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The Count |
The two
people on the phone couldn’t be more different.
First, there is Green Party Candidate Jill Stein. She “decided” to demand a re-count in the 3
states closely won by Donald Trump in what appears to be a dubious effort to
help Hillary Clinton. Stein received no
percent of the vote herself because, as it turns out, trees can’t vote.
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Jill Stein |
Here’s the call.
Jill Stein:
Hello, this is Jill Stein of the Green Party, we’re clean, mean and
Green. How can I help you?
The Count:
Good evening: I am The Count ha
ha ha. I heard you may be looking for
someone to help you re-count votes. I am
the greatest counter of them all, ha ha ha.
Jill Stein:
That’s correct. We’re looking for
talented people in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania to help us get the
result we’re looking for, if you know what I mean.

Jill Stein:
Oh no, nobody voted in Transylvania. we need the votes re-counted in the
State of Pennsylvania of the USA. Can
you relocate for a while, Mr. Count?
The Count:
Yes, yes I can relocate, if the “Green count” is right, ha ha ha, and by
“Green count” I mean green-backs, bucks, dollars, moola etc, ha ha ha.
Jill Stein:
That sounds great. Of course we can pay you handsomely, as long as the
count goes our way, if you know what I mean.
The Count:
Very well then. I will give you
the most stylish and accurate re-count of the votes the world has ever seen, ha
ha ha.
Jill Stein:
Uh, I’m not sure you understand, Mr. Count. We’re not looking for accuracy, we already
have that. We’re looking for a certain
outcome. You know what I mean. We’re trying to cheat.
The Count:
Cheat? You want The Count to come
up with the wrong count? This I cannot
do. For thousands of years I have been
known as the most stylish and accurate counter in the world. I cannot compromise my reputation with an
incorrect calculation, ha ha ha
Jill Stein:
Well, I can get a chimpanzee to give me an accurate re-count for peanuts.
I’m looking for certifiable results
here.

Jill Stein:
(to herself after the call) Hmmm,
I wonder if chimps can be trained to cheat?
Well,
it looks like poor Jill’s misguided efforts to cheat are going to fail. Maybe next time she can get “the woods” vote
out to help her win.
I loved watching Sesame Street when I was a kid ha ha ha :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I am counting to Evie - I have to stop my self going "vun, two, three how I love to count ha ha ha"
The Count is the best.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Weirdest bunch of losers ever. I've never seen the stupidity that I've seen during this election. The dems really need to take a look at themselves. They have lost their way.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺
The Donkeys have gone so far left that they can never recover.
DeleteWhining and blaming isn't going to bring new voters to them.
Thanks for allowing me to share and always commenting. Have a great week.
TRees don't vote...that's a good one!
ReplyDeleteYou raise an issue I agree with, if her stupid count changed results, wouldn't we need another recount to confirm the recount? I used to play stickball with these people, if they didn;t get their way they left with the only ball and bat.
We had a name for them in the day, I think it was shitheads...yeah, that was it, we called them shitheads.
Yes, shitheads seems to capture the essence of the thing.
DeleteThanks for playing.
If the recount doesn't work, maybe Ms.Stein can just go back to being a grunge poet/songstress. The world needs that contribution. Funny as always, Agent 54.
ReplyDeleteGood to know that Jill's future is bright.
DeleteThanks for playing again.
Love your post, I'll help her recount in my favor!!!If you know what I mean!
ReplyDeleteHave a great week!
Glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Haha....good post. Thanks for sharing this at Together on Tuesdays. I'm sure it will entertain us all :)
ReplyDeleteHappy to make you laugh. Thanks for allowing me to share.
DeleteDon't you love logic, there is not a lot around these days. A great LOL post.
ReplyDeleteKathleen
Bloggers Pit Stop
Yes, thank you for allowing me to share.
DeleteVery creative and funny! Love 'The Count'.
ReplyDeleteThe Count is the best.
DeleteThanks for playing.
Love your post lol
ReplyDeleteThank you. I try to make people chuckle. Come back early and often. I take some nice pictures too.
Delete