
Sure, there
are some emotions that people like.
Love, satisfaction, happiness, joy, excited and full come to mind but, these
positive emotions are overwhelmed by negative emotions like, hate,
disappointment, anger, sadness, frustration, irked, perturbed, disgusted,
offended, confusion, embarrassment, envy, jealousy, and not full. Why so many negatives? It’s not fair.
The second
problem with all these emotions is severity.
There are too many highs and lows because people take these emotions to
extremes. Even love. I know you love your little Chihuahua but,
carrying it around in public or in your purse is going too far. Likewise, I understand you hate my cigar
smoke but, banning smoking in every building in the country is a little
extreme, don’t ya think?
Sometimes I
get confused wondering about which emotions or how much emotion people expect
to see from me in certain situations. Example: You tell me your dog died. I don’t like dogs but, I like you. So I fake empathy for your dog while Bob, my
favorite voice in my head, is telling me that you should just go to the animal
shelter and pick out a new, totally dependent, dirty and dumb animal to chew on
your new shoes and crap on your carpet.
Of course I have to suppress Bob because you would freak out if I told
you Muffy or Dogzilla was no more important or hard to replace than your
favorite reclining chair. Oh great! Now the dog lovers are offended. I’m Sorry (am I really sorry or just faking
it?). Great! Now you know what it’s like to be confused
like me.

Expressing
emotions correctly can be difficult too. Have you ever accidentally used the wrong
emoji? Do you even know what an emoji
is? What about our facial
expressions? All of our faces are
different. What if I drink too much
coffee (is that possible?) and develop a twitch in my eye? You might think I’m winking at you and then
the next thing you know, we’re engaged to be married. Who needs that pressure!
FYI: Full is what you are after going to Taco Bell
and Not Full is what you are before you go to Taco Bell. I believe that limiting yourself to just
these two basic emotions could lead to a more even and sane life. I think Mr. Spock would agree.
So who is
going to join me in this noble experiment?
Who is brave enough? Please
follow my lead and return to this blog post to record your experiences in the
comments section twice a week for the next 20 years.