Groundhog Day and the Department of Redundancy Department

Caddyshack

  Agent 54 here again.  There have been rumors going around the DORD that there could be budget cuts coming.  At the same time the very symbol of the DORD, the noble Groundhog, is facing the threat of extinction on golf courses everywhere.  This is doubly disturbing for me because less funding and the loss of the Groundhog mean less laughter and that makes the world a less funny place and nobody needs that right now or ever.   

 

Groundhog Day

Just like how Bill Murray’s comedy career needed two movies co-starring the lovable rodent, the world needs to double down on the humor my NSA under the DORD and Groundhogs provide.  Who else will “dig up the dirt” on the Ron Burgundy Campaign for President?  What else would truck drivers order at diners other than “Groundhog Parmigiana” in an attempt to make waitresses laugh?

  I understand that some people have a problem with my NSA spying on innocent American citizens whether they’re living or dead or fictional.  I know golfers get angry when their balls go down a Groundhog hole or they break and ankle stepping in one.  I believe that is a small price to pay for the hilarious humor we provide.  Just think of the joy the millions of readers of this blog get on a daily basis.  I know some of you are in stitches right now.  You’re welcome.

  Some people think the DORD is a waste of taxpayer dollars.  I know many just think of Groundhogs as roadkill cuisine.  I challenge you people to open your minds to giving the humor of the NSA and Groundhogs the respect that Agent 54 and Bill Murray deserve.

  So, for the sake of worldwide levity, I’m calling on you for action now.  I want you to support Politicians around the globe who promise to double the funding for the NSA under the DORD and create a second Groundhog Day on August 2^nd annually to honor Spies and Groundhogs for humor’s sake.  

Let’s put a smile on the faces of Spies and Groundhogs everywhere.

Great Northwest