Agent 54
here again. I don’t know why we at the
NSA under the DORD have Earl’s Undead Diner, located just outside Pasadena, bugged
but, what the heck, I’m getting paid to listen.
Saturday, our old zombie buddies from the movie business met there for lunch. Here’s my report:
Scene: Earl’s
Undead Diner looks like a typical East Coast diner that has been abandoned for
a couple of decades. It’s dirty and dark
and there is Spanish Moss covering much of the exterior. Inside you can hear Rob Zombie playing on the
juke box. The smell is better than you
would think. Kind of a mixture of a nice
Italian tomato sauce and rotting flesh.
There are about two dozen patrons including a few Zombies and Werewolves
but, it’s too early in the day for Vampires.
Most of the crowd are regular people dressed up like Zombies or Werewolves
or Vampires or Smelly Pirate Hookers.
Tis the season.
A zombie
waitress who was quite good looking, when she was alive, arrives at table 4
where our three zombies, Allan, Max and Brad are seated.
Zombie Waitress:
Hey boys, the usual?
Zombie Brad:
Naw, you got any of that Brainloaf that Jerry’s wife makes for ya?
Waitress:
Yeah, she just dropped 10 more off on Thursday. Everyone here want the loaf?
Brad: Yeah,
that’s right, guys?
Zombies Allan and Max nod in approval.
Waitress: 3
Brainloafs and 3 Bloody Marys coming up.
As the waitress shuffles away, Max speaks up.
Zombie Max:
Look at those posers over there.
If they only has a clue about what being a real zombie is all about.
Zombie Allan:
I hate them tourists.
Zombie Brad:
Oh com’on guys. You know, if it
weren’t for them, this place would be closed.
Max:
Whatever! So, have you heard
anything about work?
Brad: I’m on
it. My buddy Ziggy is supposed to have
some info for me later this week.
Allan:
What? That ain’t much to go
on. I ain’t been paid since my second
week on that Zombienado fiasco. That was
the stupidest idea ever!
Max: Yeah,
right! Nobody got paid. I had high hopes for that project. I was thinking we might make 2 or 3 sequels
for that piece of crap.
Brad: Yeah, I
know that Zombienado failure was a real drag.
Allan: I’ll
say. Them Producers were a bunch of
morons. I mean, who makes a bunch a stinkin
sharks the heroes of a movie? Don’t make
no damn sense.
Brad: Hey,
this is Hollywood we’re talking about.
It makes no sense that Vin Diesel has a career but, he’s rich enough to
buy all three of us ten times over.
Max:
Right! I gave up on trying to
make sense. Now I just want to make
cash.
![]() |
Vin Diesel |
Allan: What
the hell happened to them damn Producers anyway? We ever gonna get paid? If we don’t get paid, they’d better throw
them bums in jail.
Brad: I heard
they left town. Skipped the country is
what I was told.
Max: You know
I heard that too. I had a fantasy where
they were all fleeing to Mexico in a small motorboat that was attacked by Giant
Squids and they all got ate.
Brad: Giant Producer
eating Squid. Hmmm. You know, Hollywood just might go for
something like that.
Max: You
really think so? I mean they don’t have
to be Producers. They could be Directors
or Agents or Politicians or other criminals too. You know, I could sit down and write something
up for this idea. You wanna help?
Allan: Here
you go again with your big stupid dreams.
You guys been smoking too much uh yur medical marijuana.
Brad and Max together: Brains, brains, moan, groan.
Allan: Damn
comedians.
brainloaf sounds uuuuuuuuuuuu-mmmmmmmmm interesting :)
ReplyDeleteWe should meet at Earl's sometime for lunch.
DeleteThanks for playing.
I think I'll pass on that diner. The people and the food would be very scary.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺
Well, maybe some other place and some other time.
DeleteHave a great week.
Brainloaf -- : ) then shit for brains on the way out. Sounds like your quintessential hollywood producer.
ReplyDeleteUh, thanks for bringing that up.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Poor zombies! They gotta make a living just like the rest of us. Hope they get a break soon!
ReplyDeleteYeah, they deserve a break.
DeleteThanks for playing.
well that was an interesting read first thing in the morning ;)
ReplyDeleteHappy to wake you up.
DeleteThanks for visiting.
I'd go to a place like that
ReplyDeleteService is a little slow but the Brainloaf is to die for.
DeleteThanks for playing.
I agree. I don't think I would want to visit that diner. Thanks for linking up for Wordless Wednesday!
ReplyDeleteThank you for allowing me to share.
DeleteI'm sure there's plenty of work going in The Walking Dead??! Sounds like they've got a super decent shot there! I'm liking the idea of the Producer Eating Squid-that definitely has the making of a cult classic!! Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if we could put the financing together to get Giant Producer Eating Squid going?
DeleteThanks for playing and allowing me to share.
This is definitely a festive story, Timothy. Perfect for upcoming Halloween. I'm not sure I'd be frequenting this diner, however. Thank you for sharing this with us on #shinebloghop
ReplyDeleteThank you for the compliment and thank you for allowing me to share.
DeleteBrainloaf sounds like something I would serve at my Halloween party! Love the signs, too. Thanks for sharing at the Halloween 2016 blog hop.
ReplyDeleteThank you for inviting me to your Halloween Party.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Hi from #WeekendBlogShare! I like the idea of Rob Zombie playing in a diner :)
ReplyDeleteI thought that was appropriate.
DeleteThanks for visiting and Happy Halloween.
Well Bloody Marys all round I reckon. Thanks for sharing with #pocolo
ReplyDeleteHave one on me and thanks for allowing me to share.
DeleteEwww brain loaf, rofl. Gross and fun! Perfect for the Halloween season. ;P #FridayFrivolity
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed the Brainloaf.
DeleteThanks for allowing me to share.
I wonder what the brain loaf in that picture is actually made of? Very effective! Thank you for joining the #weekendblogshare
ReplyDeleteYou can get Calves brains in the Asian markets nearby.
DeleteThanks for tasting.
zombienado - this is a movie that could really happen. they did sharknado after all :) #brilliantblogpost
ReplyDeleteI would go see it.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Food for thought: If God gave Satan the power to raise the dead, would Satan raise them back to life, or would he raise them to death? It's interesting how we can't get mythical creatures out of our culture. I read something very interesting once: man has a very hard time imagining something totally new. We usually only combine ideas from other things already in existence. It got me thinking, maybe a lot of science fiction and fantasy is based in reality, but governments keep those things classified. Perhaps they are sponsoring sci-fi and fantasy media to condition the public into seeing the strange reality when they finally become declassified... Hmm...
ReplyDeleteVery interesting observations. I have to get some more coffee and think about this.
DeleteI would love to visit this diner! I think I'd take it easy on the exotic menu...
ReplyDeleteWe should meet there for lunch sometime. You have to try the Brainloaf. It's to die for.
DeleteSounds like an interesting diner! Thanks for linking up with #SundaySmiles :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting Earls and my blog.
DeleteI wonder what the tourists think to the brains?? Thanks for linking to #ShareTheJoyLinky
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they enjoy them too.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Not dining there. Lol
ReplyDeleteWhy not?
DeleteThanks for playing.
It's it true that 160 is a magic number at DORD?
ReplyDelete$728,000.00 is my magic number. I believe I should be paid that much and then have a film crew follow me around to see how I handle it. That would be fun.
Deletenice article for more tech update follow any facts to learn
ReplyDeleteThanks
Delete