Agent 54 is a regular guy. He has a sense of humor and an active imagination. Agent 54 works for the Nominal Secrets Apparatus (NSA) under the DORD (Department of Redundancy Department) as a Listener/Reader. His job is to read, view or listen to data collected by the NSA and determine if there is a risk to national security. Agent 54 reports to his bosses, H. Cuffs and Max (Agent 86). He doesn’t take his job too seriously because he knows he’s spying on regular people most of the time.
here again.I was eggxcited to get this
colorful phone call between the foremost distributor of Easter Eggs and the
head of the Egg Manufacturing Union.Seems that one side wants a new deal.Will these guys be able to resolve their differences before Easter
Sunday?Let’s hope so for the children’s
Here’s my report.
A bunny secretary speaks into her bosses
intercom: EB, I have Chicky Hoffa from
the EMU on line one.
Easter Bunny (EB):
(sarcastically) Great, just what
I need. Okay, I got it.
EB clicking line one: Hey Chicky, how are ya? What can I do for ya.
Chicky Hoffa, head of the EMU: Hi EB.
You know we’re busy as heck trying to build up your inventory for this
year’s Easter season.
EB: Yes, and
we appreciate all of your hard work. We’re
working around the clock here to get ready too.
well frankly, we at the EMU think you could appreciate us a little more and I
don’t mean chicken scratch either.
EB: Now wait
a minute here Chicky, we just made a new deal in 2018, We still got 4 years on our contract. I’m afraid I can’t hop up to the plate to
make a new deal at this time.
Chicky: (in an elevated tone) Hey fur-ball, you know that ever since the
stupid HOP movie came out, demand for our eggs has doubled. My hens are working overtime and we need a
bigger slice of the pie if you want us to keep up with demand. We want more of the recognition for Easter
too. After all we make the darn things.
EB: No need
for insults, Chicky. I’m sure you
realize that if it weren’t for me you would have almost no demand, I’m the face of your product and let’s not forget
my expenses. I have designers, artists,
distribution and administrative staff to pay.
Chicky: I don’t
give a fart about that and I still can’t figure out how you made humans believe
that a bunny would deliver decorated chicken eggs. You know, I got an idea. I just might create an Easter Chicken and knock
your cotton tail right out of this whole industry. How’s that sound?
EB: Is that a
threat? Cause you may not know this but
I’ve been talking to Donald Duck and he says that between his ducks and a bunch
of quails he’s organized, I can get more than enough eggs to fill my orders.
that what we’re doin here? Usin
words? Words like ducks and quails? Is that what we’re doin?
calm down here. We’ve been in business
together too long to throw it all away now.
Truth is we got a good thing going here and we should be able to figure
out how to keep it going.
well I just wanted to remind you that the Lucky Rabbit’s foot industry is
starting to take off again. Say, how
well do you hop on 3 legs?
this is getting ugly now. Look let’s
talk turkey at our next board meeting. I’ll
buy you a drink and we can sit down and discuss things like civilized, professional,
Okay, I’ll be there but remember, I ain’t exactly 100% domesticated
either. I’m warning you, don’t tweak my
EB: Yes, of
course not. You know, I’ve always had
the utmost respect for you and your Union.
I’ll see ya at the meeting.
here again.My wife dragged me and my movie
buddies to see LA LA Land starring Emma Stone as Mia and Ryan Gosling as
Sebastian (Seb) today.It was a more
believable movie than 50 Shades of whatever and I'm sure the dance numbers were
better too.Surprisingly, we all seemed
to enjoy LA LA Land.
another of our poolside reviews.
Scene: Agent 54 is sitting at a poolside table with
a soda, notebook and a pen, Everyone
else is in the pool relaxing.
Well, as usual, I have to start things off . To tell the truth I thought LA LA Land
was going to be the typical boring “chick-flick” that my wife makes me sit
through from time to time so I can get to watch great movies like Sharknado
and District 9.
went in with an open mind and actually enjoyed the movie. I found the dance scenes to be colorful and
energetic. I enjoyed the scenes filmed
in and around Hollywood and the movie made me want to go back there for
vacation again. Much of the movie
brought the viewers back to the golden age of Hollywood musicals and the music
was good, especially if you enjoy jazz.
Carol (Mrs. Agent 54): I liked the story except at the end when the
guy and the girl didn’t end up together. I thought that was sad.
maybe but, they be keepin it real.
Nobody in Hollywood stays hooked up for very long. I really enjoyed John Legend’s vibe as the
leader of the band that Seb joined.
Yeah, well, I liked Emma Stone.
She’s one of the cutest little Hollywood starfish in the sea.
Oh boy. You still got no class,
Flip. Last movie we saw you got a crush
on Isla Fisher and that’s all you remember about the flick.
what can I say. I’m a suckerfish for
little Redhead Herrings.
Yeah, getting back to the movie, I have to agree with Shamu. The underlying message of LA LA Land was
one of the sacrifice and commitment needed to make your dreams come true.
I say Mia has no class either. I
mean, after they split up Seb intercepts an audition call-back for Mia and he
drives off to Colorado to drag her to the audition which makes all her dreams
come true. What does she do for
him? She gets rich and famous and forgets
all about him and marries some French guy.
Carol: OMG! He
wasn’t a French guy and she helped Seb with his career before by telling him to
chase his dreams and play his own music no matter what.
Shiiit! Seb was gonna make it no
matter what. That guy can play the piano
like nobody’s business.
Hey, take it easy Shamu. That’s
my wife you’re takin to.
Whatever, I’m just sayin he did a lot more for her than she did for him
and that’s the damn straight skippy.
I enjoyed the scene on the Santa Monica pier when Seb is singing. You know, I used to swim near there all the
time but, you got to keep your distance from the pier. Nasty fishing hooks and that kinda crap all
gets out of the pool and wraps a towel herself.
I’m heading back to the house to make dinner.
I’ve had enough of hanging around with this riff raff. You comin, Agent 54?
Agent 54: In
a minute. Gotta finish writing this up. Hey, how many Starfish?
Carol: 3 out
of 5. It was good, not great.
for Mia, er uh Emma Stone.
Starfish all day long. I liked it.
I give it a classy 4 Starfish and I would watch it again.
Agent 54: I
have to give it 4 Starfish too. I have
to admit, I was entertained.
Shiiit! Agent 54 liked a “chick-flick”
more than his wife, ha ha ha.
Agent 54: Who
you making fun of, you gave it 4 too.
Anyway, the movie averaged 3.6 Starfish.
Not bad for a “chick-flick”.
Scene: After Carol leaves, Agent 54 closes his
notebook and slowly takes off his Hawaiian shirt,then shouts,,,
the biggest splash in the history of that pool, Agent 54 comes up for air.
Agent 54: So,
Chips is gonna be a classic comedy.
Okay then, Chips, starring Dax Sheppard and Michael Pena it is.