Agent 54 : Is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. He works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. He reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
Sunday, October 23, 2016
here again. While I was carelessly
watching football and baseball on my TV, I noticed some Shifting Alliances that
made me curious. When I brought these
concerns up with my wife, she made me feel like I was the only one in the world
who cared or even noticed these things.
Is that true? Am I alone? Do I need psychotherapy? Let me explain before you answer these
questions or before you send the guys in the white jump suits with the big
butterfly nets and strait jackets again.
I have long
thought it was very odd that The General of General Car Insurance ran around
with a Penguin for a pal. Though
Penguins are an up and coming species and may someday challenge Cats for WorldDomination of this puny planet, my thoughts were “What the heck do Penguins
have to do with Car Insurance”? Penguins
don’t drive. In fact, Penguins come from
the South Pole. Most of them have never
even seen a car and they certainly don’t buy Insurance. I’m sure there are damn few of them that
could even hold a job. Why a Penguin?
The mystery deepened
as I began to notice that The General did not treat the Penguin very well. For years The General used the Penguin for a
prop and never let him speak or fed him.
Then I saw The General driving his snazzy red Corvette without his usual
buddy the Penguin in the passenger seat.
Did anyone else notice the sounds of kicking coming from the trunk of the
Corvette? I don’t care if The General
had to clean Penguin poop from the passenger seat, locking him in the trunk was
just plain wrong and I have a good mind to call PETA on his ass.
Shaq & The General
thing you know, Shaquille O’Neal (Shaq) is riding shotgun with the General and
has speaking parts in his advertisements.
It appears that The General had thrown the Penguin under the red
Corvette. I do like Shaq because he
knows from funny but, he’s no Penguin and he should have had more respect than
to break-up the General-Penguin team.
start to cry for the Penguin, let me tell you the good news. In the most important and accurate article
The New York Times has ever published, it was announced that the Penguin had
landed a new gig as Winnie the Pooh’s new buddy and had even been given a cool
new name, “Winter”. There’s no word yet about
the question of is “Winter” going to get a speaking part in his new roll or if eventually
Pooh-bear (he is a bear, you know) will eat the penguin (a stunt penguin, of
course). Never the less, I was happy
that the Penguin landed on his happy feet and I wish him well.
Winnie the Pooh & Winter
usual, my examination of this subject has left me with more questions than
answers like: If the 7’1” tall former
NBA MVP, Shaq is mistreated by The General, will Shaq stuff him into his own
helmet and punt him off the Santa Monica pier into the middle of the Pacific
Ocean? Will Winnie the Pooh’s new buddy,
Winter convince the bear to become a vegetarian? Is the New York Times good for anything other
than Penguin cage liner? And finally,
does anyone other than me give a crap?