stoic and has a very subtle, dry sense
of humor. Sometimes I think John doesn’t
even know he’s being funny.
We
all seem to agree about the best airline joke but, the problem is that it is a
visual joke. Bob is insisting I include
it so, here goes nothing.

Bob:
See! It works great! You know if you listen to me more often you’d
be making money on this blog. I mean big
bucks!
Stu; Ye, ye,
ye yeah. Li li li listen to B, B, Bob.
Agent 54:
What the heck are you talking about?
How can you say it works when I’m not even finished writing this yet?
John: Correct,
Agent 54. The audience must decide if the
joke works. As an audience member, I
think it sucks.
Agent 54; John,
you’re supposed to be a participant in this.
Not an audience member.
John: I’m
going to deny having anything to do with this project if you include that joke.
Bob: Who are
you going to deny it to? You been
talking to other people’s voices in their heads? Huh?
You cheatin on Agent 54?
Stu: Ch, ch,
ch cheater!
(John turns his nose up, crosses his legs and stares
out a window into my subconscious.)
Agent 54:
Shut up, Stu. How is that even
possible? Com’on guys. We’re supposed to be writing something funny
for my fans.
Bob:
Fans? That’s a bit generous, don’t
ya think.
Stu: F, f, f,
fart joke fans.
Agent 54:
Nothing wrong with a good fart joke.
Let’s explore that some more.
Bob: Okay, let
me ask you, Agent 54. Did you fart on
the airplane?
Agent 54:
Yes, yes I did. Every single one,
every time I fly.
Stu: O, o, o,
okay?
(10 seconds of silence)
John: You
guys are morons. May I be excused?
Agent 54:
No! Are you for real? Where the hell are you going to anyway?
Bob: Told ya,
he’s cheatin on ya.
Stu: Ch, ch,
ch cheater!
Agent 54:
Guys! Com’on! We’re getting nowhere.
Stu: O, o, o,
okay, h, h, h, how about this. A, a, a,
airline food makes you f, f, f, fart.
Bob: That’s a
fact Stupy boy, not a joke.
John: Agent
54’s farts are smarter than this whole conversation.
Bob and Stu make fart noises: ththththththththththffarttttttt.
Agent 54:
Alright, that’s all I can take.
Why don’t you guys go learn to speak Spanish or something.
Bob: Feliz
burrito! Thththththfartttttt.
Stu: O, o, o,
ole! Th, th, th, thththfartttttt.
So, it turns out that I was right from the start. There is nothing funny about flying across country.
Voices
Group Session
LA LA Liked It
So, it turns out that I was right from the start. There is nothing funny about flying across country.
Voices
Group Session
LA LA Liked It
I agree with you, but reading this was funny.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺
Thank you for flying Agent 54 Airways.
DeleteFlying is scary, reading about the voices in your head talking about flying is funny. Have a blessed and beautiful Sunday, no matter how many of you there are!
ReplyDeleteWe all thank you.
DeleteLMAO @ Agent 54’s farts are smarter than this whole conversation.
ReplyDeleteHave a fartfreetastic evening :-)
Nobody ever admits it but, somebody cut the cheese on that flight.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Haha. This is too funny. I was a flight attendant, but can't say I miss it!
ReplyDeleteThank you for laughing.
DeleteLOL! This is a fun read! It's true, airline food DOES make you fart! Thththfartttttt!
ReplyDeleteYes it does but, how did Stu know?
DeleteThanks for playing.
Lol. No matter how old you are, farts are always funny. Although I am secretly hoping never to be seated next to you on an airplane.
ReplyDeleteI wish you good luck with that.
DeleteThanks for visiting.
The perfect post to be linked with a linky called #fartglitter! Thanks for the giggle (because yes - farts are always funny) and for linking up!
ReplyDeleteI fit right in with that linky.
DeleteThanks for visiting.
This is so inspiring! I love the post:)
ReplyDeleteirenethayer.com
I'm glad to inspire you but, I don't know to what.
DeleteThanks for playing.
I love the way you shared this post sometimes the best ways to deal with something scary is to have a bit of fun thanks for doing just that
ReplyDeletecome see us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com
Thank you.
DeletePlease come back early and often.
I liked this depiction of the "voices in your head." I guess all of us writers who have characters have voices in our heads or maybe these guys are your muses? :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, muses, yeah that's it.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Great post! Thanks for sharing on Wordless Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeletePlease come back early and often.
I need to sit next to you on a flight. I always get lumped with the ones who talk about plane crashes! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
ReplyDeleteI'll let you know the next time I schedule a flight.
DeleteThanks for playing.
What is it about men and fart jokes? My husband is almost 60 and he stills tells them (and farts...and yeah, I laugh).
ReplyDeleteI don't know but, it works and therefore, there will be more.
DeleteThanks for visiting again. You are always welcome.
Ah, the fart joke. So much (air) mileage in them ;) #fridayfrolics
ReplyDeleteYes, if they're done right.
DeleteThanks for playing.
I love flying but agree, it's not often very funny. Annoying more like! Thanks for joining the #weekendblogshare
ReplyDeleteThank you for allowing me to share.
DeleteLove your background!! Of course, you knew I would!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not into fart jokes, but up untill that point, I enjoyed the convo tremendously!!
I have voices in my head too. But, I haven't named them.
I wonder if they know Stu, John, and Bob??
Yes, I wonder if John has been cheating on me with some of your voices. Let me know if you hear something.
DeleteThanks for playing.
And I like this. Thanks for visiting my blog.
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure.
DeleteHope to make you laugh again. I did make you laugh, didn't I?
Haha, I don't mind flying, but have become a tad more nervous in recent times. This was a funny read though. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky
ReplyDeleteWe have to take a flight together sometime.
DeleteThanks for allowing me to share.
Very funny and I love the fart jokes the child in me lolThanks for linking to the #binkylinky come back next week please
ReplyDeleteGlad you like fart jokes.
DeleteThanks for playing and inviting me to share again.
I thought you'd write about how to piss people off on a plane. Thanks for sharing with us at Creatively Crafty Link Party #CCBG http://tryit-likeit.com/link-party-it
ReplyDeleteSorry, the voices kinda took over that whole post.
DeleteThanks for allowing me to share.
Hi Timothy, you have me rolling over here! I wish my voices where as funny as yours. Mine scare me lol Thanks for sharing with us at #SimplifyWednesdays Pinned, Tweeted, Shared
ReplyDeletexo,
Carla a.k.a Mrs. R @ SimplifyLifeWithMrsR.com
Be careful, don't hurt yourself.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Hi Agent 54,
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought I was the only one who had voices in my head. I hadn't actually named them, but one if my good side and one is my bad side. Angel and Devil, would that work for names?
Thanks for bringing your post to Blogger’s Pit Stop last week.
Janice, Pit Stop Crew
I'm really enjoying sharing with BPS. Good responses.
DeleteThanks for allowing me to share.
Hi (Is it Tim? Timothy?)
ReplyDeleteI loved your post. Refreshing to know we all hear voices in our heads! You won the Blogger's Pit Stop Linky party with this! Congratulations! You will be featured this Friday. You reassured us and with humor.
Janice
Tim is fine. Thanks for sharing my silliness.
DeleteYes, flying not funny, but everyone should have a voice in their head called Bob - that's always funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for joining #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you next time
Bob is the man,,, or uh the voice.
DeleteThanks for allowing me to share.
Haha this is too good!! Soo funny!! Thank you for sharing on #FlyAwayFriday and can't wait to read the next one!
ReplyDeleteThank you for laughing. You did laugh didn't you?
DeleteHaha wow what a unique entry for #FlyAwayFriday - I loved it! I definitely laughed! Thank you so much for sharing, can't wait to see what you'll share with us tomorrow! xo
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed this. I live to make people laugh.
DeleteThanks for allowing me to share.
I must stay clear of the food when I fly on Saturday! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉
ReplyDeleteThank you for allowing me to share.
DeleteYou can't go wrong with a good fart joke!
ReplyDeleteI have to say that is true. Of course United Airlines has made flying more interesting but, not really funny.
DeleteThanks for playing.
I do not fly ever since the incident in Cleveland. Thanks for sharing it at #WoW Words on Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteThanks for playing.
DeleteLiberals demanding a Boycott of Goya Foods for its support of Trump clearly displays their intollrence and the real ugly side of Liberals
ReplyDeleteThat's what the Voices in my head say.
Delete